A Revolution, Complete with Monkeys - and Experimental Economicsby Freelance Midget (guest blogger)

It's been an uneventful week slash weekend. Not to be misleading; I did many things - yet...not. Oh, and some waitress from Olive Garden backed into my car while we were both in the right turn lane at an intersection (what??). Anyway, I digress. I think this air of looming dissatisfaction stems from my under utilization at work. For those of you unfamiliar with "utilization" at a firm that bills by the hour, it basically means I'm staffed on projects, yet have nothing to do, therefore, have nothing to bill. I have even offered to freelance my analyst skills in the office - no takers. Thank God, for NN. She's paying me by the word, you know. I'm going to jack up my prices next post.

Not to be entirely discouraged by my lack of projects lately, I have perfected my online shopping skills. I am now intimately acquainted with Neiman, Nordstrom, and DVF. Unfortunately, I suffer from buyer's remorse, frequently. Maybe I'll have a voting forum, consisting of Nonny Nu's dedicated readership, that will help me decide which purchases to keep and which to send away. The tally so far: dress, red flats , flashy flats, and a trench coat. Readers, weigh in.

Not to tarnish my intellectual reputation or anything, I've done slightly more than shop this past week. I've put together backup for 2 expert reports...and, oh, wait. Anyway, like NN, I have rearranged my office. More specifically, I've thrown a coup d'etat.

I share an office with 2 other analysts (both senior to me), and until this past week, I was confined to a small IKEA quality desk that was something like 6 feet off the ground; AND, my back was directly in front of the door. The eldest analyst, occupied 2/3 of the office while Carol and I shared the remaining 1/3.

In one beautifually executed sweep, I managed to shimmy my way away from the door (somewhat), erected a bookcase to block me from the glass panels by the door, take control of a real desk, annexed my rightful 1/3, and Balancing (Curious) George now stands guard at the door. Not only was this satisfying, it was an interesting case study in behavioral economics, more specifically, people's perceptions of the status quo in relation to equality. Confused? Let me explain.

Carol is #2 in our office (I am #3 - Yoda, obviously being in Numero Uno place). Pre-coup (or "PC"), she was semi-content with her small space near the door adjacent to mine. We shared a trash can and a shred bin, and she even managed to acquire a bookshelf for herself. All seemed well in Analyst Land. That is, until the seeds of discontent began to sprout in my heart. I decided 1/2 of 1/3 wasn't enough for me. I should get my OWN trash can - maybe even my OWN shred bin. So I plotted*.

Now that my plan was set in motion, my nascent territory was maturing, a spark of discontent flared in the heart of Carol. Dark thoughts grew and festered. She imagined wrongdoing and injustice, poverty, and cruelty to animals...ok, maybe not that. Anyhow, she fought her way into my territory, and negotiated a creep into Yoda's. "I must be able to swivel freely in my chair. FREEDOMMMMMM!" she proclaimed. In any case, she perceived that other's situations were improving (even Yoda acquired a new cabinet and a better proximity to the corner plant), and suddenly, the status quo - which for 2 years had been satisfactory - suddenly was not. Very interesting indeed.

Sadly, now that I have established my fiefdom between my neighboring analysts...I am still bored out of my g.d. mind. I'm sure the family will be glad to hear this: I am so bored, I am thinking about applying to law school this fall. [Disclaimer: this is fleeting, and in no way legally binding, and may be recalled at any moment]

Oh, well this is exciting news: my sister has graduated from her Master of Teaching program and has accepted her first full-time job offer - teaching 2nd graders. I personally cannot imagine teaching a roomful of smelly, lice-infested children (some of which will stab you in the leg with a pencil, I'm told) who can't read or write. But I'm glad someone can. I think we should start an online contribution fund for her. I think this is appalling but teachers are forced to buy their own school supplies: books, paper, art supplies, classroom supplies, pencils, chalk, etc. This adds up to hundreds of dollars each semester, and although that may not be more than your Tumi briefcase, that's a big chunk of change for a teacher's salary. As much as I dislike teaching under-performing kids, I think the US public education system is pretty horrific. I guess I could put in a Vote for Hillary bit here since she just unveiled her universal pre-K initiative but I'm politically ignorant, and quasi-apathetic, so I'll leave it at that. Side note: even though I'm politically confused about the next election, one thing I do know - I should've gotten a recommendation from the Senator when I was working for her. Damn.

If you're still bored and have nothing else to read, check out Sugar, the Wonder Dog on YouTube <<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRlOWm1K9Aw>>.

Note: By plotted, I mean I asked Yoda if I could annex some territory, and then I called facilities to rearrange the furniture.