Crime Wave at the Nu Residence

The economy's downturn has created uncertainty and unrest in the citizenry. The Nu residence has not been immune to this, as we experienced a crime wave in our neighborhood recently. For example, we have noticed suspicious people (one man on a bicycle and another fat lady in a Lexus SUV) sneaking a peek at our neighbor's flowers across the street. Flower thieves? We think so.

Most troubling is the bad influence these degenerates have on the local children. One morning, I discovered that our happy home was burglarized and the criminal later returned to the scene of the crime. In an attempt to curtail further burglaries, the Nus now store their non-can items of interest on top of the fridge, out of the reach of certain individuals.

Finally, the Nus are also taking a proactive approach by profiling--individuals who are known to have a propensity for committing assault and battery are being detained indefinitely (67 at last count).