Happy Birthday to Midge!

Oh, dear Midge,

You are nearing middle age at such a fast rate! I remember when I was your age. The time just flew. So, have a piece of cake (Cl. Panic chose this one especially for you!), sit back, and watch the years roll by. See ya on the other side!

Wheeeeeee!!!

*slides down other side of hill*

Your favorite aunt,
nn

...there's more to this story--click me!

Precious Moments

No, I haven't blogged in a long time. It's because I was buried under MOUNTAINS of work (ask Cl. Panic and Green Thumbs if you don't believe me). But what has dragged me out of the bleary-eyed just-wash-enough-clothes-to-get-me-through-the-week mode that I've been in? The almost indescribably creepy concept that is Precious Moments.

You all know what I'm talking about. Those figurines of angelic children with the large eyes? Yeah, those. But you must be wondering why these precious and momentous little things should creep me out, right? Okay, I'll tell you.

I received this email today from Midge:









Without reading the URL, I just clicked on the link and was greeted with this. "What's so creepy about that??" Right. Just bear with me. So, as you all know, 3-Fish is Midge's and Midge's Sister's mom. She is also MonkeyPig's and my sister. We all love her, but 3-Fish sometimes does things that are, well, to say the least, unexplained. 3-Fish lives in Kansas and there are not any Disneylands or Magic Mountains there. Instead, they have Silver Dollar City and the aforelinked Precious Moments Park.

Now, I have nothing against SDC. I love SDC. I remember eating a very tasty turkey leg at SDC. They also had great rides. But, PMP is another matter entirely. I was never creeped out by Precious Moments until I went to the park one time when MonkeyPig, Jean Cutter, and I were visiting the Fishes in Kansas. We parked, we got out of the car, paid for admission, and was allowed onto the grounds. Now, what do you think is the first thing that greets me? The thing that sets the tone for the entire visit?

A COMPLETELY SILENT, LIFE-SIZED PRECIOUS MOMENT INDIVIDUAL FLOATING TOWARD ME WITH ITS GINORMOUS EYES.

I thought I was having a Donnie Darko moment. If I am not mistaken, I swear I heard a low hum that didn't seem to have a source as the PMI otherwise noiselessly approached. I don't know if it was because the size, dead silence, and hover of that thing was totally unexpected, but that has creeped me out for over a decade. I believe that everyone else on the visit had the same reaction and are probably traumatized by that thing, too. Okay, with the exception of 3-Fish, who just loved the visit. *rolls eyes*

...there's more to this story--click me!

Update on the Non

I'm sure you're wondering what the hell has happened to the rabbit, aren't you? Well, I've been wondering whether I should talk about it on the blog because you people actually know me. But, I'm secure enough in our friendship that I've decided to come out with it.

I guess I'm a bit bummed. Have been for a while. Not sure why. It's just a feeling of being lost and a failure and a fraud. A general feeling of malaise. Last night, on The History Channel, they had a thing on the Seven Deadly Sins and the one I'm committing right now is sloth, btw. Anyhow, there you have it. That's why I haven't been writing. I am normally a very optimistic person, and even when I have slumps, they usually disappear within 3-4 hours. A day, max. But, I'm just not sure why I am not shaking this.

Mr. Nonny Nu says that I should make an effort to actually make this a new year, a new beginning. I'm trying. But all that is just reminding me of how old I am and that time is marching on.

I am betting that you've all heard of Twilight (the movie) and have also heard of the Twilight series (the books). (Wow, I'm really spilling all my guts now, but that will be my New Year Resolution--to be more truthful and write more about my feelings this year on the blog.) I have a very rich imagination and the only thing I have not been able to fantasize about are married and unavailable men (I just don't feel right doing that). I'm talking about the innocuous fantasies like when Christian Bale opens the door for you or has dinner with you. Get your minds out of the gutter. The girls will know what I'm talking about.

Okay, back to the story. So, Midge and I went to see Twilight in early December. I had low hopes for it, thinking that it was a teeny bopper flick, which it was. But, the story itself was so interesting, that I bought the book that night and finished it the next day. I then finished the entire series in the next week (three additional books).

Alright, don't laugh, but I'm gonna let you in a ridiculous secret. I am not waiting for some vampire to bite my neck. What is troubling me is that I can't even imagine myself in that storyline because those characters are so dang young. I mean, I feel completely ridiculous. Wow, that has never happened to me before, not being able to put myself in a storyline, no matter how removed from reality it is. And because of what? Age. I'm 33.5, and absolutely nothing exciting has ever happened to me. No hostage situation, no bank robbery, no nothing. I can't even say it's going to go downhill from here because there is no lower score on the Excitement Scale than the one my life has right now. And, no, I'm not talking about my life at this point. I'm talking about my entire life.

Kill me now.

On a lighter note, I am starting a new project and will be running some polls throughout the next several months to ask for your opinions on the project's direction. Your input will be greatly appreciated.

...there's more to this story--click me!

Oh, gross!!

Remember when we last talked about restroom stalls? Freelance Midget recently sent me an article about them. It's SOOOOO GROSS!!! Here it is. Apparently, my favorite "near last" stall at the office isn't so great since it's used more often than the first stall. But, that first stall is just too "exposed" for my tastes. I mean, nobody can see me in there, but still. It's the first one! I just can't do it. I just can't!

...there's more to this story--click me!

Second Careers?

This weekend, I happened upon some surreptitious second careering. What I mean is, I think that some people might be engaged in careers outside of their known ones. For example, as I was shopping for groceries, I came across this:
It appears that our dear old Midge is not only a financial analyst, but also has a second career making and selling "crunchy corn sticks." Not to be outdone, Green Thumbs McGillicutty seems to be capitalizing on her horticulture skills by opening the below establishment:
Should Midge's employer be made aware of this competing area of interest that is taking up so much of Midge's time? ("New studmuffin," my ass...) And, is this the real reason that GTM will be "taking some time off, starting next week??"

...there's more to this story--click me!

Earth to Mayor Newsom

We are no longer in the late 80s, and you are not Christian Bale.

Is it just me? Or is this guy uncommonly greasy for a mayor? And, not just of some rinky dink town. We are talking cosmopolitan San Francisco, after all. What's with the wet look this guy is sporting? I haven't seen anything like it since Pat Riley was with the Lakers. Now, I normally go for the clean cut, suited-up look but, for some strange reason, this guy just rubs me the wrong way (and not the good way like Bobby Peru).

Nevermind his zany affairs, his crazy stalkers, or the way he is constantly caressing himself. I am just talking about his look right now. Newsom reminds me of this waiter at a place Freelance Midget and I like to call "Grease Ball Noodle Soup." For those of you in the Bay Area, you will recognize this as the Mountain View branch of TK Noodle House (apparently, it is now closed). There was a low-rent Bobby Peru character there* who would ogle you and smile a "come hither, my sweet" smile as he led you to your table. I used to love to go with Midge because he'd ogle the "fresh meat" and leave me alone. Anyhow, he sported that slicked-back look that Mayor Newsom has made his signature.

So, please, Mayor Newsom, I beg you--get rid of that greasy ball of wax on your skull. It is distracting.

P.S. Christian Bale (another Nonny Nu-approved gentleman) and his, um, physique in American Psycho is one the best of all time. Check it out:

Mr. Nonny Nu, please model yourself after this person^^. Thank you.

*I know that you are wondering how this can even be possible, so don't even try to decipher what a high-rent Bobby Peru would be--he doesn't exist in this dimension.

...there's more to this story--click me!

TWoNN Hall Meeting: TWoNN Citizen of the Year Award

Hello, world!

Today, I want to share a conversation with you. It is a deep and meaningful conversation that just puts a different perspective on things. I don't want to scare you, but I actually do have plans for our little blog. I like to call them "festivities," but feel free to apply your own labels.

In February, I challenged myself to post one blog entry per day. Okay, okay, so I chose the shortest month (but it is a Leap Year), might have underperformed sometimes, and deliberately announced the challenge in the marquee so there wouldn't be any actual evidence (e.g., a blog entry) of the promise I made. But it really got me to see that I can't just expect our blog to run itself. I must participate. I must treat it as a job (for lack of a better word, since this is one of the most enjoyable of the semi-regular activities in my life). I must make it a point to post here because "trying to" doesn't do it (the last entry I posted was four days ago).

But, this recent decline of blogging frequency is just one half of the participation puzzle. Another event has now forced my hand. I wasn't going to unveil this until March 15, but I fear it may be too late, so I will do it now. The one-year anniversary of TWoNN is coming up! April 15 is the date. Easy to remember, right? So, I had planned to conduct a trivia contest whereby a TWoNN Citizen of the Year is chosen. Of course, the selection will have a random slant to it (more on that later). But first, allow me to share with you the conversation that occurred earlier this week. This is the event that forced my hand.

Freelance Midget is favorite niece (don't tell your sister), and we chat during the day (via gmail) sometimes. She is a graduate of a prestigious university, and a very bright individual. One chink in her armor, I am grieved to reveal, is her knowledge of TWoNN history. Check it out (chat and email to be read in conjunction with each other):



Are you witnessing this? It seems that America's general blase attitude toward anything educational has seeped into TWoNN and its citizenry. One of the most important topics of TWoNN--Maggi Sauce, its origins and uses--completely forgotten by one of our brightest. Hang your head in shame, Midge. I hope your mom (3-fish) isn't reading this.

The above conversation and the realization that I must commit myself [insert crazy joke here] has encouraged me to launch the next TWoNN activity ahead of schedule. Okay, so, TWoNN Citizen of the Year--WHAT IS IT?? TWoNNCotY is a competition to determine who might be the most knowledgeable TWoNN citizen alive. The reason why I say "might be" is because I have devised a scoring system that has a random component. In the next month, I will try to come up with a trivia question each day* and the person who gets the answer first gets the points associated with the question. And, how many points does the answerer get? That will be determined by this. Yes, that's right. Either Mr. Nonny Nu or I will roll a die to determine how many points the person will get (and we won't do that until the question is answered--so don't even try to get all efficient and select only high-value questions to go after, Stillman).

The winner will be determined on April 15, and will receive a TWoNN trophy along with a certificate of appreciation. TWoNNCotY begins tomorrow, so be sure to look out for it!

Note: Play is suspended on the Chinese Idiom Game until TWoNNCotY is over, or it is revealed that Man from U.N.C.L.E. is actually Man from C.H.I.N.A., whichever occurs first.

* Like the Chinese Idiom game, the trivia question will change either when it is answered correctly, or when I can't stand it anymore.

[edit] Due to popular demand, the number of questions have been capped at 3 per day.

...there's more to this story--click me!

Happy Birthday, Freelance Midget!!

Oh, our little one is growing up. In lieu of a birthday cake, I am giving you a photo of something you love much more:
That's right--family time with a hot pot! Yes, look at that broth:

Look at those meats:

I am drooling as we speak.

...there's more to this story--click me!

"No, it di'int!!" --Bob Meighan

Good grief. So, as you all can see, Cl. Panic's shamelisting of TurboTax has brought the illustrious (and prolific) Bob Meighan to our humble little blog. When I first saw his comment, I was honestly flattered. I mean, the VP of TurboTax here?? ["no way" --Freelance Midget (via Gmail Chat)]

Upon further research, however, it became quite evident that TWoNN means nothing whatsoever to Mr. Meighan. Mr. Meighan seems to be everywhere these tax days. ["he's all over google" --Lucy's Mom (via Gmail Chat)] It's hard to find a review of TurboTax that goes uncorrected by him. For example, on Amazon, he has three comments.* So, I guess we at TWoNN aren't all that special after all.

The photo at right shows Marvin the Martian's dramatic portrayal of Bob Meighan.

* Notice that, in the third review, Mr. Meighan rated the TurboTax product at 3 stars, which is above the midpoint, even though he characterizes this as "the midpoint." I guess, like 50 cents on TurboTax, the half-star gets rounded up on Amazon. I don't know though. That's a possible shenanigans.

...there's more to this story--click me!

Friskies Commercialby Sushi Cat (Madison Avenue guest blogger)

Hello, everybody!

How are you? I am fine. I have been a very busy kitty. Friskies International recently hired yours truly to film a commercial for them. So, I sat down at a windowsill and tried to figure out what was the best place a kitty could be. I came up with two and couldn't decide which one would be best--at home with the kitty's momma and daddy, or in Pet Paradise. So, being the writer and director of the commercial, I decided to put both in! I found a male model named "Morris" to star in the commercial (he lives next door to me in Pet Paradise), and the rest of my pals also pitched in. Here is the commercial:


Morris as Himself
Written and directed by Sushi Cat
Produced by Cotton Doggie (Mr. Nonny Nu's doggie)
Cinematography by Mr. Jones (Man from U.N.C.L.E.'s kitty)
Sound by Happy (PurpleNiobe's doggie)
Catered by Jennie, Craft Service's PP representative (PurpleNiobe's doggie)
Hair and Makeup by Coco (3-Fish's and Freelance Midget's doggie)
Gaffer...Jazmine (PurpleNiobe's doggie)

...there's more to this story--click me!

The Durian Doesn't Fall Far From the Refugee Tree

For the gwailo's among us, durian may be a complete mystery. This may even be their first exposure to the fruit. If you are a foodie and watch Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Foods TV show, you might be familiar with the fruit (since it is one of only three things that Andrew Zimmern could not eat). But, to refugees like Nonny Nu and her sisters, durian is like Heaven, a very stinky but tasty Heaven. It is really very good if you can get past the smell (kinda like refugees).

Anyhow, why am I telling you about durian? Well, because I see durian as somewhat symbolic of Asian refugees. And, what do Asian refugees do? They bring their own snacks to the movie theatre. One of my dreams is to have a Lee's sammich (#5) while watching a good movie in the theatres.

Okay, but back to my story. This weekend, Freelance Midget's Sister is visiting the SF Bay Area. (Welcome, FMS!) The two girls came to the Nu residence on Saturday. We played Monopoly* and it was kinda fun to watch the two sisters go at each other like a couple of Orcs. I owned Baltic and Mediterranean, the two cheapest properties. I built a hotel on each of the properties, and welcomed my guests several times, though (Mr. Nonny Nu stayed twice--once in my Mediterranean hotel and once in my Baltic hotel). I also owned the Yellow properties (Atlantic, Ventnor, and Marvin Gardens). Mr. Nonny Nu owned the pricey ones--Park Avenue and Boardwalk--and also the upper middleclass Red properties (Kentucky, Indiana, and Illinois). Freelance Midget owned the Light Blue properties (Oriental, Vermont, and Connecticut) and the Orange properties (St. James, Tennessee, and New York). I was immune in those two areas, though. FMS owned the Green Properties (Pacific, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania). Long story short, Freelance Midget got the Free Parking money several times, FMS did a great job refusing to bargain with anyone (making my slum hotels the only improved properties on the board for a long while), and, while I was feeding the cats, Mr. Nonny Nu got declared the winner. Don't ask how that happened. I couldn't tell you--I wasn't there!

Okay, sorry, that was yet another tangent. Oh, wait! Just one more tangent before I get back to the story. I made a cheese plate with brie, harvarti, and gouda with assorted crackers and it was a hit!

Now, I will go back to the story. Yesterday, I went to see No Country for Old Men with Freelance Midget and FMS. These girls were born in the US, and are one generation from refugee-ness. In fact, their mother, 3-Fish, is the least refugee-like of all of us sisters. Yet, these two durian did not fall far from the refugee tree. Lo and behold, when we were in line for the tickets, Freelance Midgets whispers in my ear and says that she "brought snacks." I couldn't believe my ears. That's my girl! We brought in egg tarts, fruit tarts, and cake rolls (we had coffee and chocolate). We did purchase Icee and a root beer, and some Dibs, though.

* OMG! There's a London version of Monopoly!! I'm going to try to get that one. I LOVE LONDON AND ANYTHING ENGLISH!!

...there's more to this story--click me!

Congratulations to Freelance Midget!

[slow, resentful clapping]
After a grueling two weeks of polling the citizens of TWoNN (all 11 of them), the final votes have been tallied for TWoNN's (Inaugural) Thanksgiving Photo Contest. I am happy to declare Freelance Midget* winner of both the Best Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat) category as well as the Best Setting in a Supporting Role category! Congratulations! Freelance Midget will receive two extra blog entries for each of the wins, meaning that her current 7 blog posts will now be 11 blog posts. She is still in MAYO status, but she is now much closer to SOY SAUCE status than she was before.
[/slow, resentful clapping]

Coming in second for Best Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat) is Cl. Panic with the caturkey**, Kosmos. [My name does not have the trailing "s," idiot. --Kosmo] Coming in second for Best Setting in a Supporting Role is yours truly. I just don't know what to say. Cat v. Turkey. Cat wins. What a crock!

* Bitch!
** This is a variation of the turducken, except that Kosmos was not yet deboned. Cl. Panic, please update us re: how Kosmos took the deboning.

...there's more to this story--click me!

TWoNN's (Inaugural) Thanksgiving Photo Contest

Hello, fair citizens! Here are the contest photos (finally). Remember, there are two categories:
1) Best Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat), and
2) Best Setting in a Supporting Role.

This year, we have three contestants each submitting photos for both categories.

Freelance Midget
We had a wonderful meal yesterday. Freelance Midget's sister cooked a delicious and juicy turkey using Elton Brown's recipe. Freelance Midget was responsible for the green bean casserole and lovely table setting. They were very helpful with the cleanup, too. Nonny Nu is having a contest on the best bird/meat and table setting on her blog site. So Freelance Midget submitted the photos. Win or not, we think we had the best Thanksgiving with the kids home!
(Thanks to 3-Fish for the lovely description.)

Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat)


Setting in a Supporting Role


Cl. Panic
When he heard about the paltry Thanksgiving photo submissions, Cl. Panic rose to the occasion. Below are the photos that he submitted. I have categorized them as best as I know how. I assume that the angled setting is designed especially for the consumption of the Other Thanksgiving Meat.

Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat)


Setting in a Supporting Role


Nonny Nu
Hello! Welcome to my submissions! Here, you will see the Trader Joe's turkey I got for our Thanksgiving feast. According to the turkey's obituary on the back of its packaging, the turkey lived a wonderful life. It was a fresh-never-frozen free range turkey, and had plenty of sunshine, room to run around in, and wore silk pajamas to bed every night. It enjoyed knitting and scrapbooking. I had planned to cook it in the Ronco, but it didn't fit. So, I used the oven. I did about 5 minutes of researching on it, and was tipped off that I should roast it breast side down for the first half and then breast side up for the last half. That boosts the juiciness. It worked! (See the close up photo, but you have to look at it at an angle. I don't know what happened, but it's like my camera took a holographic photo or something.) Afterward, Mr. Nonny Nu and I played Call of Duty 4.

Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat)


Setting in a Supporting Role



Who submitted the best photos for Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat)?


Who submitted the best photos for Setting in a Supporting Role?

...there's more to this story--click me!

Thanksgiving Photos Update

If you haven't submitted your Thanksgiving photos, you're late!! Because of you, Freelance Midget is assured of a win in all categories. Now, I have to pit my lame, non-imaginative Thanksgiving photos against her oh-so-sparkly-and-wonderful-family-warm-fuzzies photos. (Trust me, they're good. I guess it helps to have an MD-turned-photographer for a dad. *eyes*) You only have yourselves to blame for this.

...there's more to this story--click me!

TWoNN Hall Meeting: Get Ready for Thanksgiving!

Hi, folks,

Seeing as how we are all going to be celebrating Turkey Day separately, I was thinking of putting up photos from everyone's celebrations so that we could kinda celebrate "together." So, if you would like to join in on the fun, please email to nonnynu@gmail.com photos of 1) your Thanksgiving Dinner, and/or 2) (if appropriate) the atmosphere/decorations of your celebration. There will be a vote afterward for "Best Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat)" and also for "Best Setting in a Supporting Role." (Special thanks to Freelance Midget for coming up with the idea for the voting! Unfortunately, she gets nothing for it.) Please note, if Willy Wonka participates, only 1/3 of the votes for his Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat) will be counted.

The winner(s) will either get 2 extra entries counted (if they are already guestblogging) or will get honorary MAYO status on the Contributors list (if they are not already guestblogging).

All photo entries must be received by Nov. 23 midnight PST (that's the midnight that marks the END of Nov. 23--sorry, this "midnight" business has always been confusing to me). Polls open Nov. 24 noon PST (noons are much clearer, imho).

Remember, *NO FACES OR OTHER IDENTIFYING MARKS IN THE PHOTOS* and *NO NUDITY, STILLMAN*.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Nonny Nu
Chief Editor, The World of Nonny Nu

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MPBSFA Day 2: Phleger Estate

Here we are at official Phleger Estate sign (left to right: Stillman, Freelance Midget, MonkeyPig, and Nonny Nu). It was a really fun day. The weather was just right, not too hot and not to cool. We saw a banana slug, and MonkeyPig and Freelance Midget poked it a bit. Before we knew it, we were already at the halfway mark. Of course, there was the usual antics, including taking pictures of each other as we took pictures and surreptitious photography.

Stillman and I showed MonkeyPig the landmarks, like the bridge where we took a group photo, and the graffiti rock. MonkeyPig had a bathroom break at Yoda's house, btw. Then, I had a failed attempt at using my timer to take a photo with MonkeyPig on a log. All in all, it was a very fun hike, except for Freelance Midget who suffered a bee sting to the head. Stillman was quick to produce a first aid kit, and I, being the documentarian that I am, saved the stinger for show and tell.

After that and because the dim sum place was too crowded, Freelance Midget, MonkeyPig, and I had a steamboat lunch (clockwise from upper left: enoki mushrooms, beef, lamb, fishballs, napa cabbage, udon noodles, taro, spicy fishcakes, spicy tofu; and clockwise from upper left: spinach, deep-fried gwais, bamboo shoots, more beef). What you do is you cook the food at the table using boiling hot broth. The spicy side of the soup was way too spicy, though, and we just didn't have strong enough taste buds to endure it. MP and FM had a good time. Some people like to cook as they go, but here's how I like to assemble my stuff.

...there's more to this story--click me!

Phlegerby MonkeyPig (guest blogger)

As Johnny says..."I'm back".

It was interesting staying with the Nu's. As I am writing this blog, my finger is half frost-bitten and my toe is about to fall off.

This is a nice area. Many techno's running around. You can tell by their square / rectangular glasses, their Borg style blue-tooth, 5'ock shadow and their Indian accents.

Damn, the A/C is on again!!!

I would never go back to Dynasty. Not only is it MMD. But, it is extremely MMD and very pricey for the quality of food they serve.

We went to Phleger Estate. It is a very nice hike. For those who are couch potatos, get off your potatos and go on a hike.



The hike was relatively uneventful. The were natural bridges and bathrooms. One can get stung for free. Freelance Midgett must have the best pheramones of all because Mr. Bee gave her neck a kiss. As exepcted, she did not appreciate the kiss. The reaction FM displayed, you think she's gonna die. She did pissed one doctor off because she did not believe in the doctor's advice of just putting ice on the sting. She had to call her Stud Muffin to look on line for the treatment of beestings. As expected, the google answer to beesting was the same as mine. FM lived through the beesting and ate hotpot.

Nonny Nu and I went to get a hair cut. It was in the mall. I was told that the hair cut was 30$. I should've known when a guy pad 42$ for his cut. The pain was more than what FM experience when I saw the bill for the hair cuts (Nonny Nu and mine) - 94+20 tip. That like a year's worth of hair cut for me. I am in shock and will go back to my cubbie hole to recover until tomorrow's spending spree.

Its off to SF.

...there's more to this story--click me!

Hey, guys, we're Googlable!

What I am about to say may be construed as a betrayal to good old Freelance Midget. Yes, this entry suggests that Google is a respectable search engine but, come on, folks. Isn't it, though? I mean, the name of the company has become a common verb in our society. Even Yahoo! in its heyday didn't have that. We never said, "Just Yahoo! it," or "Just webcrawler it." No, there's something about Google. But, I reiterate that this only speaks to the product of Google and in no way implies that miscreants who work at Google are worth peeing upon if they were to catch on fire.

Okay, okay, so I may be over-excited about something that's really just nothing, but I guess everyone wants the 15-seconds that they were promised (we're entitled to those 15-seconds now, right?). Okay, I admit it! I'm a schmuck and I'm super-excited to see the TWoNN contributors show up on the A-list--Google's search results.

How did I make this discovery? In preparation for MonkeyPig's arrival, I was searching for some extra information on the Phleger Estate trail. So, of course, I googled it at Google's blog search engine: [type]P-H-E-backspace-L-E-G-E-R-space-E-S-T-A-T-E-return[/type]. The results popped up and, OMG!, there we were at the number one spot! Not only that, I tried some other search phrases and every single TWoNN contributor showed up:

"sanborn trail"
"purissima creek"
"reason vs. monkey"
"refugee style"
"maggi sauce"
"attack of the endorphins"
"dumb broads"
"fish finale"

I'm so proud, folks. We're finally on the board! Good job everyone! Every contributor is getting a 25% bonus!

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Intervention?

Folks, I think we need an intervention. Freelance Midget has been toying with the idea of going to law school. What better place to be for a bright, creative, young mind, right? It sure as hell is better than med school (don't even get me started on that one). Plus, recent events involving SS Sociopath have, I think, necessitated a bold move on our part. I'll let Freelance Midget tell you all about that as soon as she has a moment.

*taps foot*

*purses lips*

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Shamelisted: SS Sociopath

Welcome to the inaugural listing of Nonny's Hall of Shame. This is where individuals of exceptionally low quality will be shunned and booed in perpetuity.

Without further adieu, I present to you the first member of...

[echoing] Nonny's Hall of Shame [/echoing]

Okay, everybody together: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! hisssssssssssss...

Rap Sheet:
Episode 1
Episode 2

Did you expect it? Well, this was actually the second person I thought of. I had a particular person in mind when I got the idea to start this list but that person is going to have to be third on the list because NOBODY strews(?) my favorite(?) niece's freshly washed clothes all over the floor. NOBODY. Oh, and that leaves the second person on the list. I guess you're just going to have to wait and see who that is in the next edition of ...

[echo] Nonny's Hall of Shame [/echo].

But, here's my rant about SS Sociopath...

Who does this chick think she is?? She can't even handle a roommate adding to the furniture of the house? She's worse than a fish. (Stubbie doesn't have a problem with the green folding chair I put in his bowl.) I am convinced that this is partially due to being completely spoonfed at Google, the specialty of which may be churning out nerdy, socially inept persons. It really IS like kindergarten (like Freelance Midget says), what with the school buses and cafeteria. What's next? Couches in each employee's office? PUHLEEZE. Cripes, they even have free laundry service. Oh, here's more stuff on what it's like to work at Google.

Okay, so basically, these "adults" are still living with "mom," and we ALL know how enchanting said "adults" can be, right? Apparently, these folks at Google never have to leave the Google compound and, therefore, have no need to work well with others outside of Google. That's why they don't even bother to deal properly with a new fold up chair or moving of their not-in-use "baking tupperware" back to their proper place--the kitchen cabinets. Oh! Don't even think about moving a broken stereo that nobody uses out to the garage. No, you might as well strew all her freshly washed clothes over the floor! So, out of one end of Google comes great software, but what gets spewed out of the other end of Google is akin to the snot out of a 5 year old's nostril in the dead of winter. (Ew, I think I grossed myself out...) But, what do you expect from a company that would change their website to celebrate Earth Day but not Memorial Day?

Note: The list is on the left side of the blog.

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