Real Refugees of Washington, D.C. (Episode 4)

"Missing"

Emotions are low and the sisters are irritable as Ca Loc ends her visit and returns home. The remaining five visit historic Alexandria for a trolley ride and some very good Thai food. But, even good food isn't enough to stop Jean Cutter and 3-Fish from playing "Missing."* On their own, Wah Toh, MonkeyPig, and Nonny Nu traipse around Alexandria walking along the coblestone streets, admiring gas lamps, visiting George Washington's old haunts, and watching a colonial fashion show. While admiring the beautiful clothing of ladies, gentlemen, and children (including the detailing), it is established via a few cryptic text messages that "Missing" had commenced. But, the two groups find each other at an old crypt, and end up having a great time anyway.

*"Missing" is a game regularly played by a certain maternal figure in the Nu family (normally during a "pageant") whereby the figure pouts, goes off on her own, and screws up everyone else's day because everyone is busy looking for her instead of having fun together. Jean Cutter and 3-Fish were first time players of "Missing" but they played exceptionally well.

Happy Veterans' Day !!

Thank you to all the veterans out there for serving our country and keeping us safe. (This includes you, MonkeyPig and The Scorpion!)

Happy Belated Birthday, Tiferelia!

Happy 29th, Tiferelia!! I have chosen a "hot cake" for you and also some haikus!

Tell me, dear sister,
Is there time in your schedule
For fixing me food?

Yankees hit two nine
One day after you did, Tif
You guys could be twins

Oops, they're two seven
You are older after all
Don't cry--we love you


Also, from Mr. Nonny Nu...

sister 'o my loins
it is twenty-nine again
happy birthday tif

dearest tiffany
today we honor your life
pass the potatoes

years become ashes
tif turns back her birthday clock
batting eyelashes

Real Refugees of Washington, D.C. (Episode 3)

“Full House”

Finally, all six of the sisters are together. Concerned about her food options, Jean Cutter loads up on breakfast and prepares to face a day of no Chinese food. Arriving in Arlington, the sisters try to purge the laughter from their systems and don reverent faces for the somber scenes of Arlington Cemetery, including the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, the Eternal Flame, and the tram ride. The sisters hoof it over the Potomac and picnic on its bank, realizing Jean Cutter’s fear that she should have packed food provisions for this trip. Eyebrows are raised when MonkeyPig does a strip tease in front of the Lincoln Memorial, but the mood is lifted over a game of chance when five of the sisters bet when 3-Fish would emerge from reading all the text within the memorial itself (spoiler: MonkeyPig won and got to pick the restaurant for dinner). A long walk on the mall and a visit to the Vietnam War Memorial and Washington Monument later, the sisters head to Union Station to celebrate Ca Loc’s and Wah Toh’s birthdays. The day ends with a visit to the Jefferson Memorial where Jean Cutter is moved by the Founder's dedication to his country. This emotion is short-lived, however, as we will see in Episode 5 ("How dare you, DC?").

Next time: Jean Cutter and 3-Fsh play "Missing."

Bonus: We ate at an American bistro at Union Station and Jean Cutter thought the pickings were emaciated. Guess how many minutes it took for Jean Cutter to figure out what she wanted on the menu? (click here for the answer after you make your guess)

Happy Belated Birthday, Green Thumbs McGillicutty!!

What do you get for a person who bought 10 apple trees for her birthday? A candied apple cake, of course! Happy birthday, Green Thumbs. May your apple trees grow tall and in beautiful shapes.

I Love You, Sushi.

For my one and only Sushi, a haiku on the second anniversary of the Darkest Day...

Little white muff paw
Unfurling to reach for me
Veiled eyes grinning true

Real Refugees of Washington, D.C. (Episode 2)

"What Shops Do They Have At The National Mall?"

The above question is asked by 3-Fish when the ladies visit the Capitol on a tour guided by someone from Sen. Brownbeck's office and rub elbows with DC's elite as they dine on reduced-priced buffet at the Dirken Senate Building. Nonny Nu makes a quick stop by the Supreme Court for a short photo op, but a visit to the National Cathedral is cut short when The Jean Cutter arrives. Tensions rise when the Jean Cutter is not met at the airport, and is instead instructed to get to the hotel on her own and that dinner will be from McDonald's. Fortunately, there is a culinary happy ending when the real dinner is revealed to be clams in black bean sauce and assorted other Chinese food items.

Awesome sights in this episode: underground trolly/subway system connecting important buildings in DC; center in the original basement of the Capitol from which the entire city radiates, as designed by city planner, L'Enfant; Capitol's dome; purple eggs at a local grocery store.

In the next episode, 3-Fish determines the menu without knowing it, and The Jean Cutter is moved by history. Ca Loc, however, remains unimpressed with the city.

Mystery Photo 1: Who is this and what is she doing?
Mystery Photo 2: Where is Mr. Nonny Nu in this photo taken inside the Hart Senate Building?

The Real Refugees of Washington, D.C. (Pilot)

"Invasion"

In the pilot episode, the audience is introduced to the Nu Sisters. Nonny Nu arrives in DC and rendezvous with MonkeyPig at a local watering hole. Not wishing to be left out, Ca Loc confronts them at the bus stop, but ends up in a compromising position. The threesome are quickly joined by 3-Fish and Wah Toh, as they invade the capitol through the bus and the underground subway systems. Even the Navy Memorial was not prepared for such an invasion, and bowled over laughing as the sisters attempted to locate various countries on its world map. Undeterred, the Nu Sisters returned to their hotel room to plot another attack on the city.

Next time: Jean Cutter arrives in DC.

Squirrels II

A couple months ago, I reported that the Nu Residence was experiencing squirrel problems. There were many suggestions for how to deal with the squirrels, but the best one so far was a suggestion from Green Thumbs McGillicutty--Don't Cat Squirrel Spears!

Don't Cat spears are really anti-cat devices, but also work against squirrels. The incidence of squirrel attacks have diminished greatly after I installed these spears, as witnessed by Mr. Nonny Nu. After weeks of sustaining attacks, the plants were getting depressed. But, recently, buds started appearing (9 gardenia buds and 2 lily buds), so this was an especially critical time to implement a new plan. Don't Cat Squirrel Spears were immediately applied to the planter and nailed down tight.

I am very happy with this!

Happy Birthday to Mr. Nonny Nu !!

Happy birthday, my little ursa minor! You have been such a good bear to me, always watching over me and making sure that I am okay. You are the best, and I am glad to have met you way back when. Can you believe we've known each other for nearly 15 years? It seems like yesterday because we have so much fun and laughter. Here's to another 15 years!

I hope you like this cake. This is the first time in TWoNN history that an offered birthday cake is an ACTUAL cake--yes! I have had this cake since this morning and will be bringing it home now, bb!!

Your non,
nn

I <3 Willy Wonkaby Cl. Panic, on location guest blogger

You see, Mr. Wonka was kind enough to send a care package to the trial team -- and boy did it make our day.

Although it's tough to rival the baked goods available at the local truck stop, Mr. Wonka kindly packed some of the best damned peanut butter cookies I've ever had.

Thanks Mr. Wonka!

Backyard Petting Zoo (Trial Edition)

Oh, Nature! We are stuck in a hotel all day, but are we deprived of our outdoor friends? No, siree. Please say warm hello to Cow Moth:

Cow Moth has stayed with us for two days now and is officially adopted. He invited two of his pals, Furry Moth and Preying "Manty" Mantis, for a nightcap.

Trial: Shelving

We have gone to an entirely different state for trial and the associates at Nu, Nu, & Nu LLP have already been deprived of their shelving. We have commandeered an entire floor of a hotel, and used some of the rooms for offices. There are 3-4 people per office. In my office, there are 3 other associates (including Cl. Panic and L. Woods). We only had ONE shelf for the four of us who are sharing an office. But, guess what? A partner "needed" extra shelving so we were deprived.

However, the very resourceful Cl. Panic and L. Woods would not be stopped! Check out our new and very unique set of shelves:
Associates 1, Partners 0

Happy Birthday to sluggy !!

Another year, another trail of slime, sluggy!! I hope you have a wonderful day with the people who are special in your life. Here is a cake to celebrate:
It was really hard to find a slug cake, so I hope you enjoy it. Many more slimy trails!

Happy Birthday to Man from U.N.C.L.E. !!

I great big "happy birthday" to a dear friend, Man from U.N.C.L.E. I got all dressed up for it.

Haven't heard from you for a while, Man. I hope you and your little bro are doing well. Enjoy the little cake and strawberry. Please remember to brush your teeth afterward.

Your pal,
nn

Happy Belated Birthday to Skillet Girl !!

Oh, Skillet! You are a sweet little girly girl. I know you are! Happy 2nd birthday! Here is a cake that looks just like you.

Now, be a good girl and stop running away.

Love,
Momma

Happy Belated Birthday to Kashy Boy !!

I'm such a bad mom. I forgot to post a birthday wish for my Kashy. Well, here it is: I wish you a long and happy life, little one. May your meows be heard for many years.

But, he did get some cake recently (also recent photos of The Boy):

Happy Birthday, Cl. Panic!!

Wow! You are eleven years old today. How does it feel??

I hope you have a wonderful birthday while at work today and that you eventually get your fish tacos. In the meantime, feast on this very special Apple cake that I baked for you.

Long Live Panic!

P.S. A-Dog--those cranraisin and oatmeal cookies were awesome, as usual!

Goodbye, Chuck !!

2007-2009

Today, Chuck passed away. He had been battling popeye for about a week, and gasping. I think it might have been tuberculosis. He just gave out. Poor guy. I was a bad mom. I will be bringing him home to bury under a tree. Photos will be posted later (closed casket).

I will miss seeing his black face every morning. He really connected with a lot of people at NNN. I only told a few people today, but so many more expressed their condolences and their grief when word got out. Chuck touched many people.

In honor of Chuck, I have set my Outlook to say "Chuck" whenever I get email.

I miss you already, sweetie!!

UPDATE...

Here are two of Chuck's last photos taken less than a month ago:

This evening, we had a small burial ceremony in the back porch. I did the burying. Mr. Nonny Nu looked on. Chuck was a good kid. We hope you like your final resting place, boy.

Goodnight, Chuck.

Happy Birthday to Ca Loc!!

Today is Ca Loc's birthday! According to Nu Sisters' lore, Ca Loc has many hidden talents, one of which is playing the drums. You'd never think that by looking at her now! So serious, with those laser eyes...

But, Big Sister Ca Loc, thank you for always being there and caring for all of us young 'uns. We can always depend on you to give us good advice and good food. Happy Birthday!

Squirrels

I have a squirrel problem.

We have a flower planter in front of the new Nu Residence. It originally had a few bamboo plants but, due to the townhouse being empty for quite a while before the Nus moved in, the bamboo had become bamdead. So, for the past few weekends, the Nus have been working to dig up the bamboos for removal. Those suckers are stubborn! Not only do they have pretty massive root structures, their roots also grow lengthwise so that they form a network just under the surface of the soil.

We were finally able to remove all of them so we bought some nice flowers last weekend and planted them in the flower planter. See how nice they turned out? There were Asian lilies, snap dragons, feathers, gardenia, and some other kinds of lilies.

But, all is not well in the Land of Nu. Why, you ask? SQUIRRELS. Look at what they are doing to my flowers. They dig them up--see the dirt on the edge of the planter? That dirt wasn't there last night when I went to sleep. The squirrels also chomp off the buds. Now, I don't mind if they ate the flowers, but they just bite off the flowers and leave them laying around to mock me. The thing that worries me the most, though, is the fact that the squirrels are exposing the roots of my plants. I get up every morning to find little piles of dirt on the ground next to the flower planter and pretty deep holes in the flower beds themselves.

What can I do about this? Cl. Panic suggested that I employ a bb gun, but I don't exactly want to hurt the squirrels. Just keep them out of my flowers. Does anyone know of anything that will keep squirrels away without killing or hurting them??

Pen Conspiracy, Part II

See Pen Conspiracy, Part I.

Sir Walter Scott once wrote:

Oh, what a tangled web we weave,
when first we practice to deceive.
Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17.

Conspiracies are very much alive at Nu, Nu, & Nu, LLP. Why, just the other day, I reached for a yellow highlighter in my pen receptacle and found this instead:
Notice anything strange? Yes, it's a green highlighter camouflaged as a yellow highlighter. My first thought was that the ink had expired. Yes, I know. Mr. Nonny Nu will no doubt have a comment about me being a dingaling.

At the time, I was dumbfounded, but I quickly regained my composure and thought, "Who the hell could have done this?" I recalled that Cl. Panic had recently done some experimentation on Sharpie highlighters and that I had left a comment expressing skepticism at his abilities on his post. I also knew that we have a colleague at NN&N who shares a passion for pens. (Let's call her the L. Woods, just for kicks.)

I immediately took the yellow green highlighter down the hall to L. Woods, who expressed complete surprise:
nn--Dude, check this out!!
LW--What is it?
nn--It's a yellow highlighter that has green ink in it!!
LW--No way! Lemme see...
*LW hands nn a sheet of paper**
*nn lays down a thick green highlight out of the yellow highlighter*
LW--omg, that's cool.
nn--Isn't it?
LW--Totally! Where did you get that??
nn--I found it in my pen thing! I bet Cl. Panic did it.
LW--Why would he do that?
nn--Hm...you know what?? I specifically said on the blog that I didn't believe he could do this!

After this conversation, I walked back to my office and turned off my computer for the night. At that point, I heard a scream come from the L. Wood's office. Then she called my desk phone. But, seeing as how I was done for the day, I thought I'd just drop by her office on my way out. When I got there, she was BRIGHT RED with laughter and embarrassment.

LW--OMG, nn, can you delete the email I just sent you without reading it, PLEEEEEEEEZZZZZZE???? I meant to send it to someone else but sent it to you by accident. PLEEEEEEZZZZZEEEE?
nn--Um, what is it about?
LW--*sigh* Okay, I'll tell you, but you can't let Cl. Panic know that you know because I'll lose my super spy status.

With very little torture involved, L. Woods spilled the beans. Here's the email, folks:
Yes, it's practically Spy vs. Spy here at NN&N. Very interesting. However, I did receive this as a birthday present this morning!

Happy Birthday to Sushi Cat and ogunsgirl!!

Oh, Sushi! It's your birthday again. You're still the bestest kitty in the world. The two newbies are getting better (especially the grey one), but there is a very special place in my heart that only you could fill. Happy birthday, kitty. Let's you and me share this fish cake like old times...
To ogunsgirl: How time flies! We've known each other for over six years now and have become such good friends. You are always there for me! Hm. Let's see. Last year, I believe it was chocolate. So, I hope you like crab this year!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NONNY NU!

A simple Birthday Message for You.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUZ!

The Sharpie Liquid Accent ConspiracyI call shenanigans!by Cl. Panic, guest blogger

I'll start by saying that I'm a pretty big fan of all things Sharpie. And the folks as Sanford have been great about replacing their products on the rare occasion that they fail prematurely.

Those who know Cl. Panic know that Cl. Panic is a bit of a pen nut. Not enough of a pen nut to have a blog about pens, but enough of a pen nut to read the blogs of others that are more pen-nutty (or creative) than I.

As it turns out, I really like the Sharpie Liquid Accent highlighters. Nice bright colors, free-flowing ink, and no stuttering to slow death -- the mostly-clear barrel lets you now when you're about to be highlighter-less. Unfortunately Nu, Nu & Nu, LLP doesn't stock such high-end fare in the supply cabinet. Just cheap-ol' no-name highlighters that fade from fluorescent yellow to dingy, washed-out yellow after a few days on paper.

Not surprisingly, my penchant for the Liquid Accent is shared with at least one co-worker, and at least one bigger pen-nut. After reading a comment over on Good Pens, I decided I'd try to refill one of the Liquid Accent highlighters. You'd know, save the earth and all.

Refill you ask? How in the hell . . . . Well, I have a bottle of Noodler's fluorescent ink that I've been using in a refillable fountain pen to annotate really boring TPS reports and to prepare for my meetings with the Bobs. It rocks. And so that comment got me thinking: I have a bottle of ink and an empty Liquid Accent. This can't be so hard . . . .

Out came the pliers (this thing was NOT easy to open) . . . wait. Hold on. What the hell? It turns out that the Sharpie Accent has a false bottom. Or false middle. Or whatever. And not in a good "the money's hidden under the false drawer bottom" kind of way.

It just so happens that the false bottom is hidden by the trendy graphics on the barrel of the highlighter! I inserted a straw into the cavity to illustrate the treachery (ironically marking the end of the barrel with a black Sharpie).



It turns out that these run out of ink so quickly not just due to my over-highlighting, but because they come from the factory about half full!

I call shenanigans.*

The clever black barrel design. The nearly impossible-to-open end cap. All part of the great Sharpie conspiracy? The world may never know.

* Granted my now-empty Sharpie Accent wasn't a recent purchase. Perhaps the Sharpie folks have since changed their ways. But given the wide-spread occurrence of Grocery Shrink Ray, I somehow doubt it.

R.I.P. Grasshopper

David Carradine passed away. I loved him in Kung Fu and also Kill Bill. But, mostly Kung Fu. He always seemed so at peace with himself. I'm very surprised that he hanged himself.

*moment of silence*

Music of the Week: Return by OKGo

So, a bunch of us are stuck at Nu, Nu, & Nu LLP because expert reports are due. I'm just chugging along and listening to my music. Return comes on. Don't know why, but this song always reminds me of Sush. I miss you, kitty.

Return by OK Go
Now its years since your body went flat and even memories of that
are all think and dull, all gravel and glass. But who needs them
now -- displaced they're easily more safe --
the worst of it now: I can't remember your face.

Return.

For a while, with the vertigo cured, we were alive -- we were pure.
The void took the shape of all that you were, but years take their toll,
and things get bent into shape...
Antiseptic and tired, I can't remember your face.

Return.

You were supposed to grow old. Reckless, unfrightened, and old,
you were supposed to grow old.

Return. You were supposed to return.

Calendars In The Mail

Hello, everyone! Yesterday, I mailed out the TWoNN calendars. So, you all (with the exception of three people who haven't confirmed their addresses) should be receiving them soon. Check your mail boxes! They are pretty good this year.

The calendar covers the TWoNN calendar year (4/15/2009 to 4/14/2010). Each month focuses on a word that was submitted by a TWoNN citizen a few months ago. I hope you enjoy them, and I will try to get the next one to you on time.

Happy Memorial Day!!

What do you all think of my outfit today? I love it. It took some time to put together, but I believe it was worth the time. I feel pretty!

Precious Moments

No, I haven't blogged in a long time. It's because I was buried under MOUNTAINS of work (ask Cl. Panic and Green Thumbs if you don't believe me). But what has dragged me out of the bleary-eyed just-wash-enough-clothes-to-get-me-through-the-week mode that I've been in? The almost indescribably creepy concept that is Precious Moments.

You all know what I'm talking about. Those figurines of angelic children with the large eyes? Yeah, those. But you must be wondering why these precious and momentous little things should creep me out, right? Okay, I'll tell you.

I received this email today from Midge:









Without reading the URL, I just clicked on the link and was greeted with this. "What's so creepy about that??" Right. Just bear with me. So, as you all know, 3-Fish is Midge's and Midge's Sister's mom. She is also MonkeyPig's and my sister. We all love her, but 3-Fish sometimes does things that are, well, to say the least, unexplained. 3-Fish lives in Kansas and there are not any Disneylands or Magic Mountains there. Instead, they have Silver Dollar City and the aforelinked Precious Moments Park.

Now, I have nothing against SDC. I love SDC. I remember eating a very tasty turkey leg at SDC. They also had great rides. But, PMP is another matter entirely. I was never creeped out by Precious Moments until I went to the park one time when MonkeyPig, Jean Cutter, and I were visiting the Fishes in Kansas. We parked, we got out of the car, paid for admission, and was allowed onto the grounds. Now, what do you think is the first thing that greets me? The thing that sets the tone for the entire visit?

A COMPLETELY SILENT, LIFE-SIZED PRECIOUS MOMENT INDIVIDUAL FLOATING TOWARD ME WITH ITS GINORMOUS EYES.

I thought I was having a Donnie Darko moment. If I am not mistaken, I swear I heard a low hum that didn't seem to have a source as the PMI otherwise noiselessly approached. I don't know if it was because the size, dead silence, and hover of that thing was totally unexpected, but that has creeped me out for over a decade. I believe that everyone else on the visit had the same reaction and are probably traumatized by that thing, too. Okay, with the exception of 3-Fish, who just loved the visit. *rolls eyes*

Hair

One of the magazines that we subscribe to is GQ. I know that this is for guys, but I love this magazine. I really like the articles, but I love the "advice" columns and the new gadgets articles. A problem I've always had, though, is with the ads because there are so may fem models in them.

I was trolling the GQ site and saw that Edward Cullen was going to be on the cover of the April issue. (Have you read his wife's autobiography??) Normally, Mr. Nonny Nu reads the issue and then passes it along to me, but this month was different. I called dibs on it at the beginning of March. Since we were moving, I was really antsy that it would be misdirected. Anyhow, it arrived this week without a hiccup.

Now. Take a look at the Burberry ad on the back of the issue:

What is going on with the dude's hair?? I could barely contain my laughter around Zac Ephron's 'do. I mean, can a man get any prettier than that? But, that was until I saw the Burberry ad. That's some hair. Oh, cripes. I was just now trying to imagine what the hair looks like from the back. Yikes. Is there a split down the middle of that guy's head with all the hair brushed forward? I don't get it. I'm just glad Mr. Nonny Nu doesn't have enough hair to do his hair that way. Thank goodness for small favors.

Chuck at Work

Due to several attempts on Chuck's life, we have made the painful decision to let him leave the nest and strike out on his own. When Stubbie passed away, Chuck had expressed interest in a career at Nu Nu & Nu, LLP. Here is his big chance.

The new Nu residence wasn't working out for Chuck. He was initially placed upon the living room's fireplace mantel, which is his usual spot. Unfortunately, Skillet was caught a few times on the mantel cozying up to Chuck, and that made Chuck somewhat uncomfortable. One day, Skillet's intentions became plain when she was caught on the mantel peering into Chuck's room and her right arm was wet. That's when we had to move Chuck. But, the only safe place was a built in bookcase in the corner of the house where there wasn't a lot of light or foot traffic. At that time, Chuck started becoming lonely and depressed. So, Mr. Nonny Nu sent in Chuck's resume and Chuck got the job.

Chuck's first day was mostly orientation, and you could tell that he was sad. In fact, the first words out of Stubbie's Godmother this morning were, "He looks sad." I think he will snap out of it once he gets settled in and makes some new friends. It was a good sign when he ate a late lunch.

Good luck, Chuck!

So long, Backyard Petting Zoo and Castle...

Well, it's official, the Nus are completely moved out of the castle and into a cottage alongside a meadow. I turn in the keys today to the landlord. It was time to go, but still makes me sad. I won't miss the castle all that much, but I already miss our Backyard Petting Zoo. I don't think I've been sadder to leave a place before. I kept telling myself that it would be fine, but now that the time is really upon me, I am close to tears.

Last week, as we were moving in earnest, Slim came around and demanded to know what was going on. (We had tried to tell him weeks ago, but he never really got the message until things started really disappearing from the rooms.) At the time, I was the only one in the house (here's the last time Slim saw the Nu Kitties), so I let him in and let him wander around (he had done that before back in Sushi's time). I think he got the picture when he saw all the furniture, and the bear and kitties gone. I spent some time with him and petted him. So sad. Skitty was there, too. After all while, they did their usual sunning, but Slim also put on a floor show to commemorate the occasion. It will be really sad to look out the window and not see my Slim boy there.

We will miss you Slim, Skitty, Blind Kitty, Not Blind Kitty, Neighborhood Kitty, Possum Family, Raccoon Family, Skunk, Beamer, Mascii, and all the other kitties who visited sometime. Take care of yourselves, and don't fight. But, Slim is the most special of them all. He was there from the beginning. We will really miss you Slimmy, and we will always remember you like this:
Take care.