TWoNNCotY Competition Questions IX

Click here for explanation of competition.
Click here for rules and helpful resources.

For other TWoNNCotY Competition Questions, see the scoreboard at the upper left hand corner of the blog.

Questions and Answers
Question 50: The cooking of what food cracked one of the Nu sisters' range?
Answer: Bun Rieu. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 4

Question 51: What was Freelance Midget's favorite band in 2004?
Answer: OK Go. (credit: Freelance Midget)
Points: 1

Question 52: What movie got a zero stars rating on TWoNN?
Answer: Havoc. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 2

Thank you to those who are participating but who have not commented. You know who you are.
*waves*
*hops off*

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Kitty Korner (3/24--Kitties' First Easter)

By now, TWoNN citizens should have received their Easter greeting e-card. The Nus had a wonderful, fun-filled Easter! The Nu kitties were especially content.

Skillet just lazed around all day. Look at her, almost slipping off of the windowsill! I had to go in for a closer look. Look at that face!! She must have heard me creeping up on her, so she woke up and stretched, but then went right back to sleep.

Kash, on the other hand, has been feeling under the weather lately, and just perched on Mr. Nonny Nu's shoulder all day. Give Mr. Nonny an eye patch and wooden leg, and Kash some feathers, and we'll be all set for Halloween.

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TWoNNCotY Competition Questions VIII

Click here for explanation of competition.
Click here for rules and helpful resources.

For other TWoNNCotY Competition Questions, see the scoreboard at the upper left hand corner of the blog.

Questions and Answers
Question 47: How did Nonny Nu pay for her stay at Mr. Nonny Nu’s establishments?
Answer: By Rick-rolling Mr. Nonny Nu. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 1

Question 48: What colors was the ceramic dish that was originally used to feed the Backyard Petting Zoo?
Answer: Light blue with black. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 5

Question 49: Which conductor was Kash recently photographed with?
Answer: Leonard Bernstein. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 4

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The French may be on to something...by Cl. Panic (blogger d'invité)

I've never been a huge macaroon fan. My Favorite Adult Associate, who cannot resist baked goods or coconut just loves them (she also likes Macaroon 5; they have some pretty catchy songs).

The other day, though, Willy Wonka carried around a little box for the first half of the day. He actually carried it to his own birthday lunch, and then carried it back to the office. As it turns out, he happened to be carrying around of a box of French Macarons (that's right, ONE O!) that he'd ordered from some high-falutin' bakery that knows how things are supposed to be done in the kitchen -- the French Way.

In the words of my favorite puppet, holy crap! These things were good! Now, they looked like little multi-colored sliders (see photo with NN's thumb's up), but tasted something like clouds scooped from heaver. Dessert heaven.

The French apparently know much, much more about how a Macaron is supposed to be made. I don't know when or where we Americans bastardized it, but our version does not do it justice. Sure this isn't the first time the French were right, but man did we really get it wrong!

So, Mr. Wonka has dedicated himself to making these things the right way. Apparently he not the first to become obsessed with such things. But I fully endorse his efforts and volunteer myself as a test subject to his baking ...

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Happy Easter, Party People!

(Artwork courtesy of Coach Nelson.)

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Sammich Chirality

I know that this blog entry is going to pull on the heartstrings of many, but most people are going to be too embarrassed to admit that they have the same problem. The problem? Sammich chirality.

There is a concept in science (Chemistry, in particular) called "chirality." Chirality is the existence of two molecules that are non-superimposable mirror images of each other. [What the gall-darned trash is she screamin' 'bout now? *places banjo on lap* *sucks on a straw* --Mr. Nonny Nu] The classic illustration that is used in Chemistry classrooms all over the world is the hand illustration. We can see chirality in our hands. They are mirror images of each other, but you cannot superimpose one upon the other. See here?

Okay, now, also in science (Chemistry, in particular) is something known as sandwich chirals. Now, I only got through basic college organic chemistry so I have no clue what the hell that is. You're on your own on that one.

But, mark this day as the day that Nonny Nu coined the term "sammich chirality," a variation of which is "sando chirality." *winks at Coach Nelson*

Alright. Sammich chirality--what is it? Believe it or not, this is a harder concept to explain than molecular chirality!! It applies to sammiches that are roll-based as opposed to slice-based. When you have a slice-based sammich, it doesn't matter how you eat it because it's open on all sides. You can spin that thing around, but when you bring it to your mouth, something is going to be dropping out of the bottom of that sammich. Okay, you get the idea. That's the problem with slice-based sammiches. Now, roll-based sammiches are a different matter. The nice thing about them is that they are closed on one side, thus limiting the leakage of the good parts of the sammich--the filling. Admittedly, you can't stuff as much into a roll-based sammich as you can a slice-based sammich, but there is really no substitute for that secure feeling you get with a roll-based sammich. Sometimes, though, people get greedy or lazy and they slice a roll all the way through, thus turning it into a slice and producing a slice-based sammich from a perfectly good roll. Those people are never welcome in my home.

Okay, so what have we learned about sammich chirality so far? Only that it applies to roll-based and not slice-based sammiches. We are now ready to actually view sammich chirality in all its splendor:



All I have done is taken a photo of a Lee's #5 sammich (above left) and made a mirror but non-superimposable image of it (above right). This, folks, is sammich chirality. Just like our hands, roll-based sammiches are chiral.

But, why should we care? Well, just like people, roll-based sammiches have an evil twin. You see, depending on your sammich eating habits, you are going to favor either the righty sammich (at right) or the lefty sammich (at left). Keep in mind that, with roll-based sammiches, you are supposed to position the closed side of the sammich downward. If you are right handed, you are more likely to tilt your head to the left, put your left hand under the sammich and steady the sammich with your right hand. If you are left handed, you are more likely to tilt your head to the right, put your right hand under the sammich and steady the sammich with your left hand. Try it right now! See?

So, when a right handed person (like me) encounters a lefty sammich, that just spells trouble. Now, the person has to tilt their head to the right, put their right hand under the sammich, and steady the sammich with their left hand, which is completely the opposite of what that right handed person is naturally inclined to do! Of course, they could turn their lefty sammich into a righty by flipping it so that the bottom of the roll faces the sky or start munching on the non-cut end of it, but who is willing to do that? Not me.

My sammich chirality problem is compounded by the fact that I grew up sitting to the television's stage right.* So, I was literally raised to eat with my head tilted to my left. Now, every time I get a lefty sammich, it almost kills all the joy of the sammich. I wish that there was an option to order lefty or righty sammiches, like there are options to order something with or without pickles. You wouldn't have to waste the rolls. After you sliced the roll in half, you'd just split them open on opposite edges like so to get two righty sammiches out of a single roll:



* Note that MonkeyPig chose to block herself into the corner so that she wouldn't have to get up to refill people's rice bowls. This is her regular practice. Even to this day, she will block herself in at restaurants and people's homes so that she doesn't have to get up in the middle of a meal to help out.

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TWoNNCotY Competition Questions VII

Click here for explanation of competition.
Click here for rules and helpful resources.

For other TWoNNCotY Competition Questions, see the scoreboard at the upper left hand corner of the blog.

Questions and Answers
Question 43: What brand of beverage does Mr. Nonny Nu’s friend recommend?
Answer: The Macallan (credit: Stillman)
Points: 4

Question 44: Who almost crashed with a government owned vehicle?
Answer: Man from U.N.C.L.E.'s little brother. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 5

Question 45: According to Nonny Nu, When should one distrust Maggi Sauce?
Answer: When it comes in a jar. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 2

Question 46: What does MonkeyPig put in her coffee?
Answer: Bo jai yuen. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 6

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Look What I Can Do!!

(Bonus TWoNNCotY points go to the person who can identify the character I'm thinking of who says that^^.)

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Smoking

Did I ever tell you that my favorite magazine is GQ? That, and MAD Magazine. The best part of MAD is the little cartoons they have in the margins. Those are the best, but so often overlooked. Also, I like the the folding back page where it looks like one thing flat, but something else when folded as instructed. It's called the MAD fold-in, and has been in every MAD issue ever since 1964. Okay, anywho, I let these two subscriptions lapse but, today, I made things right.

But, GQ is my favorite magazine. I just love to read about all the little details that go into a man's wardrobe, and the funky things they think about. For example, in the March 2008 issue (the one with Eric Bana on the cover), there is an article about how married men pretend to be single. Can you believe that?! Good read. And, no, I don't read GQ to keep tabs on my bear. I just think men are cool--I LOVE THEM! I don't know why, but I so much rather read about men's fashion than women's. Also, they tell me a lot of neat things from a man's point of view. (Check out their London '007: A Man's Guide to the Coolest City on the Planet--not points of interest that a woman would find on her own, right? I would love to visit all of these places!)

Okay, but I have a bit of a beef with GQ's readers. The February 2008 issue featured Josh Brolin on the cover smoking a cigarette. In the March 2008 issue that I'm reading now, a few readers wrote in about how appalled and disturbed they were to find GQ trying to make smoking look cool. (I'll post the letters later.) Okay, seriously, folks, is this really that a big a deal? We have all these "truth" anti-smoking commercials and entire cities that are now smoke-free zones. But, we can't even photograph a person smoking and put them on a magazine without being criticized anymore?

Look, I don't smoke. I tried it once and didn't understand what was supposed to be good tasting about cigarettes. But, you know what? Smoking does look cool on some people. I mean, check out Brolin smoking (on the cover as well as on a couch). Are you really going to sit there and tell me those cool pictures do not belong in GQ??? Drinking and speeding kill (jointly and separately), but I don't see people complaining about those things.

Also, what about those guys in the 50s and 60s? I think they looked cool:



Of course, the girls were no slouches either:


It seems to me that smoking does come across as being cool if done correctly. So, here I am reading GQ, a magazine that is all about cool, and I see reader letters complaining about the use of smoking as a cool device. What gives? Smoking looks cool, people! I think the editors handled it correctly. They looked through their archives and found only two other issues that featured a man smoking on the cover of GQ. All they said in reply was that they were aware of and acknowledged smoking's detrimental effects to health. Geez, Louise, people. I might take up smoking just to protest all this aggression against smokers.

[edit] Marlene Dietrich needs her own section, but not just because she was such a cool smoker. She also visited troops back in WWII. Here is an account of what she did, followed by more cool smoking photos:

Oh how I learned to love the medical staff and the Red Cross people. It took over a month but I recovered. My outfit was somewhere on the outskirts or Rome, thousands of Americans were storming the Normandy beaches, and I was well on the way to recovery, thanks to the marvelous support and medical attention of the300th General Hospital in Naples, Italy. I was among three thousand patients crowded into the 1000 bed facility. I had recovered to the point that I was mobile. Everyone was expected to pitch and help. I opted to help the Red Cross. Under the direction of Miss Mary Breen Ratterman from Alabama, the 300th General Red Cross detachment was a life saving miracle in action. Ms Ratterman was one of God's special angels and she loved her soldiers. She assigned to escort a USO troop that was arriving to entertain the troops. Bright and early, about 7:30 a.m. one morning I stood at the main entrance and welcomed the troop. To my delight the headline was the one and only Marlene Dietrich! She arrived in a rush, she returned daily for an entire week, she remained and left in a rush. It was her style.

First order of business was a show, presented to the patients who were able to gather in the huge cafeteria/dining hall. Marlene sang, did magic tricks and told raunchy jokes. She was clad in a translucent, shimmering blue gown, slit to reveal those million dollar legs; speaking of nice legs, I was and remain a "leg man.". Before she turned the show over to her supporting musicians and entertainers, she hiked up her dress and paraded across the stage. Then she started tossing autographed blue garters to the audience. There was pandemonium, bedlam. Wheel chairs collided; crutches and canes became weapons as the men fought to capture a prize. The authorities had to stop the show to keep from adding to the casualty list. Marlene then began a relentless, seven day, dawn to dusk tour of the entire hospital. She visited every room except the quarantine ward. She sang, she joked, she gave autographs, she flirted; she ran from bed to bed and room to room. I struggled to keep up with her. She never stopped. She lived on cigarettes, coffee and martinis worked 16-hour days every day, and was a hell of a trooper.

At one time she met up with Rita Hayworth's kid brother. He was wounded and distraught because he couldn't get a message home to tell his family that he was recovering. La Dietrich marched into the hospital commander's office, commandeered a phone and put through a call from Naples to Hollywood. She was able to link mother and son, transoceanic.

She was middle aged, she was a mother, in fact she was a grandmother, but unlike any grandmother that I had ever met. She was kind, caring and fun to be with. She autographed a picture for me and even signed a cartoon-like drawing that my girlfriend then, later my wife of many years, had sent me. Unfortunately the cartoon disappeared from the letter I sent to Jane. I always suspected some dishonest censor. I even tried to trace it but to no avail.

Finally the week was up and Marlene and company moved on. It was a tearful good bye. Few entertainers matched the Blue Angel with her husky voice, her glamour, and her genuine dedication to the troops. When she finally left I had to go back to bed for two days to recover from the pace of trying to keep up with her.

You can be certain that I became and remain an avid fan, loyal to memory of Marlene Dietrich-the lady who laughed at Hitler, refused his command appearance order and poured body and soul into the WW II effort.

[edit] Here are the letters to the editor of GQ:

My girlfriend and I look forward to receiving GQ in the mail every month--and then we fight over who gets to read it first. We always enjoy GQ's mixture of fashion-related, funny, and serious material. But the appearance of a cigarette on the cover with Josh Brolin was distasteful. I don't know aboutyou, but I see cigarettes in the hands of slobs wearing double-breasted suits or bib ties, not in the hands of GQ men. If you want to smoke, go ahead. Just don't try to make it into a statement of how chic or edgy your magazine is.
Leslie Schumacher
St. Paul, Minnesota

As the editor-in-chief of the number one men's magazine in the world, don't you think it is your responsibility to monitor the cover images you show? By printing "Josh Brolin: Return of the Tough Guy" next to the subject holding a cigarette, you are basically claiming that to be tough you need to smoke. You have a responsibility to your readers and advertisers, and this has crossed the line. I hope next time you review your covers, you think harder about the effect a picture has, especially on readers who are influenced by such images.
Ori Zemer
San Diego, California

Here is the response from Jim Nelson, GQ's editor-in-chief:

The cover shot of Josh Brolin is not an endorsement of smoking. We recognize, and have seen in our lives, the severe health risks and addictive nature of smoking, and we think that Mr. Brolin should get hypnotized, but we also acknowledge that, no matter what the science demonstrates, some people will continue to smoke. We aren't trying to make it cool. We continue to believe that the future will be largely smokeless, and we know that's a good thing.

Also included in the March 2008 issue of GQ is this awesome picture of Leonard Bernstein sporting cuffs and...drumroll please...a lit cigarette! Who knew Bernstein was cute?

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TWoNNCotY Competition Questions VI

Click here for explanation of competition.
Click here for rules and helpful resources.

For other TWoNNCotY Competition Questions, see the scoreboard at the upper left hand corner of the blog.

Questions and Answers
Question 37: According to Mr. Nonny Nu, under what two conditions can vegetables be trusted?
Answer: When they taste like marinated prime filet or when they are bought at a Pink Floyd concert. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 5

Question 38: Which sports team's subtle change to their logo was noticed by Nonny Nu?
Answer: Arizona Cardinals. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 4

Question 39: What are the three colors on Nonny Nu's running shoes?
Answer: Blue, purple, and white. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 2

Question 40: What is Nonny Nu's and her sisters' favorite vegetable?
Answer: Chinese Spinach. (credit: Man from U.N.C.L.E.)
Points: 2

Question 41: What phrase is used to describe a route or destination that was expected to be fun but turns out to be a bad decision, and the result of which is being glared at?
Answer: Christmas Tree Lane. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 4

Question 42: Who is the originator of the phrase, "Go, Goose, go!"?
Answer: Coach Nelson. (credit: Cl. Panic)
Points: 2

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Happy Birthday, Willy Wonka!!

Happy Birthday to Willy Wonka! I hope you like the chocolate hazelnut cake I baked for you. It has a layer of japanois and is topped off with a praline buttercream frosting. Yummmm!

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TWoNNCotY Competition Questions V

Click here for explanation of competition.
Click here for rules and helpful resources.

For other TWoNNCotY Competition Questions, see the scoreboard at the upper left hand corner of the blog.

Questions and Answers
Question 27: What is the name that Freelance Midget appears under on Nonny Nu's cell phone?
Answer: Butt Face. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 3

Question 28: How many glow-y shrooms did Mr. Nonny Nu order?
Answer: 1/8 oz. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 6

Question 29: What garnish do the Nus add to their Nachos Bell Grande and Mexican Pizza?
Answer: Green onions. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 2

Question 30: Why was Green Thumb McGillicutty's snowman considered non-traditional by some?
Answer: Departure from traditional three button suit on snowman. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 5

Question 31: Who almost killed Nonny Nu and MonkeyPig on their first trip to San Francisco?
Answer: Ca Loc. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 3

Question 32: Who thanked Nonny Nu for changing their blog entry byline without fixing their typos?
Answer: Cl. Panic. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 2

Question 33: How much of a pay raise was Man from U.N.C.L.E. supposed to get in 2006?
Answer: $2000. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 4

Question 34: How much did MonkeyPig's Florida bag cost?
Answer: $4.84 plus tax. [SPOILED]

Question 35: How many miles did MonkeyPig run in Fort Lauderdale?
Answer: 9 mi. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 1

Question 36: What are the names of the two black dogs featured on TWoNN?
Answer: Winston and Cotton. (credit: Stillman)
Points: 1

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Guys, You're Screwed.

<--I got one of these yesterday. Yep, a perm.

Don't freak out! After the 70s and 80s, "perm" practically became a four-letter word, I know. But, for chicks who have completely straight hair (like yours truly), it puts a little bounce in our steps. For an entire DECADE (literally--just ask my sisters), I have had a bob. I sorta got tired of it. So, I devoted about 9 months growing out my hair so that it would be long enough to put a loose perm in it. This was a little over a year ago when my hair was long enough, and this is the third perm I've had.

I know that the guys aren't going to understand this, but getting a haircut or changing our hairstyle in any way, shape, or form is traumatic for chicks. Whenever the participants in makeover shows have to get a haircut, they almost always express some type of apprehension about "taking too much off." And, this is when the makeover shows bring in world-renown professionals. Can you imagine what we ordinary girls are thinking when we go into a salon? This is why we procrastinate. Mr. Nonny Nu always has to "remind" me to get a haircut. But, what he doesn't know is that I've probably been thinking about going to get a haircut for days ahead of his reminder.

It wasn't too bad this time because it wasn't the first time I got it permed. But, when my hair was finally long enough for it, I was still iffy. Can you believe that?! I spent 9 months--that's a whole baby!--working toward this goal, and on the eve of having it realized, I was scared to take the plunge. Crazy, right? But, it happened. And, it happens every single time I get ready to go in for a haircut or a "styling." In fact, I feel like this right now because I can't wash my hair for 48 hours, which means I can't "make it the way I like it" until Sunday night after I wash it.

And, it's not just before the haircut that this freak out happens. It ALWAYS occurs after the haircut, no matter how much it cost or how expert the stylist supposedly is. This lady said it best: "we are not happy until we put our own spin on it!" SO TRUE.

Furthermore, husbands and other types of significant others, I'm sorry to tell you but you guys are damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you give constructive criticism, you have just substantiated our worst nightmare--we were right in believing that the haircut is horrid. If you say it looks nice, we know that you are just trying to avoid the horrid haircut. But, the worst, and I mean the very worst, is if you don't say anything at all. Okay, then, we know that
the haircut totally sucks ass and it's so bad that you guys can't even get yourselves to lie about it. So, choose your poison, guys.

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Happy Birthday to Augustus Pablo!

Happy birthday, Augustus Pablo! I know, I know, this isn't exactly the keyboard/flute thing that you play, but it's the closest I could find in birthday cakes. May your birthday be joyous and the rest of your days be sweet!

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That Goodness for Small Favors

Just a quick note to you all. Last night, I pulled an all nighter again, and worked on a 162 page document. You know, back in high school, I never thought I'd think of a 200 page limit as a negative. Anyhow, just now, I look at the document and it's only 112 pages.

O M G.

I was almost the guy depicted--screwed. But, no. Lucky rabbit, right?

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