Hair

One of the magazines that we subscribe to is GQ. I know that this is for guys, but I love this magazine. I really like the articles, but I love the "advice" columns and the new gadgets articles. A problem I've always had, though, is with the ads because there are so may fem models in them.

I was trolling the GQ site and saw that Edward Cullen was going to be on the cover of the April issue. (Have you read his wife's autobiography??) Normally, Mr. Nonny Nu reads the issue and then passes it along to me, but this month was different. I called dibs on it at the beginning of March. Since we were moving, I was really antsy that it would be misdirected. Anyhow, it arrived this week without a hiccup.

Now. Take a look at the Burberry ad on the back of the issue:

What is going on with the dude's hair?? I could barely contain my laughter around Zac Ephron's 'do. I mean, can a man get any prettier than that? But, that was until I saw the Burberry ad. That's some hair. Oh, cripes. I was just now trying to imagine what the hair looks like from the back. Yikes. Is there a split down the middle of that guy's head with all the hair brushed forward? I don't get it. I'm just glad Mr. Nonny Nu doesn't have enough hair to do his hair that way. Thank goodness for small favors.

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Rotten Robbie

I have a question about the Rotten Robbie gas stations. Is this a major brand name chain or something? Because I've noticed that they charge even more than, say, Shell or Chevron. Check it out.

Exhibit A
There's a Rotten Robbie on Saratoga that's just down the street from a 76 station and a Chevron station. The 76 and Chevron stations are both in the heart of a busy shopping center, yet Rotten Robbie is selling their gas for 4 cents more per gallon than either the 76 and Chevron stations.

Exhibit B
There's a Rotten Robbie on DeAnza with a Chevron just a block away. Chevron has a carwash where actual people hand wash your car for you. Yet, Rotten Robbie is again selling its gas for 4 cents more per gallon, even though it is farther away from the 85 than the Chevron. Sure, there are the Arco and US Gas stations that are selling the gas for $2.05 (6 cents more per gallon) than Rotten Robbie, but they are right off of the 85.

So, how is Rotten Robbie getting away with this and why would people go there instead of the cheaper Chevron down the road? Do they offer massages while you wait or free tote bags? What gives?

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Oh, gross!!

Remember when we last talked about restroom stalls? Freelance Midget recently sent me an article about them. It's SOOOOO GROSS!!! Here it is. Apparently, my favorite "near last" stall at the office isn't so great since it's used more often than the first stall. But, that first stall is just too "exposed" for my tastes. I mean, nobody can see me in there, but still. It's the first one! I just can't do it. I just can't!

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Holy Moly!!

When you get in bed and turn out the lights, do your eyes glow red like the numbers on your alarm clock? Do yellow puffs of sulfur seep out of your pores every few seconds like a Glade plug-in? For the women, during the day, do you find that you have to adjust your headband because your horns make headband placement difficult? If you answered yes to any of these questions, boy, do I have the answer for you!

Take a look at what I saw this Sunday when I was getting breakfast! Yes, it is an exorcism van, my friends, cruising the San Francisco Bay Area. I was ready to see The Church Lady unloading her synthesizer from out of the sliding side door. I have kept the photos at 100% their size so that you can see all the messages written in the style of those pastel candy Valentine hearts:

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Guys, You're Screwed.

<--I got one of these yesterday. Yep, a perm.

Don't freak out! After the 70s and 80s, "perm" practically became a four-letter word, I know. But, for chicks who have completely straight hair (like yours truly), it puts a little bounce in our steps. For an entire DECADE (literally--just ask my sisters), I have had a bob. I sorta got tired of it. So, I devoted about 9 months growing out my hair so that it would be long enough to put a loose perm in it. This was a little over a year ago when my hair was long enough, and this is the third perm I've had.

I know that the guys aren't going to understand this, but getting a haircut or changing our hairstyle in any way, shape, or form is traumatic for chicks. Whenever the participants in makeover shows have to get a haircut, they almost always express some type of apprehension about "taking too much off." And, this is when the makeover shows bring in world-renown professionals. Can you imagine what we ordinary girls are thinking when we go into a salon? This is why we procrastinate. Mr. Nonny Nu always has to "remind" me to get a haircut. But, what he doesn't know is that I've probably been thinking about going to get a haircut for days ahead of his reminder.

It wasn't too bad this time because it wasn't the first time I got it permed. But, when my hair was finally long enough for it, I was still iffy. Can you believe that?! I spent 9 months--that's a whole baby!--working toward this goal, and on the eve of having it realized, I was scared to take the plunge. Crazy, right? But, it happened. And, it happens every single time I get ready to go in for a haircut or a "styling." In fact, I feel like this right now because I can't wash my hair for 48 hours, which means I can't "make it the way I like it" until Sunday night after I wash it.

And, it's not just before the haircut that this freak out happens. It ALWAYS occurs after the haircut, no matter how much it cost or how expert the stylist supposedly is. This lady said it best: "we are not happy until we put our own spin on it!" SO TRUE.

Furthermore, husbands and other types of significant others, I'm sorry to tell you but you guys are damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you give constructive criticism, you have just substantiated our worst nightmare--we were right in believing that the haircut is horrid. If you say it looks nice, we know that you are just trying to avoid the horrid haircut. But, the worst, and I mean the very worst, is if you don't say anything at all. Okay, then, we know that
the haircut totally sucks ass and it's so bad that you guys can't even get yourselves to lie about it. So, choose your poison, guys.

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Ditching

Do you guys remember how fun it used to be to ditch school?? Don't get me wrong. I always took care of business and was in all the AP classes offered. But, there was something about ditching school that was SO FUN, even when you didn't have anything in particular planned!!

It all started when I was in 2nd grade.* I missed the school bus going from school to daycare one day (because my My Melody backpack's strap got loose and I had a hard time trying to re-string it), and I was so freaked out that I ran all the way to daycare. Unfortunately, I ran too fast and got to daycare before the bus arrived. But, from then on, I had a taste for "deviating from instructions." (I'm sure Mr. Nonny Nu is nodding his head right now and thinking, "Yes, I am very familiar with her 'deviating from instructions' approach to life...") So, now and then, I would just not take the bus after school. Instead, I would walk home and I would stop on the way at the liquor store where they had soft serve ice cream and other treats and candies. This place even had the dual-cone soft serves. Yummmm...

But then, I had to change school districts (they figured out that I wasn't in the right one, so I had to go the one nearer to my house), and that was when MonkeyPig and I were in the same school district. By then, I was in 3rd grade and MP was in 11th grade. I couldn't deviate from instructions at that time because I had to be home at a certain time (before MP got home). However, after she went away to college, the world was mine! I regularly walked home from school so that I could stop by yet another liquor store for treats.

Then, in junior high** and high school***, those were the best times. My best friend, DT, lived within walking distance of school, so we would ditch and hang out with his mom all the time. I distinctly remember one day when we three just did aerobics all day! From 6th grade onward, I don't think my schools ever saw my parents' actual signatures--it was all me on those excuse notes and report cards. I think I might have ditched at least one class per week. It was so fun.

* Check this out!! I went to Monterey Highlands School for 1st and 2nd grade, and my teacher for those two grades is still teaching there! Her name is Ms. Yamabe.

** Whoa, my junior high used to be called a "junior high school." Now, it's a "middle school" (I've always hated that name). Also, Thursdays used to be Hamburger Day and they even got rid of that.

*** Ha! They're still playing badminton there! (Go to "Sports Calendar" and see the month of March.) Did you know that, in my last year on the Varsity team, I was Most Improved?? Yeah, after 3 years of playing, I finally figured out how to "whip" the birdie. What a maroon. Back in those days, our biggest rival was Arroyo. If I am not mistaken their uniform was black and white. Okay, I am going to revise my statement about Arroyo being our biggest rival. Whichever school has the black and white uniforms, THAT was our biggest rival. (I'm pretty sure it was Arroyo.)

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No, I am not dead.

I am just tired.

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Shamelisted: Lazy Employees

Hello, world. So, I just got back from the DMV. Well, not really. To be accurate, I just got back form the DMV's parking lot. You see, it's Abraham Lincoln's birthday today, so the DMV is taking off so that their employees can celebrate. Now, I love Lincoln like he was my own president, so I'm feeling a bit of mixed feelings right now, but is it just me? Or, is laziness pervading the workplaces of America? No doubt, they will also get President's Day off as well as Washington's Birthday off. I think that's unfair. They get three days off for only two presidents' birthdays. What's up with that, huh?

As I was driving into work today, I was reflecting upon my observations at [an extended meeting] last year. Near the end of the day (I'm talking about 4:45pm), [an employee of a meeting participant] would just get up and leave. IN THE MIDDLE OF [A MEETING SESSION]. Yeah, you read that right. [Everyone else, including the most important participant that everyone was trying to convince] would stay, but the [employee] would just literally shut down her computer, get up, walk out of her little "station" in front of the [main dude], and stroll from the front of the [room], past the [participant] tables, open the little swinging half door, go through, pass through the [observers' seating area], pull open the two large wooden doors, and take off. Just like that. Everyday at 4:45pm, we'd see this happen. Now, if I were to just get up during a meeting at 4:45pm and leave, I'd be out of a job.

But, it gets worse. I was hung up on the lazy government employee (even though it's really just laziness in general, not specifically associated with government work), so I was looking for some funny photo of a government employee today to do this blog entry, and so I image googled "government employee." I found something far worse than a degrading depiction of these so-called public "servants".* Now, I don't know what kind of data the following graphs are derived from, but in my fit of government employee rage, I am going to believe anything that paints a lazy, over-compensated picture of the government employee (i.e., for all of my intents and purposes at this moment, these graphs are COMPLETELY ACCURATE). Just take a look...

There are A LOT of government employees and they are multiplying like rabbits:
















They get paid more than your average Joe (both in Canada and in the US):










Their salaries increase more rapidly than our salaries do (in the private sector):










Now, I guess I was targeting the government employees in this post because of my DMV experience.** But, it's really not just them (though it really does look like they have it better than the civilian worker). It's just laziness in general.

* Ha! "Servants" my ass... You have to be present to serve.

[edit] I'm shamelisting this.

[edit] Edited to remove offensive/identifying stuff.

[edit]
** Oh, this reminds me. I tried not to generalize the government employee, but I am very willing to generalize the DMV employee. These are, by far, the laziest people I've met. The last time I went to the DMV (not this morning's ride through their parking lot, but the last time I actually went there and was provided "service"), I watched this chick sit at her desk for 8 minutes doing nothing. I'm talking nothing. She wasn't surfing the net. She wasn't reading a book. She wasn't tidying her desk. She wasn't filing her nails. She was doing nothing except breathing and allowing other involuntary bodily functions to proceed as they tend to do when a live person is doing absolutely nothing. Now, as usual, there were lines and lines of people waiting to be served by these public servants. But, I guess she wanted her full lunch break. I watched her watch the clock. At exactly 1:30, she calls the next number and then starts to work. I guess she didn't want to be cheated out of her 8 minutes of lunch time.

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O2 Optix Contact Lenses

Holy cow!! I was wondering why I was seeing things clear as a bell from the bed this morning. When I got up, I saw the clock clearly, and also the cat food clearly. But, it wasn't until I got into the shower that I realized that I had slept with my contacts in last night. Man, they were comfy! I'm very impressed with these O2 Optix lenses. Normally, when I sleep in my lenses on accident, they are plastered onto my eyeballs and I have to really squeeze them to lift them off of my eyes. Yes, ouch. But, these guys came right off in the shower with no tugging at all.

I have dry eyes, and the brand that I was using before (Acuvue) wasn't so good for them. In fact, two years ago when I went to get my eyes checked, the optometrist told me that I had impressions of my contacts on my eyeballs. Isn't that nuts? I had to use rewetting drops twice a day for a week after that to get rid of the impressions. But, after I switched to O2 Optix, that has not happened. At my most recent check up, my optometrist told me that there was no imprint anymore.

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Newspaper Drives

Remember those newspaper drives we used to have in school? I don't know why, but the memory of it popped into my head today and I finally figured out what they were for! Maybe my brain has been working on this problem for the past 20 years, and only just now made heads or tails of it. I googled to make sure that my understanding is correct. So, apparently, the idea for newspaper drives is to increase recycling. For some reason, I just never caught onto that one.

From what I remember, the instructions were to bring old newspapers from home. But, we never had any newspapers at home. We just weren't the newspaper reading type of family. So, everytime there was a newspaper drive, either Ca Loc or Wah Toh would have to scramble the day before to buy a bunch of newspapers, which means that the newspapers I brought were never old and all of them were always of the same exact edition.

I just now asked Mr. Nonny Nu and, apparently, you aren't supposed to buy the papers. You're just supposed to bring the old stuff that is laying around the house. I wonder if it's a Chinese thing--did you guys have to buy newspapers for your school newspaper drives?

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Has technology gone too far?

Look, I'm not anti-technology. I'm really not. I love video games and movies as much as the next person. But, has technology gone too far? I mean, a person can't seem to find any location where they can't be "reached." It all started off with cellphones. You could be reached on the phone wherever you went. Now, we have phones that send photos, and phones that can surf the web, check email, and even edit documents.

I just think we are going too far. Sometimes, I just feel like being alone. (As you all know, I am a big fan of the one-person feast.) When I got out of college and got my first real job, my company offered to pay for my cellphone if I would be on call for them 24/7. I declined. It's just not worth it. And, if you look at my cellphone,* it's ridiculously old fashioned. Everyone says so, but I don't care. I just don't want a new cellphone that does all sorts of crazy stuff. I just want my cellphone to receive phone calls. That's it. Is that really asking so much? Am I backward for this??

Anyhow, bonus points to the person who can guess what is depicted here.

* That's an old text message from Freelance Midget to notify me that she had landed. I was supposed to go pick her up, but I totally forgot and was at Trader Joe's when I received the message!

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I feel like crap, but I hope the Giants win!

Went hiking today with Stillman. I thought that the canopy of the trees would keep the rain off, and I really didn't feel that much rain on me. Stillman, being the mother hen that she is, kept telling me that I was going to get soaked. I thought my sunny disposition would prevent all that. Again, I was wrong. I felt fine throughout the hike and when I got home. Then, I went grocery shopping, and I think I might have gotten further soaked at that time. When I got home, I had a headache. I couldn't even eat my Chicken McNuggets. Now, that should tell you how sick I was. So, I called it a night pretty early, and right before I showered, I barfed. Yeah, it's been a long time (I'd say over a year) since I barfed. I'm generally a healthy rabbit. Never even had the flu.

Anyhow, it's kinda fun being sick. Plus, SuperBowl will be on tomorrow!! I don't really know these two teams. I really only started watching football during the finals. But, Tom Brady? NO THANKS. (No, I'm not a Bridget Moynahan fan.) And, that 18-0 record? It must be vandalized...

Go Giants!!

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Will Viola make it?

Shoot, 32 and I still haven't learned to control myself. One thing that I have never learned was how to leave well enough alone. You know, it's well and good to want to improve things, but why do I always seem to choose a needlessly extravagant "improvement" that many times seems to worsen the situation?? I have no idea. You guys have all been in my shoes before. I know it can't just be me.

Today, I thought that Viola looked a bit soil-deficient. (Yes, yes, I know I haven't updated her photos since last September.) So, instead of just adding some soil to the top of her pot like a normal person would do, I decide to re-pot her and give her a brand new set of soil. Well, little did I know that her roots had woven through all of the existing soil, so it was next to impossible for me to get rid of the old soil so that I could give her new soil. In the end, I just added a little bit of new soil to the sides of the pot and the top of the pot (like I should have done in the first place). But now, I'm not sure if the old girl is going to live through all that rummaging through her roots.

You know, I had nothing but the best intentions for her. But, this isn't the only time this (i.e., screwing up when all I wanted to do was help) has happened to me. In fact, I usually have nothing but the best intentions whenever I set out to improve a situation. I really think that my rate of success is disproportionately low for the amount and degree of good intent I have. The world would be such a happier place if good intentions is all that was needed. Why, practically everything I do would be a hit. GAH--that totally sucks, people!!

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Calendars are finally here!

Yes! The anointed day has finally arrived. Those of you who work at Nu Nu & Nu, LLP, have received your calendars. If you are not in your office today, *cough*GreenThumbsMcGillicuttyisslackingoffagain*cough*, I have set them on your chairs. Also included are TWoNN post-it notes!!

These calendars are limited editions. I have only printed 25. They will be worth a lot of pesos on Antique Road Show in a few centuries. So, hang on to them! I originally wanted to send these to TWoNN participants and loyal readers for Christmas presents, but I couldn't get them done in time. Sorry for the delay--we are already on the last day of January. But, they are on their way now.

Please remember, whatever you do, DO NOT FLIP FORWARD TO FUTURE MONTHS UNTIL THEY ARRIVE!

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Hello, Dolly!

We have a new addition to the Nu family--Dolly! She is a 2008 Ford Fusion SEL. Many people (e.g., Coach Nelson, MonkeyPig, etc.) have been expressing reservations about Jolly Green Giant (my old 1995 Infiniti G20), so Mr. Nonny Nu got me Dolly. I am all set to start work tomorrow!

Dolly is a pretty girl. Here's a three-quarter view. Come closah!!* This is what she looks like from the side. Not only does Dolly have a pretty face, she also has a nice ass; definitely not a wide load. Okay, maybe she does have a little junk in the trunk.

But, Dolly isn't just beautiful on the outside. She's also beautiful on the inside. Here she is from the passenger side. Look at that stitching! I love that feature. It really ties in the black interior with the "white suede" exterior. The dash is user friendly, but I don't really need to go there much since there is an automatic climate control (which I have set to 70 degrees) and the steering wheel has the audio controls built in. The instrument panel is pretty cool, imo, and has green backlighting.

Plus, the back seat is pretty comfy. They also fold down, in case I need to haul a giant carrot. And, I love, love, love the moon roof. I think Dolly will be perfect for when I have passengers who need to check their eyeliner, or those pesky backseat drivers, or both!

(Photos of Nonny Nu made possible by my trusty assistant.)

* A la Mr. Hinkie (for South Park fans).

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Do you care?

I'm going through the last few days of my two week vacation (I go back to work on Monday), and all I hear about on the news is about the Iowa primary and, now, the New Hampshire primary. Personally, I'm very disinterested this election year. I just don't really have any interest in this and wish that the Twilight Zone marathon would come back on. On top of that, it's a dreary and stormy day outside (video taken from the front door of the Nu residence where there is a small window--check out that wind noise!):



...and it would be so nice to just curl up with something good to watch on TV. I don't know if it has to do with me not keeping up with who's doing what and who's saying what, but I'm just not excited at all about this election or any of the candidates running. Is anyone else feeling this way? Or is it just me?

Oooh! Look at this live-person re-enactment of the Tetris videogame!

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To Man from U.N.C.L.E. -- Talking Cats

Hey! You were requesting a translation of the talking cats? Someone translated:

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HAHAHAHA!!! This is funny.

Dudes, check this out! I had nothing to do with patenting these inventions--honest!!

(Special thanks to Augustus Pablo for the submission!)

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!

This is why I never listen to turkeys.

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Is It Too Early to be Thinking About Christmas?by Man from U.N.C.L.E. (guest blogger who doesn't like mayo)

Have you noticed that department stores and retail establishments all across the land have started putting up Christmas stuff earlier and earlier? It used to be that Santa and his merry elves would only emerge from the arctic North about a month before the holiday. Thanksgiving Parades would reach their denouement with the first visit from the fat guy in the red suit. As time has gone on, November 1 became the day that Halloween Candy was hastily ripped from the shelves and the yuletide festivities and accompanying decorations were on display. Yet the calendar got even more rolled back this year. I started noticing X-mas decorations and displays going up directly after Labor Day?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? As soon as Back-To-School Sales ended, up went Rudolph, the stockings, the twinkling lights and artificial cotton batting doubling as snowfall. There's a local radio station that starts playing Bing Crosby, Elvis, Rosemary Clooney and Alvin and The Chipmunks holiday music 24 hours a day, 7 days week effective last week. What the heck?

Why are we as a society so compelled to speed everything up? We diminish the significance of day to day knowledge and growth to careen toward the future, unbridled to stop and smell the roses, and as a result, we miss precious opportunities to be grounded and share ourselves with others, or allow others to share themselves with us. Thanksgiving has become merely the day before the biggest shopping day in the year. Is this what John Smith and Sacajewa had in mind for us?

I miss sitting around with my family and sharing quality time laughing and enjoying each other's company. At the time, it sure was a chore loading up in a cramped Chevy Impala and driving the 40 miles to my grandmother's house (no-we didn't go over the meadow and through the woods), for weekend visits where we'd sit around and play cards, watch football, go for ice cream and build a soon-to-be demolished pseudo dam in the creek behind their house. But now, with everything so sped up, those sassperilla Saturdays sure seem idyllic.

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