New Commenting Procedures

Whoa! I just noticed that the commenting process has changed since a week ago. They have the textbox right there for you to write in your comment! I've updated the instructions up top accordingly.

Chinese Swan Lake

Wow! You guys have to watch this (courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. 3-Fish! It's the Chinese Circus doing their rendition of Swan Lake. They should have used this chick in the Olympics instead of the infants. I bet it really hurt when she stood on that one guy's skull. I know this because whenever Skillet or Kash stand on me with their little pointy feet, all of their weight is supported on four points and it's like having someone stab you with a dowel. Can you imagine how much pressure she's putting on that guy's head?? Ouch. Of course, only the Chinese would come up with something so artful, incredible, and ridiculous at the same time. Hey, I wonder how it will look if I stand on one toe on the top of your head? Let's try it!

The Joy of Eating Porridge

When you are sick, do you eat chicken noodle soup? If you do, you are most likely not Chinese. Chinese people eat porridge when they are sick. This is our "comfort food." I'm not sure what Western porridge is made of, but Chinese porridge is just rice and water. You simmer one part rice to about five parts water and end up with this:

Tsohk = Porridge = Yum!

It's bland, sure, but that's the beauty of it. Now, porridge can be prepared with all sorts of stuff in it, like beef, seafood (teng tsai, which means "little boat"), roast duck with thousand year old egg*, anything you want! But, when little Chinese children (hereinafter, "Chinettes") are sick, their parents cook "white porridge" (bak tsohk) for them. That's just plain porridge with nothing in it. Okay, they'll add a little salt to give it some flavor. Okay, okay, you beat it out of me. They might add a little bit of ground beef and chopped onions, too. If the Chinettes are good.

Anyhow, that's what I like to eat when I'm sick. But, I like to eat tsohk even when I'm not sick! Surprised? Well, I like to eat bak tsohk when there are good accompaniments to be had. Now, look at what I packed for my lunch tomorrow to go with the bak tsohk that I bought for only $1 today:

Bamboo shoots with chili oil
Gluten with peanuts
咖哩齋鮑魚 trans: Curry Cha'i Pow Yu, a.k.a. Braised Gluten (Seitan Tidbits)**
四川辣腐乳 trans: Szechuan Brand Fermented Bean Curd (chunk) in Dressing with Chili***

But, here's the piece de resistance: Wah Toh's Homemade Fried Silver Fish. I received this in the mail last week, along with two Ding Dong towels. I wanted to open that thing up and eat the whole jar. But, no, I showed some self restraint and made preparations. I visited the newly opened Chinese market**** and bought all that stuff listed above just so that I could have some accompaniments for this little slice of heaven. So, add a humungous apple from 3-fish, and I am all set for tomorrow!


*Okay, if you want the skinny on the thousand year old egg, then read this. Look at how beautiful it is! Yeah, the whites (that have now turned a transparent coffee color) has the texture of Jell-o, and the yolk has a creamy texture and tastes like fermented salt. Don't knock it till you try it.

**Good grief. Isn't that the most useless translation you've ever seen? Here's the real poop: It's fake abalone in curry sauce.

***HAHHAHAHAHAA!!! OMG, okay, whenever I buy this stuff, I only look at the Chinese. I never really looked at the English translation until now, and you know what? I never thought of the liquid inside the jar as a "dressing!" Not sure why, but that is just hilarious to me! I actually had some trouble trying to open that jar (I had to heat the lid and tap it and really add some elbow grease). But, I didn't ask Mr. Nonny Nu to help me open it because he would completely freak out if he saw what it was. Yeah, that's why I thought I'd just keep it to myself. *crinkles nose* *nods*

****Look what you can do with some instant noodles, romaine lettuce, Chinese beef balls, and a microwave at work. I got so many of my childhood favorites!

One Year Later

I love you so much, Sushi. It just breaks my heart to remember all of the wonderful times we had together, and all the times you comforted me when I couldn't rely on anybody. But you were there, and you were always there for me. You are a special kitty, and I don't think I'll ever find a kitty like you.

Oh, noes!

Well, it finally happened, folks. Dolly got a small ding on the driver's door. It wasn't me! Someone did it to her. It's not too bad, though. It's really a very small dent that you can only see if the light strikes her just right and your line of vision has to be almost parallel with the surface of the door to see it. But, still...

Oh, gross!!

Remember when we last talked about restroom stalls? Freelance Midget recently sent me an article about them. It's SOOOOO GROSS!!! Here it is. Apparently, my favorite "near last" stall at the office isn't so great since it's used more often than the first stall. But, that first stall is just too "exposed" for my tastes. I mean, nobody can see me in there, but still. It's the first one! I just can't do it. I just can't!

Is it so wrong?

Okay, folks, I have a confession to make. I have very little experience dancing. In fact, I would categorize myself in the "don't know how to dance" category. Sure, I have my little "moves" that I do around the house, but it's not really something that people should be exposed to. But, ever since I got the Richard Simmons DVDs, I think I've really improved! I am now proficient at the Cha Cha. I can do the stir and the rumble. I am okay at doing the X's. So, here's the question I have for you: Is it so wrong to learn to dance from Richard Simmons?? I think I look pretty good.