Treking to the Land of Swallows, pt. 1by Cl. Panic, esteemed guest blogger

The wonderful folks at Nu Nu & Nu, LLP were kind enough to turn me loose on a court-ordered and long-ago booked vacation to place known by the ancient Mayans as the "land of swallows" and to SCUBA divers as "heaven" -- Cozumel, Mexico.

So I grabbed my now-mandated passport, and boarded a flight to DFW where a 13 hour layover awaited. Now, it goes without saying that DFW is definitely not heaven. But if you're ever stuck at DFW, though, I highly recommend the Hyatt Grand. The bed was quite comfortable, and the sheets woven from unicorn down. It was a bit eerie waking up the next morning and looking out my window to find a generally sleepy airport. Kinda cool really--the calm before the storm. Anyway, it was clean sailing from the hotel room to jetbridge.

Okay, back to my travels. Since Nu Nu & Nu spoils me on business travel*, I've turned into a bit of a snob. That's right, get me a ticket to cut in line at security and sit right up front next to the air marshal! Travel tip: make nice with the flight attendant, and you might just put yourself one step closer to an all inclusive vacation.

Fast forward a few hours, a chicken salad and fresh baked cookie, and I'm in Cozumel. Not enough time left to dive today, but in my evening tour of the resort, I found some rather interesting graffiti.

The best part about vacation so far? I'm back in my good old Rainbows®!

* Just kidding. Nu Nu & Nu insists on coach class and refuses to reimburse for alcohol. Who can work under such conditions?
** Sorry for any weird linked photo issues, I've need NN to show me how she does it to bypass the evil filters she's installed on the corporate network.

Blog Record: 29 Comments in One Day!

Hi, everyone! We set a blog record yesterday with 29 comments in one day!!

Plus, we got our first official commenting visitor (i.e., someone who came to this blog on accident and not because I told them about it)! Oh, wait, there were a couple of other unknown visitors from before, but they didn't quite make any sense.

This is becoming just like a real blog!

Should Nonny Nu Include Face Shots on The Blog?

Hello, readers,

A few people have expressed frustration that I do not include face shots of people on the blog. I do this for privacy purposes. In this day and age of stalking and hacking and whatnot, it just feels uncomfortable to me to put anyone's face on the Internet. What do you think? Should I change that policy? Should I allow those who wish to reveal themselves do so?

Your humble servant,
The Nonny Nu

Care for Some Crazy With That?by Freelance Midget (guest blogger)

[Before I begin, I have to tell you. If you don't click on the links, you're missing out]

I live with a sociopath. A bona fide sociopath/borderline psychopath. And no, I'm not being flippant using these terms. I actually took the time to look them up on Wikipedia, the Mecca of the Information World, because I had an inkling that for once in my life, when I called someone a pyscho (or a socio), I just might be right. Of course I was. See below.

Sociopath (n.): also known as Antisocial personality disorder (abbreviated APD or ASPD) is a psychiatric diagnosis in the DSM-IV-TR recognizable by the disordered individual's disregard for social rules and norms, impulsive behavior, and indifference to the rights and feelings of others.

Am I being dramatic? No. I'm educational. Also, I'm no longer bored at work, so you can't accuse me of dreaming up drama to supplement my otherwise boring existence. I've been paddling around in my colorful Excel waters lately, and so very happy to have returned to my rightful analyst-monkey, number-crunching environment. Anyway...

The incident I'm about to relate is simply number infinity in a list of infinity+1 unpleasant and unexplainable happenings at my cozy cottage. I come home last night at 10 pm, and what do I see? The living room, almost exactly as it was one week ago. This wouldn't be strange in most cases except for the fact that my roommate coincidentally disappeared a week ago, and in that time period that she was gone, I bought a new, green chair for the living room. Still not following? Ok:

To make space for the new chair, I moved the existing (red) chair (OMG it's Christmas, yes I know) to the left side of the couch. [Tell me if I've committed genocide or something along the way, and I'll rest my case] Alright, in media res, I walk in my front door and see this:

In case you can't identify my new chair by my Da Vinci quality Paint rendition. I'll tell you in words: it was shoved into a corner facing the wall and sort of crumpled up (ok, I admit - I didn't BUY the chair, per se, it was a folding lawn chair I got from work for doing good deeds). At this point, I just laugh to myself "Chuckle, chuckle...what a crazy." But when I walk upstairs and find the laundry I had hung up to dry that very morning, strewn about the floor - I almost went outside and keyed her car. Honestly, I'm surprised she didn't stomp all over my clothes with her offensive Ugg boots (this is an entire blog post unto itself by the way - Ugg boots and Seven jeans, just you wait) and then draw a pentagram on my door. Ok, sure, maybe the (indoor) wind blew my laundry down, but you're wrong. Dead wrong. I live with Norman Bates' inbred cousin, SS Sociopath.

This is a girl who pays double rent not only because she's driven away all her previous roommates, and now no one will take the 3rd bedroom in our house, but also because she is incapable of sharing space with other humans and mammals - probably even insects. This is a girl who doesn't have "Hello" or "Hi" in her vocabulary, and instead has **Grunt Grunt** and *Evil Eye Lip Snarl** as the building blocks of her lexicon. Ironically enough, this is also a girl that leaves her door open until I arrive home, and as I WALK BY her door, I hear her locking the door. What am I gonna do? Charge in with my burly shoulders, and pillage her pitiful belongings? As if. I swear it's not just me either; any and every person who has ever been at my house when she walks in the door will attest to feeling as if Satan's minion has entered the room. You freeze, stop breathing, don't blink, and hope to God the demon will maybe not suck out your soul. I bet you're probably thinking, "Maybe she's had a hard life. Maybe she's an orphan." Yeah, maybe my ass. This girl is a Taco Bell University grad like me, who just got into Harvard, Stanford, NYU, and Columbia law schools, and she works at Google. This Google argument is probably my strongest point.

How can anyone work at Google, and be an asshole? It's like getting to go back to kindergarten. Free food, free bus, free laundry, free playground, free nap time, free massages, free WHATEVER you want. Short of free sex (and I'd argue that technically they DO provide you with that*), I can't think of anything that Google, the Almighty Giver, doesn't provide its workers. So for those of you who were about to say, "She just needs some ass." Can it. This should be the happiest place on Earth, and she should be happier than Donald Duck on No Pants Day**.

Anyway, even though my first urge was to out-PA her in her PA games (passive aggressive for those of you who can't keep up with the conversation), I decided to bust out some UN-quality skills and gather up the courage to knock on her door. I'll be completely truthful, I was almost scared shitless the second before my knuckles grazed her door. Who knows what would could have happened if the angry beast was disturbed. But wait...I fretted and feared for nothing. I forget, and you forget, that we're dealing with a crazy here; and crazy, didn't feel like interacting with another human. I could HEAR her shuffling around, opening drawers, changing TV channels, casting voodoo spells...but no, I knock three different times, in successively louder thumpings and I get nothin'. No-thing. I'm going to set a rattlesnake loose in her room some day. Probably tonight. I'll tell you a little secret: when she disappears for days at a time, I secretly hope that she's just in her room - dead and rigor mortised to her tiny, little twin bed.

Anyway, this brings me to *drumroll please*:

Top 10 Demises for SS Sociopath That Will Make My Year

10. A zombie from 28 Days Later will zombie her face off (if you haven't seen this movie, you should).

9. She chokes on some Google cafeteria ahi tuna marinated in a soy-miso demi-glaze.

8. The Google bus will run her over.

7. She will underbake one of her gazillion batches of cookies (not one has she ever offered me, by the way) and die of salmonella poisoning.

6. A zombie from 28 Weeks Later will zombie her face off while I enjoy my Icee.

5. She just dies.

4. She joins a Greenpeace unit and a whale eats her.

3. She goes to Harvard, gets kicked out for failing, realizes she's a despicable human being, and then dies of shame.

2. She dies of dryer lint inhalation because she NEVER CLEANS OUT THE LINT. No, I'm not upset.

1. She dies while Googling eHarmony.com, while the TV plays To Catch A Lover on Lifetime.

Alright, I'm spent. See ya.

*Note: Helloooo company Christmas/July 4th/It's Tuesday! booze parties...booze up, goggles on, mission accomplished - even for tech geeks.

**Note(s): May 14, 2009

Does a bear shit in the woods?This and other life changing questions answered on today's...Journeys with Nonny Nu.

Oh, joyous day!! I know, it's Wednesday and I haven't posted a blog entry for my Saturday hike yet. Shame on me, but I've honestly been swamped with work (I even had to work on the weekend). I've already received complaint(s) from at least one person, which could possibly be Stillman. But, you know, nowadays, anything is possible.

Anyhow, as I was saying, oh, joyous day!! Stillman and I were graced with Mr. Nonny Nu's presence on Sunday when we visited Memorial Park. (I played sherpa to Mr. Nonny Nu.) I was very excited to go on this hike because I skipped last weekend (due to the recent No Hiking By Yourself Decree that was seconded by several readers *roll eyes*). I even printed out color packets of information, including a description of the hike and the map but there were no takers.

On that beautiful foggy morning, we set off on the Memorial Park Trail. It was inadvertantly apropos, since the park is dedicated to the veterans of WWI. We started off on a fire road, which was wide enough for all three of us.

We three stood at attention as the Banana Slugs Memorial Day Parade passed before us. (Okay, the previous sentence is most certainly true if you take into consideration Einstein's Theory of Relativity.) It was a dewey morning, so it's no wonder that we had a great turn out of banana slugs. Boy, was it dewey! Just look at all that dew! (Happy now, Stillman? SHEESH!)

It was a beautiful day, with much opportunity for contemplation. Soon, the fire road narrowed and the trail became sketchy. I thought, "Where's the trail?" So, I kept looking at the map and hike description to make sure we weren't lost. As we went deeper and deeper into the woods, we saw all sorts of stuff. We saw artsy fartsy trees, and Christmas trees. There were trees with vines running through them, and twisty trees. There was also a freaky tree that had like fifty branches coming out of it.

But, we didn't just see trees, we also saw flowers. There were ferns that I had never seen before. There were wild lilacs and white wild flowers. We saw a gigantic mushroom attached to a tree, and a lot of blackberry bushes. Stillman gave the go ahead, so I ate a blackberry.

I started hallucinating and thought that centipedes were crawling all over me.

Okay, I'm just kidding. The blackberry was delicious. As you can see, there were several blackberries available for consumption, but I was only offered ONE. That is why I laughed long and hard when Stillman got slimed by some mysterious foam that was all over the plants. But, then, my comeuppance was mercilessly handed to me when I got wacked with an errant thorn whip. Okay, so maybe that isn't the proper name of that plant, but that is in fact how it worked. Just look at how overgrown this trail is! Since I was wearing shorts, I ate it pretty bad. My leg was tingly all over, like the thorns had burrowed into my muscle and was squirming around. Dr. Stillman then administered some Claritin and told me to not scratch at it. It worked! Because after 48 hours of feeling like I was carrying a pissed off porcupine inside my leg, I'm all better now.

Soon enough, we started to ascend Mt. Ellen. Along the way, the trail widened and we passed some very Shire-looking panorama. Finally, we got to the top, and all we had to show for it was a wooden sign. So, we headed down the hill and back to our starting point.

I paid attention during the hike and I can tell you with 100% accuracy that, no, a bear does not shit in the woods. Well, at least this one didn't.

You Don't Even Wanna Knowby Freelance Midget (guest blogger)

I have a fear of public bathrooms. A deep, (possibly) irrational fear of dirty, dirty public bathrooms. I'm sure, like me, most of you find gas station bathrooms "gross" and "disgusting" - but I have recurring nightmares about being in public bathrooms. Do you? Yeah, I didn't think so. Rusty Kohler plumbing fixtures don't haunt your cotton candy dreams.

Oh, and when I say recurring, I'm talking like once every week. At the least. Just imagine being stuck in some third world bathroom stall, half asleep (or drunk) and accidentally grazing every possible hepatitis-infested, Ebola-harboring surface in there. Crazy dream? Sure. I also had a crazy dream last night (on top of the vile bathroom stall dream) that I was mad at one of my gay male friends, CKB*, because he bought the Miu Miu bag I wanted AND had a Gucci bag the size of a large pig to boot. Me crazy? Probably.

You know what I'll tell you though that IS crazy, but is NOT a dream. My childhood best friend is (casually) dating Mr. Die Hard himself. That's right. Bruce Willis. I'm not making this shit up. Now I'm not saying I wouldn't make out with a 52-year old celebrity, I'm just saying that I wouldn't make out with a 52-year old celebrity. Ok, ok...Maggie, I'm just giving you a hard time :) Hook me up with Orlando Bloom and I promise I will never make jokes about your avuncular passions again. Yeah, that's right. I said avuncular. Look it up.

So what does this mean that I dream about bathrooms so often? It's not like I'm a germaphobe. I'll share toothbrushes, ice cream cones, half-eaten sandwiches. I mean, you might even catch me rescuing something from the floor as long as there isn't woolly mammoth hair stuck to it. Aaaaand, this brings me to random digression #1.

Most people in life would probably rescue a Cheez-it off the floor if it falls within the 5 second rule, right? If you're reading this blog, and I know you, I bet you would - you know who you are. But how many of you would rescue an old Cheeto off the floor when in the back of your mind, you weren't even sure it was a Cheeto? The answer happens to be one; and that answer happens to look like this. This former roommate of mine somehow mistook a used earplug for a runaway Cheeto. Now I know that maybe, MAYBE in Pangloss-world, residual earwax could fake you out for Cheeto dust, but...really? I mean, once I thought that the coolest kid in 8th grade was waving at me across a crowd, and I waved back, and then realized she was waving at the 2nd coolest kid in 8th grade standing behind me, but...really? I'll leave this issue to the readers: Cheeto-like, or not Cheeto-like?

I still haven't solved the mystery of my dirty-el-bano-phobia. I'm going to take a bold step here: in my vast knowledge of psychology, I daresay this is my mother's fault. She, in turn, can blame it on her germ-tastic phobic sisters (you know who you are). I think when I was a small child, the fear of God and dirty toilets was instilled in me. On the one hand, I have the Christian virtues of guilt and cleanliness. On the other, I still can't bring myself to touch anything in a public bathroom without the aid of latex gloves, and 20-something odd years later, the porcelain god runs a junta on my dreams. Digression #2: check out www.quizlet.com - that's how I learn cool words like junta, and excrescent. Ugh, that even sounds like excrement. Look it up**.


* Note: CKB is an ex-runway model for Gucci.
**Note(s): 50 points this time for those of you who get this reference.

Karmic Retribution/Check out these HANDSby Freelance Midget (guest blogger)

I got curious this morning, so I took my flashy flats for a test drive today. Somehow, I am being punished for exploiting Nordstrom's liberal return policy as my feet are now (feeling like) what you would call bloody stumps. But whateva, whateva, I do what I want! (Ten points to any of you who can name that reference). I'll get my last laugh, after I hobble up to the shoe department, and give them back their Tin Man cobblery.

By the way, thanks to all the readers who threw in their 2 cents about my purchases.

Well, tally ho and on we go. Today's new quest has been to research octopi as pets. For those of you who didn't pay attention in Latin class (Ecce Romani! Flavia habitat in villa vicina*), octopi is more than one octopus. Sadly for me, you can only house one octopus in a tank at a time. Otherwise you get a Survivor-style match in your precious salt water aquarium, and somebody, has to die. Come to think of it, this may not be "sadly for me." I could take bets on my dueling octopi; maybe even start my own .tv series or YouTube it and become as famous as the Wannabe Jedi or Banana Hands Kids. Oh, the glory. I'd have to be somewhat discreet though, or I could have PETA on my ass, and god knows I can't live without my meat, or my ermine coat, and baby sealskin shoes...

Actually, that was a pretty ugly seal baby. No remorse here. JUST KIDDING. I love me some baby animals.

Ah! Something new at work: whitewater rafting, corporate style. At first I was excited, "White water rafting? I'm adventurous. Yes!" then I was...not so excited. I'm not sure if I'm in the minority, but I have a deep-seated fear of corporate events. Maybe it's because I don't like awkward schmoozing over booze - or in this case, awkward schmoozing while the old guy next to me wears his aqua socks (eightieeeeees) and soaking wet Hanes tee; or maybe it's because I still think of these things as having to talk to "adults." I have a sneaking suspicion that these feelings never really go away though, even when you're 38. Maybe when you're 55 and lit up with a martini in your hand, that feeling shrivels up and dies...especially when you're slurring out your next quasi-inappropriate joke to a quivering analyst.

The last time I attended a corporate event, walking through the booze party was akin to running the gauntlet. I tallied up 4 awkward encounters within 10 minutes, all within a 50 foot radius. It's charming to watch a partner at your firm run over a gaggle of analysts in order to belly up to the bar and shout "Grey Goose...on the rocks." [Sly smirk included, other restrictions apply]

Now that I'm on the subject of work, I sometimes play celebrity look-a-like while I'm bored (yes, so very rarely...). I haven't gotten too far in this endeavor but so far I'm proud to say I work with Will Ferrell (JS) and Will Ferrell's miniature offspring (GS) and Ben Kingsley (JJ). There is some peripheral debate, that in actuality, we have a Jeremy Irons on our hands. I most definitely don't agree. I do however believe that the vote is unanimous that the aforementioned partner is the true-life inspiration for Ralph Wiggum, from the Simpsons.

*Note: I might have made up this preposition here, but I'm too lazy to reconfirm with Google or Facebook.

A Revolution, Complete with Monkeys - and Experimental Economicsby Freelance Midget (guest blogger)

It's been an uneventful week slash weekend. Not to be misleading; I did many things - yet...not. Oh, and some waitress from Olive Garden backed into my car while we were both in the right turn lane at an intersection (what??). Anyway, I digress. I think this air of looming dissatisfaction stems from my under utilization at work. For those of you unfamiliar with "utilization" at a firm that bills by the hour, it basically means I'm staffed on projects, yet have nothing to do, therefore, have nothing to bill. I have even offered to freelance my analyst skills in the office - no takers. Thank God, for NN. She's paying me by the word, you know. I'm going to jack up my prices next post.

Not to be entirely discouraged by my lack of projects lately, I have perfected my online shopping skills. I am now intimately acquainted with Neiman, Nordstrom, and DVF. Unfortunately, I suffer from buyer's remorse, frequently. Maybe I'll have a voting forum, consisting of Nonny Nu's dedicated readership, that will help me decide which purchases to keep and which to send away. The tally so far: dress, red flats , flashy flats, and a trench coat. Readers, weigh in.

Not to tarnish my intellectual reputation or anything, I've done slightly more than shop this past week. I've put together backup for 2 expert reports...and, oh, wait. Anyway, like NN, I have rearranged my office. More specifically, I've thrown a coup d'etat.

I share an office with 2 other analysts (both senior to me), and until this past week, I was confined to a small IKEA quality desk that was something like 6 feet off the ground; AND, my back was directly in front of the door. The eldest analyst, occupied 2/3 of the office while Carol and I shared the remaining 1/3.

In one beautifually executed sweep, I managed to shimmy my way away from the door (somewhat), erected a bookcase to block me from the glass panels by the door, take control of a real desk, annexed my rightful 1/3, and Balancing (Curious) George now stands guard at the door. Not only was this satisfying, it was an interesting case study in behavioral economics, more specifically, people's perceptions of the status quo in relation to equality. Confused? Let me explain.

Carol is #2 in our office (I am #3 - Yoda, obviously being in Numero Uno place). Pre-coup (or "PC"), she was semi-content with her small space near the door adjacent to mine. We shared a trash can and a shred bin, and she even managed to acquire a bookshelf for herself. All seemed well in Analyst Land. That is, until the seeds of discontent began to sprout in my heart. I decided 1/2 of 1/3 wasn't enough for me. I should get my OWN trash can - maybe even my OWN shred bin. So I plotted*.

Now that my plan was set in motion, my nascent territory was maturing, a spark of discontent flared in the heart of Carol. Dark thoughts grew and festered. She imagined wrongdoing and injustice, poverty, and cruelty to animals...ok, maybe not that. Anyhow, she fought her way into my territory, and negotiated a creep into Yoda's. "I must be able to swivel freely in my chair. FREEDOMMMMMM!" she proclaimed. In any case, she perceived that other's situations were improving (even Yoda acquired a new cabinet and a better proximity to the corner plant), and suddenly, the status quo - which for 2 years had been satisfactory - suddenly was not. Very interesting indeed.

Sadly, now that I have established my fiefdom between my neighboring analysts...I am still bored out of my g.d. mind. I'm sure the family will be glad to hear this: I am so bored, I am thinking about applying to law school this fall. [Disclaimer: this is fleeting, and in no way legally binding, and may be recalled at any moment]

Oh, well this is exciting news: my sister has graduated from her Master of Teaching program and has accepted her first full-time job offer - teaching 2nd graders. I personally cannot imagine teaching a roomful of smelly, lice-infested children (some of which will stab you in the leg with a pencil, I'm told) who can't read or write. But I'm glad someone can. I think we should start an online contribution fund for her. I think this is appalling but teachers are forced to buy their own school supplies: books, paper, art supplies, classroom supplies, pencils, chalk, etc. This adds up to hundreds of dollars each semester, and although that may not be more than your Tumi briefcase, that's a big chunk of change for a teacher's salary. As much as I dislike teaching under-performing kids, I think the US public education system is pretty horrific. I guess I could put in a Vote for Hillary bit here since she just unveiled her universal pre-K initiative but I'm politically ignorant, and quasi-apathetic, so I'll leave it at that. Side note: even though I'm politically confused about the next election, one thing I do know - I should've gotten a recommendation from the Senator when I was working for her. Damn.

If you're still bored and have nothing else to read, check out Sugar, the Wonder Dog on YouTube <<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRlOWm1K9Aw>>.

Note: By plotted, I mean I asked Yoda if I could annex some territory, and then I called facilities to rearrange the furniture.

Should Nonny Nu be Prohibited from Hiking By Her Lonesome?

Hi, folks! I am sure you all noticed that there was no hiking blog this past weekend. Even though I had both days off (I've started to go grocery shopping during the week instead of on the weekends), I didn't go hiking. Mr. Nonny Nu forbade me from hiking by myself. Since he got sick off of KFC soy chicken and Stillman pulled a muscle, there was nobody to chaperone. But, I've gone hiking a couple times by myself already and have always come back in one piece. No mountain lion scratches, nothing. So, do you all think I should be forbidden from hiking by my lonesome? Or, do you think my happiness should hinge on the availability of others?

Vera (updated 09/06)

So, I'm growing all sorts of stuff in my office, including cacti. Like the NBA playoff schedule, I'll try to update this blog entry often with pictures of my dear Vera. The current day's photo will be the one shown on the blog. The older photos will be linked. You will also find a link to this blog entry in the left hand menu entitled "What's Growing in Nonny Nu's Office?"

I was really unsure about this one. Like with the roses, I wasn't optimistic about Vera. She hasn't really been growing "fatter" much for the past, um, well, let's see...three years. Yep, that's right. She just kept growing tall and falling over instead of growing stouter. But, she didn't give up! She's a toughie.

Sept. 6 Update:Here's Vera and her roommate. She's growing up tall and strong.



July 6: Yep, Vera's doing just fine.
June 1: Still going strong!
May 21: Look at the two new nubs, one near the base and the other near the center of the plant! Repotting with new soil and adding plant food really helped. I'm learning! I hope she gains some weight.

All Moved In

So, I moved out of my old office last Friday, but couldn't move into my new office because the guy who was occupying my new office was "busy" and "didn't have time to move out" on Friday. I was finally able to move in this morning. I have put a lot of thought into the floor plan. As you all know, my office is somewhat challenging due to the evil column that is right smack dab in the middle of the outside wall. But, I vowed to make it work, a la Tim Gunn, and I think I did!

Here's what my new office looks like. As you can see, the column splits the office in two. The prior occupants have had trouble utilizing the entire area of the office. But, I wanted to integrate the column into the floor plan instead of trying to avoid it and end up like my predecessors. So, here is my solution (for now). I have ordered a black futon couch that will be located in this little nook here. When it arrives I'll swap out the writing desk and put it in the nook. As you can see, I have cleared an entire blank wall. Mr. Nonny Nu, you have to start helping me figure out which painting we can put on that wall. How about that one with the hell fire and torture?

Anywhoo, for now, I do a portion of my work on the writing desk. The other times, I sit here. This is what I see at my desk.

The plants are going to do just fine. This side of the building really does get some pretty good morning sun. Stubbie also likes his new location. He gets to see people all the time as they walk down the hall.

Screwed over, ONCE AGAIN...

I regret to inform you that the PHOENIX SUNS have lost to the DIRTY, ROTTEN BASTARDS San Antonio Spurs. It's really true. I saw it with my own two eyeballs. The San Antonio Spurs have won!* So, whoever said that cheaters don't win is dead wrong.

We have suffered quite a few injustices this week. It all started with Goldie (real name "Courtney") being kicked off of Flavor of Love: Charm School because *drumroll please* she didn't get into arguments! Then, Melinda Doolittle got voted off American Idol. Now this. What is this world coming to? Am I going to have to root for the Jazz, who some have referred to as "The Utah Momos"?? I really never thought I'd have to stoop so low, but maybe that is the ticket. I don't know. Will it hurt San Antonio to win the Western Conference title and then lose the Championship? Or, will it hurt them more if they didn't even win the Western Conference title? These are all questions that I am juggling at this point in my life.

Suns, boy did we get screwed. I'm proud of you guys, though, especially Bell (he's cute!). No, I'm kidding. I'm REALLY proud of Nash. Sure, some say he could have played better and that the Spurs shut him out completely, but give the guy a break. Did you see the bruise on his left leg? He's taken a beating, much more severe than anything any NBA player should have to take. After all, this is not ghetto ball we're playing. In some sense, it would've been easier to play ghetto ball if everyone was playing that. But, when you have a team that shoves players into the scorers' table, or kicks players in the nuts, and they aren't treated in the same way, how exactly is that special kind of evil to be defeated?

Now, it is late, and I have many orange tears to cry into my purple pillow...

* This big red asterisk will FOREVER hover over all references of the Spurs' win.

Goings on at the ranch...

Tonight is the big game and the Nus are all ready for it. Mr. Nonny Nu's Friday night apparel will include this shirt. And, as some of you may know, Nonny Nu has her game face on ALREADY with her awesome T-shirt and her awesome bracelet.

Go PHOENIX !!

Also, we are moving today at Nu Nu & Nu, LLP, so I will soon be ensconced in my new cubby hole. I have a new idea and will debut it on the blog as soon as I have all my ducks in a row.

Finally, I do the grocery shopping at home and wanted to give Mr. Nonny Nu more input into what I buy, so I put a notepad on the refrigerator. Look at the first entry.

I have nothing to say today. (nm)

Roses (updated 09/28)

So, I'm growing all sorts of stuff in my office, including roses (!). Like the NBA playoff schedule, I'll try to update this blog entry often with pictures of the roses. The current day's photo will be the one shown on the blog. The older photos will be linked. You will also find a link to this blog entry in the left hand menu entitled "What's Growing in Nonny Nu's Office?"

Everyone is aware of the tragedy that usually befalls roses that enter my office (those purple ones didn't last). That's why I didn't include these yellow roses (you can't tell because their blooms are gone) in the "What's Growing in Nonny Nu's Office?" list at first. I just figured that the blooms would wither and die, and the entire plant would follow. But, check this out! I watered faithfully and put her in the sun. Now, there's new growth!


Sept. 28 Update: Bloom's over, but there is much new growth (all the lime green areas). I'm thinking of relocating the these gals into a larger pot.


Sept. 6: Well, it has been two months since my last confession update. I missed the last blooming roses because I was out of the office during MonkeyPig's visit to HQ. But, here they are blooming once again!
July 17: Folks, this is a miracle. This is a MIRACLE, I tell you. Not only is this thing NOT dead, it's blooming. BLOOMING!
June 6 (a), June 6 (b): Dudes, check out the bud that's growing on my ROSES!!!! I can't believe it. I just can't. After having killed about 3 of these things, I just didn't think it could be done. Roses in my office. Can you beat that?!
June 28: New development...there was some white powder on the leaves. I can't tell if it's dust or if it's some sort of growth. What do you guys think?
June 1: No actual roses yet, but this is the longest living rose plant I've had in my office.
May 21:More growth!
May 15: The light green portions are new growth.

DIRTY, ROTTEN BASTARDS !!!

See those guys to the left? Those are some DIRTY, ROTTEN BASTARDS!! It's the last minute of the PHOENIX-San Antonio game. Nash is bringing it in, he's running along the sideline, Horry slams him right into the announcers' table. BODY CHECKS HIM. I watched this in real time and I could NOT believe my eyes. Of course, the PHOENIX bench heads onto the court. Raja Bell (he's cute!) gets in Horry's face and Horry tried to elbow Raja in the neck. A couple games ago, Amare Stoudamire made a comment that the Spurs play dirty. I was sorta iffy on that, because I haven't really been watching the Spurs this season. But after tonight, there is NO DOUBT that the Spurs are some DIRTY, ROTTEN BASTARDS.

Good job, Suns!

104 98 -- PHOENIX.

P.S. Dudes, I really hope the NBA accepts that Amare and Diaw were going in to check in. If not, and they get suspended for the next game, I don't know what I'm going to do.

[EDIT] People are NOT happy about this situation: read this.

Suns-Spurs injuries here.

And, I can't believe Nash didn't win MVP. Nowitzki??? Blech. Watch this folks:

And this:

But, Nash is most famous for his passes. In this last season of college basketball, the kids seemed to be imitating Nash's passes. It helps that he's ambidexterous and has those crazy wide set eyes that look in separate directions, too. Here's Nash talking about his passes:

I leave you with this:Nash's Top 10 Plays of 2006...

What's Growing in Nonny Nu's Office?

Click this to see everything that is growing in Nonny Nu's office.

Stood Up at Castle Rock

I wasn't able to go hiking last week because I had to work, so I was really looking forward to going this weekend. Unfortunately, Stillman emailed me and said she couldn't go because she pulled a muscle, so I thought I'd take Mr. Nonny Nu instead. When I presented this to Mr. Nonny Nu, he agreed to go. Well, Saturday morning rolled around and Mr. Nonny Nu was too busy being a sour puss to hike. So, I just went by myself. I wanted to conquer Castle Rock anyway, since it scared me half to death the last time I was there. Don't laugh--I'm not crazy for thinking that.

I haven't ran in a week and also missed hiking last weekend, so I went with a healthier menu today.

Although Castle Rock doesn't allow dogs, they apparently allow other pets. I might bring Stubbie some time.

You all aren't strangers to Castle Rock, so you've seen that it's basically half shady tree hike and half death-defying cliff trotting hike. The shady tree part is called the Ridge Trail and the cliff part is called Saratoga Gap Trail. This week, I went backward, taking the Saratoga Gap Trail first, then looping back on the Ridge Trail. Before getting to SGT, however, I went through some shady tree areas. But first, I took the detour to see the Castle Rock. I figured that I should see it at the beginning of the hike in case I die later on during the hike.

I thought I had seen it last week, but what I saw wasn't Castle Rock. This is Castle Rock. Someone was climbing it, but he had a helper. I looked around and saw that there were people practicing their techniques on smaller rocks. I thought I'd give it a try. I just jumped onto the Castle Rock and started scaling it. After about 20 minutes of this, some of the climbers I saw before came by to check on my progress.

So, with that bit of encouragement, I returned to the hike. Hey, did you know that, at Castle Rock, the park rangers actually walk the trails and pick up trash? I met one of these guys. He had walked all morning and only found this much trash. Must not be a lot of litering going on around here. Okay, so I finally get to the Ridge Trail. At the beginning, it was lined with beautiful, mossy manzanitas, and yellow, red, purple, and white wild flowers. There were also some other yellow wild flowers that looked like bananas. Of course, I finally got a couple shots of the swaths of wild irises I told you about a couple weeks ago (swath #1, swath #2). All throughout my hike on Saratoga Gap Trail, there were hordes of industrious butterflies working on these flowers, and one let me get so close that I could see its fur. There was also a lone bumble bee who didn't seem bothered by my presence.

Soon enough, I got to the point in the Saratoga Gap Trail that (I think) gave the trail its name. As I trudged along, I came across some poop from a carnivore. (Yep, that's right, I spent some image memory on this one so that I didn't have to resize the image or crop anything out--I wanted you to see the detail in this very important picture.) Now, when our guest blogger MonkeyPig was in the Everglades, she regaled us with some alleged alligator poop. At the time, I was not buying the whole "this is gator poop" story, since there weren't any feathers or fur in the poop. After extensive debate, we concluded that the only thing we knew about the poop was that it wasn't MonkeyPig's.

Anyhow, when I finished the hairy poop analysis, I continued on my hike and, lo and behold, a really cute jack rabbit came running across the path. Then, I arrived at the treacherous part of the hike where I only had a narrow ledge to walk along. Some places were so treacherous that there were metal cables attached to the rock so that we could hang on for dear life.

So, that was the very end of the Saratoga Gap Trail. I finally made it to the Ridge Trail, which was a whole lot calmer. I thought I'd reward myself with a snack. There weren't any trash cans in the park, so I left the baggie out in plain sight so that the park ranger would quickly spot it on his trash picking strolls through the trail. I'm kidding! I can already hear Stillman thinking, "NO!!! Take your trash with you!!," which I did. So, you all saw the rest of the Ridge Trail from the last time I was at Castle Rock, so I won't bore you with more photos. But, I do have an interesting one that I didn't see because I was walking the other way last time (Ridge Trail first, then SG Trail). Going backward, today, I was able to see the trail from a different perspective. There was a rock that looked like a man's face in profile, so I named it Profile Rock.

Anyhow, I don't know if it was because I went backward on the trail loop this week and saw the cliffs from a different perspective, or I just got over the fear of falling to my death, but it wasn't as scary this time, and I'm kinda proud that I did it by myself.

Office Layout

Here's what the new office looks like right now:

Here's my first idea for reconfiguration:

Here's my second idea for reconfiguration:

I'm Moving!

We are building out the office and there will soon be a mad musical chairs routine going on where people are moved closer to their secretaries and what not. Offices have already been assigned. My current office is TOTALLY AWESOME. It's right near the back stairs so I can sneak in and out without being noticed. Yet, there are a lot of people who also take the back stairs so all my friends come by and say hello/goodbye when they come/go. Also, the plants really enjoy all the afternoon light that my side of the building gets. The only one who could use a change of scenery is Stubbie. He does get a bit toasty in the afternoons.

This morning, I went to check out my new office. Sadly, it's one of those offices where there's a column in the middle of the back wall. The window, which would have run the full length of the office is now split in two. Plus, since the column is sticking out two feet from the window (I just now borrowed a tape measure from one of the construction crew, snuck into the office, and measured it--YES, I'M STILL WORKING AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT), there may be furniture problems.

But, you know what? I'm going to make this work for me. There is definite potential in this office. Previous occupants have approached it with a defeatist, well-I-guess-I'm-stuck-with-this-crap-office attitude and have tried to work around the architecture of the place instead of embracing it and really incorporating its unique features into the whole floorplan. No, this shall not continue. I'm going to make this office the JEWEL of ##### XYZ Boulevard, Suit NNN, City, California, 9####. Just you wait and see.

Anyhow, as I said, I measured the new office. I will circulate a map of the office shortly and you guys can tell me your ideas on how to arrange the office. I hope I can fit in a little armchair area. I'm planning on using the column as a "gallery" area where I will hang a painting. Then, I will probably put Stubbie on the side of the column so that the column will give him some shade from the morning sun (that side of the office is rumored to have morning instead of afternoon sun, especially when the axis shifts in the winter time). Also, that side of the column is the same side as the door, so people can see Stubbie as they are walking by. See? It's already working out.

Okay, FINE!

A few days ago, during a moment of weakness, I actually solicited blog entry topics from you people. SHEESH! Talk about bad judgment on my part...

But, my very very dear husband--my heart, REALLY--answers my misguided and poorly thought through request.

So, what was this $35 get-rich-quick-scheme? Well, we have all seen these on college campuses. You know, the flyers, ends shredded so you could tear off the contact information, promising riches beyond your wildest dreams for doing absolutely nothing. Kinda like this one, minus the greenie message and plus the "send $35 cash and I'll tell you how to make $100 per hour" message.

This was back in the mid-90s when I was going to college and needed to make some dough. I held back for a long time. Really. I guesstimate that I saw the flyer and thought about it for about 20-30 seconds. I then decided I'd make what seemed to be a lucrative investment. Of course, we all know how this story ends, right? It wouldn't be like me to make decisions based on good judgment. Look at how we got to this topic, after all. So, long story short, I dutifully sent in my $35 cash and promptly received a binder encouraging me to basically post the same type of flyer and watch the money roll in.

Now, I bet that Mr. Nonny Nu is just DYING to tell you that I didn't get my money's worth. But, if you think about it, the flyer method ACTUALLY WORKS. Post flyers and watch the money roll in. Those were the instructions. Obviously, people DO send cash to others just because they saw a flyer. Therefore, joke's on you, Mr. Nonny Nu, joke's on you.

Come on, people. I simply do not believe that I'm the only one who has ever done this. Let's all be honest here. I 'fessed up about my $35 get-rich-quick scheme. Now, you tell me yours. Fair is fair.

Nonny Nu Trivia: Back in the day when I was tutoring for a living, I actually used the flyer method to advertise. It really worked! I was "The Low Cost Math Tutor," and my flyers were all different colors. I didn't charge the $100 per hour that would have fully realized the instructions I procured for the price of only $35, though.

My Trip to San Diego

Sorry, guys, but I haven’t updated the NBA bracket or my plant pictures today because I wasn’t in the office. Stubbie’s Godmother had to take care of him today as well as water the plants.

This morning, I got up BEFORE the crack of dawn to catch a flight to San Diego. I usually fly out of San Jose, but I had to fly out of San Francisco today because I had to make a meeting at 9am sharp. Anywho, before I was even awake, I was boarding the plane. To my pleasant surprise, United upgraded me for free to first class! I was super excited, but it turned out to be just okay.

Anyhow, I was too busy boning up on the meeting material to take any photos on my flight out, but now, I’m on my way home and the only thing I have to bone up for is tonight’s Game 2 of the series between PHOENIX and San Antonio. Since the middle of last week, I’ve been working like a dog (weekend included) and I am really looking forward to being home and relaxing with Sushi and the hemlock-resistant mister. Have you guys ever been so dog tired that you can’t wait to just get home and see your family for a few hours? I only have a hubby and a cat and am already this way. I don’t know how people with kids do it.

So, that’s why I’m sitting excitedly in the waiting area, reading and re-reading my ticket. I’m almost there! They’re boarding my flight now. Ah, here is my seat. Sure, it’s roomier, but it’s just a one and a half hour flight. People don’t really need a first class section on these flights. We take off and people start getting their drink on. No joke. Some dude and his chick sitting across the aisle are imbibing. GMAB already. (Ha! Word says that “GMAB already” is grammatically incorrect. Well, I’m keeping it as is. Take THAT, Bill Gates!)

Seeing as how I’m not some rich I-drink-wine/martinis-on-my-one-hour-flights-in-first-class stuffed shirt, I make myself useful and finish reviewing MonkeyPig’s contract. (Can you believe the quality of her fax?) After that, I took a little break and read an article about Ferrari and Lamborghini in the United Airlines Hemispheres magazine. Dudes, Lamborghini CEO Stefan Winkelmann is kinda cute! Here’s what they say about him in the magazine:

“Lamborghini S.p.A.’s striking CEO, Stefan Winkelmann, a convincingly romantic German (who has spent his life in Italy), encouraged us to drive with brio. You just know he’ll set the best example.” Ken Gross, “Dream Drives,” Hemispheres Magazine, May 2007, p. 61.

That's just like Mr. Nonny Nu! Except Mr. Nonny Nu doesn't have brown hair, isn't German, didn't grow up in Italy, doesn't head up Lamborghini, and doesn't set even a good example! But, that's it--everything else is exactly the same...

Oh, gotta go! We’re landing!

How to Use Apostrophes

I've customized my Google page and included a "How To of the Day" widget. Here's today's "How To". After reading that, you'll note that it was completely useless to me in that it said nothing of how to use an apostrophe to pluralize the _'s in the new linked text instructions. I suspect that I should've written "'_'s" instead of "_'s" if I were a "modern" person. But, I'm not, am I?

[edit] Check this out!! See? Someone DOES care! I asked.

[edit] I've updated the linked text instructions so that they no longer require the pluralization of _.

Are those instructions about linked text clear enough?

"Clear enough for what, Nonny Nu?," is what I'm guessing will be the immediate response. Well, clear enough for my Internet-challenged sisters to understand. So far, only three have shown up (guest blogger MonkeyPig, Ca Loc, and Wah Toh). The two in the middle (3fish, and [insert name here]*) have not shown up. 3fish at least checks her email somewhat regularly (although she is notorious for writing ESSAYS for responses). [insert name here]* doesn't even check her email (not really--once in 2-3 months doesn't really count). Instead, she uses a PAGER. Yeah, a PAGER. Can you believe this chick? That is so 80s.

*The reason why I don't have a name for her is because she actually doesn't have a nickname. Don't get me wrong, we call her all sorts of names, but just not anything that would fall under a "nickname" category.

Where in the World is Nonny San Diego?

Working, that's where! I have really neglected the blog as well as my running and hiking. Coach Nelson and Stillman are completely disappointed in me, I know. I spent Saturday and today working, which means that, if my internet stalker is true to his word of stalking only on Saturdays, he will work all day next Saturday as well.

But, you know what? My plants are really starting to sprout! At least I was here to see them take their first steps. Also, Stubbie didn't have to spend another weekend with nothing to eat.

So, what do you guys think? Is this blog going to die off? Or, is Nonny Nu going to hang on by a string and barely eek by?

Viola (updated 04/01)

So, I'm growing all sorts of stuff in my office, including African violets (present from Green Thumbs McGillicutty!). Like the NBA playoff schedule, I'll try to update this blog entry often with pictures of my dear Viola. The current day's photo will be the one shown on the blog. The older photos will be linked. You will also find a link to this blog entry in the left hand menu entitled "What's Growing in Nonny Nu's Office?"

Apr. 1 Update: After half a year of sleeping, Viola has finally awoken! Take a look at her now. She has three buds up front, but seven buds in the back!



Sept. 28: This is just the gift that keeps on giving. One died on the vine and didn't bloom, one already finished blooming and has been removed, and three more have yet to bloom. Plus the five you see here, and this batch totals 10!
Sept. 6: Viola's getting ready too bloom again (I count 7 currently).
July 17: Look at these beautiful blooms!
July 9 (a), July 9 (b): Three days later...bloom!!
July 6 (a), July 6 (b), July 6 (c): I have a good feeling about Viola. She's a good girl. She has been working on her blooms. Look, she has as few buns in the oven!
June 28: Look! The little nubs ARE new blooms!! (Pic 2, Pic 3)
June 18 (1) (Viola lost all her blooms (as is too be expected)...)June 18 (2) (but this might be a new bloom rearing its head.)
June 1: Well, Viola is losing her blooms one by one, but she's still a beauty and very healthy.
May 21: Seven blooms!
May 15: Six blooms!
May 10: Two new blooms.
May 9: What a pretty little girl! She's very happy here after escaping from the evil clutches of Green Thumbs McGillicutty.
May 7: New blooms.
May 6