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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

A Revolution, Complete with Monkeys - and Experimental Economics
by Freelance Midget (guest blogger)

It's been an uneventful week slash weekend. Not to be misleading; I did many things - yet...not. Oh, and some waitress from Olive Garden backed into my car while we were both in the right turn lane at an intersection (what??). Anyway, I digress. I think this air of looming dissatisfaction stems from my under utilization at work. For those of you unfamiliar with "utilization" at a firm that bills by the hour, it basically means I'm staffed on projects, yet have nothing to do, therefore, have nothing to bill. I have even offered to freelance my analyst skills in the office - no takers. Thank God, for NN. She's paying me by the word, you know. I'm going to jack up my prices next post.

Not to be entirely discouraged by my lack of projects lately, I have perfected my online shopping skills. I am now intimately acquainted with Neiman, Nordstrom, and DVF. Unfortunately, I suffer from buyer's remorse, frequently. Maybe I'll have a voting forum, consisting of Nonny Nu's dedicated readership, that will help me decide which purchases to keep and which to send away. The tally so far: dress, red flats , flashy flats, and a trench coat. Readers, weigh in.

Not to tarnish my intellectual reputation or anything, I've done slightly more than shop this past week. I've put together backup for 2 expert reports...and, oh, wait. Anyway, like NN, I have rearranged my office. More specifically, I've thrown a coup d'etat.

I share an office with 2 other analysts (both senior to me), and until this past week, I was confined to a small IKEA quality desk that was something like 6 feet off the ground; AND, my back was directly in front of the door. The eldest analyst, occupied 2/3 of the office while
Carol and I shared the remaining 1/3.

In one beautifually executed sweep, I managed to shimmy my way away from the door (somewhat), erected a bookcase to block me from the glass panels by the door, take control of a real desk, annexed my rightful 1/3, and Balancing (Curious) George now stands guard at the door. Not only was this satisfying, it was an interesting case study in behavioral economics, more specifically, people's perceptions of the status quo in relation to equality. Confused? Let me explain.

Carol is #2 in our office (I am #3 - Yoda, obviously being in Numero Uno place). Pre-coup (or "PC"), she was semi-content with her small space near the door adjacent to mine. We shared a trash can and a shred bin, and she even managed to acquire a bookshelf for herself. All seemed well in Analyst Land. That is, until the seeds of discontent began to sprout in my heart. I decided 1/2 of 1/3 wasn't enough for me. I should get my OWN trash can - maybe even my OWN shred bin. So I plotted*.

Now that my plan was set in motion, my nascent territory was maturing, a spark of discontent flared in the heart of Carol. Dark thoughts grew and festered. She imagined wrongdoing and injustice, poverty, and cruelty to animals...ok, maybe not that. Anyhow, she fought her way into my territory, and negotiated a creep into Yoda's. "I must be able to swivel freely in my chair. FREEDOMMMMMM!" she proclaimed. In any case, she perceived that other's situations were improving (even Yoda acquired a new cabinet and a better proximity to the corner plant), and suddenly, the status quo - which for 2 years had been satisfactory - suddenly was not. Very interesting indeed.

Sadly, now that I have established my fiefdom between my neighboring analysts...I am still bored out of my g.d. mind. I'm sure the family will be glad to hear this: I am so bored, I am thinking about applying to law school this fall. [Disclaimer: this is fleeting, and in no way legally binding, and may be recalled at any moment]

Oh, well this is exciting news: my sister has graduated from her Master of Teaching program and has accepted her first full-time job offer - teaching 2nd graders. I personally cannot imagine teaching a roomful of smelly, lice-infested children (some of which will stab you in the leg with a pencil, I'm told) who can't read or write. But I'm glad someone can. I think we should start an online contribution fund for her. I think this is appalling but teachers are forced to buy their own school supplies: books, paper, art supplies, classroom supplies, pencils, chalk, etc. This adds up to hundreds of dollars each semester, and although that may not be more than your Tumi briefcase, that's a big chunk of change for a teacher's salary. As much as I dislike teaching under-performing kids, I think the US public education system is pretty horrific. I guess I could put in a Vote for Hillary bit here since she just unveiled her universal pre-K initiative but I'm politically ignorant, and quasi-apathetic, so I'll leave it at that. Side note: even though I'm politically confused about the next election, one thing I do know - I should've gotten a recommendation from the Senator when I was working for her. Damn.

If you're still bored and have nothing else to read, check out Sugar, the Wonder Dog on YouTube <<>>.

Note: By plotted, I mean I asked Yoda if I could annex some territory, and then I called facilities to rearrange the furniture.


Nonny Nu said...

Don't be so hard on your #1. I think there may be personal harships involved. You may be able to expand your fiefdom by monetary means. I say return the flashy flats and redirect those monies to acquisition of some office real estate. Who says #3 can't have 3/2 of 1/3?

Anonymous said...

Yah, who said #3 can't have 3/2 of 1/3? I suggest to lock up your drawer at night, who know #1 & #2 may UTILIZE your snacks while staying late in the office. Yes, flat shoes must go. The educational system in the US suck. It only happen in the America. No wonder, Oprah send her money to so. africa. I agree those kids smell bad, but they are not under .....

caloc said...

cont. they are not under develope. be kind with them, remember once you were like them......

Caloc said...

You sound like you are in need of a feet massage? Chinese style.........

Ben Wa said...

"You sound like you are in need of a feet massage? Chinese style."

funny you should mention that...

White Haute Coco said...

the dress: look, sister, just because it's on sale doesn't mean it's gonna look good. the shoulders and the v-line won't do you a bit of justice. you'll look like rambo in 'first blood' after he cut up some burlap and roped it around his torso.

red flats: don't know where you're getting the 'red' part, but the link shows some nice slingers. get em.

flashy flats: that's what you were going to pair with 'the dress' isn't it? say it, SAY IT! they're okay, just so long as you're not flashy everywhere else. too much flash and you're off to see Rev. Valentine, so wear them with jeans.

trench coat: didn't look nice until an up-close shot. that started me wondering why you'd need it in summer, though (unless you're into flashing). save your money for now and london fog it in the winter.

"I am thinking about applying to law school this fall."

this girl is talking sense! get it out of the way already; you know the challenge haunts you.

Anonymous said...

BS to Boreland Princess - you should already know how you can rightfully, professionally, and intellectually advance from #3 to numero uno ...... Consider also, THE offer is only good while "supplies" last!

PS: don't "wash your feet without wiping them.*"

* In Cantonese **
** still don't get it?! -> defer to Nonny Nu

Nonny Nu said...

Okay, who wrote that comment right above mine?? Freelance Midget and I have spent all afternoon wondering. It can't be Ca Loc or Wah Toh because there aren't any grammatical errors. It isn't 3fish (I just confirmed this on the phone with her). It's also not [insert name here] because it's actually helpful advice. And, it's probably not MonkeyPig because there's nothing denegrating in the comment.


Anonymous said...

Why squander your COMPANY's billable time wondering about who wrote that comment so long as the helpful advice is well understood and wisely taken. Ah............

Changing the subject, those flashy flats could buy quite a few pairs of Papillon slippers - Ann T.

Anonymous said...

Why squander your COMPANY's billable time wondering about who wrote that comment so long as the helpful advice is well understood and prudently taken. Ah............

Changing the subject, the "flashy flats" could buy quite a few pairs of "papillon slippers." Ann T.

Freelance Midget said...

Ann T./anonymous is officially creepy.

Nonny Nu said...

Ann T., billable time is billed only when work is done. In other words, MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX.

Keep your identity to yourself. See if I care!

*crosses arms*
*turns back on Ann T.*

Nonny Nu said...

Ann T. (IF that is your real name): The jig is up. We are on to you. Only 3fish would be so anal as to go back and edit the comment, but also be so tech un-savvy as to not delete the original pre-edited comment. And, 3fish is the only germophobic sister who has good grammar (because she idolized Princess Diana while the rest of the sisters idolized Liza Wang and Teresa Tang).

I can't believe you, 3fish. Even though I usually screen your calls even when I'm at home and twiddling my thumbs or pulling lint out of my belly button, I made the effort to call you while I was at work to ask you whether you were BS. And, you lied to my face? You better add on another 30 minutes to your praying time tonight for that one, sister.

Anyway, you are now on the Nonny Nu Hall of Fame--WELCOME!!