Real Refugees of Washington, D.C. (Episode 4)

"Missing"

Emotions are low and the sisters are irritable as Ca Loc ends her visit and returns home. The remaining five visit historic Alexandria for a trolley ride and some very good Thai food. But, even good food isn't enough to stop Jean Cutter and 3-Fish from playing "Missing."* On their own, Wah Toh, MonkeyPig, and Nonny Nu traipse around Alexandria walking along the coblestone streets, admiring gas lamps, visiting George Washington's old haunts, and watching a colonial fashion show. While admiring the beautiful clothing of ladies, gentlemen, and children (including the detailing), it is established via a few cryptic text messages that "Missing" had commenced. But, the two groups find each other at an old crypt, and end up having a great time anyway.

*"Missing" is a game regularly played by a certain maternal figure in the Nu family (normally during a "pageant") whereby the figure pouts, goes off on her own, and screws up everyone else's day because everyone is busy looking for her instead of having fun together. Jean Cutter and 3-Fish were first time players of "Missing" but they played exceptionally well.

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Real Refugees of Washington, D.C. (Episode 2)

"What Shops Do They Have At The National Mall?"

The above question is asked by 3-Fish when the ladies visit the Capitol on a tour guided by someone from Sen. Brownbeck's office and rub elbows with DC's elite as they dine on reduced-priced buffet at the Dirken Senate Building. Nonny Nu makes a quick stop by the Supreme Court for a short photo op, but a visit to the National Cathedral is cut short when The Jean Cutter arrives. Tensions rise when the Jean Cutter is not met at the airport, and is instead instructed to get to the hotel on her own and that dinner will be from McDonald's. Fortunately, there is a culinary happy ending when the real dinner is revealed to be clams in black bean sauce and assorted other Chinese food items.

Awesome sights in this episode: underground trolly/subway system connecting important buildings in DC; center in the original basement of the Capitol from which the entire city radiates, as designed by city planner, L'Enfant; Capitol's dome; purple eggs at a local grocery store.

In the next episode, 3-Fish determines the menu without knowing it, and The Jean Cutter is moved by history. Ca Loc, however, remains unimpressed with the city.

Mystery Photo 1: Who is this and what is she doing?
Mystery Photo 2: Where is Mr. Nonny Nu in this photo taken inside the Hart Senate Building?

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The Real Refugees of Washington, D.C. (Pilot)

"Invasion"

In the pilot episode, the audience is introduced to the Nu Sisters. Nonny Nu arrives in DC and rendezvous with MonkeyPig at a local watering hole. Not wishing to be left out, Ca Loc confronts them at the bus stop, but ends up in a compromising position. The threesome are quickly joined by 3-Fish and Wah Toh, as they invade the capitol through the bus and the underground subway systems. Even the Navy Memorial was not prepared for such an invasion, and bowled over laughing as the sisters attempted to locate various countries on its world map. Undeterred, the Nu Sisters returned to their hotel room to plot another attack on the city.

Next time: Jean Cutter arrives in DC.

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Precious Moments

No, I haven't blogged in a long time. It's because I was buried under MOUNTAINS of work (ask Cl. Panic and Green Thumbs if you don't believe me). But what has dragged me out of the bleary-eyed just-wash-enough-clothes-to-get-me-through-the-week mode that I've been in? The almost indescribably creepy concept that is Precious Moments.

You all know what I'm talking about. Those figurines of angelic children with the large eyes? Yeah, those. But you must be wondering why these precious and momentous little things should creep me out, right? Okay, I'll tell you.

I received this email today from Midge:









Without reading the URL, I just clicked on the link and was greeted with this. "What's so creepy about that??" Right. Just bear with me. So, as you all know, 3-Fish is Midge's and Midge's Sister's mom. She is also MonkeyPig's and my sister. We all love her, but 3-Fish sometimes does things that are, well, to say the least, unexplained. 3-Fish lives in Kansas and there are not any Disneylands or Magic Mountains there. Instead, they have Silver Dollar City and the aforelinked Precious Moments Park.

Now, I have nothing against SDC. I love SDC. I remember eating a very tasty turkey leg at SDC. They also had great rides. But, PMP is another matter entirely. I was never creeped out by Precious Moments until I went to the park one time when MonkeyPig, Jean Cutter, and I were visiting the Fishes in Kansas. We parked, we got out of the car, paid for admission, and was allowed onto the grounds. Now, what do you think is the first thing that greets me? The thing that sets the tone for the entire visit?

A COMPLETELY SILENT, LIFE-SIZED PRECIOUS MOMENT INDIVIDUAL FLOATING TOWARD ME WITH ITS GINORMOUS EYES.

I thought I was having a Donnie Darko moment. If I am not mistaken, I swear I heard a low hum that didn't seem to have a source as the PMI otherwise noiselessly approached. I don't know if it was because the size, dead silence, and hover of that thing was totally unexpected, but that has creeped me out for over a decade. I believe that everyone else on the visit had the same reaction and are probably traumatized by that thing, too. Okay, with the exception of 3-Fish, who just loved the visit. *rolls eyes*

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Munchos

These are my all time favorite chips. Yes, siree bob! Unfortunately, my usual local distributor (Walgreens) has stopped stocking it so I have to find another way to take care of my fix. I even checked out 7-11 but they have stopped carrying it, too!

Oh, my dear little Munchos, where have you gone?? I miss your salty, oily, crunchity goodness...

*cries to the heavens*

Anywho, in searching for a pic of Munchos, I discovered that I am not alone, and that Munchos has quite a fan following! It even has its own Wikipedia entry. Look at those Yahoo! hits! Apparently, they are from the 70's. I knew I loved that decade!! Too bad most of my life during the 70s was spent in Vietnam and a refugee camp in Malaysia where they didn't have Munchos. And, the part that was spent in the US was during a time when chips were a luxury. I remember 3-fish picking me up from school when I was small and walking home with me. She'd buy me a small bag of chips (not Munchos--I didn't discover Munchos until 1995) and I'd have to suck on the chips instead of bite on them (to make them last longer). Oh! Wah Toh used to drive me to school when I was younger in the morning and she'd buy me a single McDonalds hashbrown and I'd nibble on it slowly. Fun times!!

Okay, back to Munchos. So, I didn't have the pleasure of personally meeting Munchos until 1995. I remember the day. I was driving from Cal-Poly, Pomona to North Hollywood to see Mr. Nonny Nu (this was before we got married). It was quite a long drive, nearly 40 miles, so I decided to stop at an Arco AmPm foodmart to get something to chomp on while I drove. I had seen that shiny, orange bag before, but I never bought it because, well, it looked not appetizing. But, I thought I'd just give it a try. So, I bought a bag of Munchos and a bag of BBQ Ruffles as back up. When I wrapped around my lips around that first Muncho, OMG, it was pure food ecstasy. I could feel the salt and oil seeping into my blood stream. Yes, it's that salty and oily. I've been hooked ever since. Did I also eat the Ruffles? Yes, I did, but that's beside the point.

OMG, those bastards at Frito-Lay... I just looked up Munchos on their site and the nearest place that carries them is 42 miles away. Grrrrrrrr...


Hang on. I have to mourn for a moment.

...Hold, please...

Okay. It's okay. I might be able to get them on Amazon!! And, yes, I'm getting the box of 64.

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Chinese Swan Lake

Wow! You guys have to watch this (courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. 3-Fish! It's the Chinese Circus doing their rendition of Swan Lake. They should have used this chick in the Olympics instead of the infants. I bet it really hurt when she stood on that one guy's skull. I know this because whenever Skillet or Kash stand on me with their little pointy feet, all of their weight is supported on four points and it's like having someone stab you with a dowel. Can you imagine how much pressure she's putting on that guy's head?? Ouch. Of course, only the Chinese would come up with something so artful, incredible, and ridiculous at the same time. Hey, I wonder how it will look if I stand on one toe on the top of your head? Let's try it!

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The Joy of Eating Porridge

When you are sick, do you eat chicken noodle soup? If you do, you are most likely not Chinese. Chinese people eat porridge when they are sick. This is our "comfort food." I'm not sure what Western porridge is made of, but Chinese porridge is just rice and water. You simmer one part rice to about five parts water and end up with this:

Tsohk = Porridge = Yum!

It's bland, sure, but that's the beauty of it. Now, porridge can be prepared with all sorts of stuff in it, like beef, seafood (teng tsai, which means "little boat"), roast duck with thousand year old egg*, anything you want! But, when little Chinese children (hereinafter, "Chinettes") are sick, their parents cook "white porridge" (bak tsohk) for them. That's just plain porridge with nothing in it. Okay, they'll add a little salt to give it some flavor. Okay, okay, you beat it out of me. They might add a little bit of ground beef and chopped onions, too. If the Chinettes are good.

Anyhow, that's what I like to eat when I'm sick. But, I like to eat tsohk even when I'm not sick! Surprised? Well, I like to eat bak tsohk when there are good accompaniments to be had. Now, look at what I packed for my lunch tomorrow to go with the bak tsohk that I bought for only $1 today:

Bamboo shoots with chili oil
Gluten with peanuts
咖哩齋鮑魚 trans: Curry Cha'i Pow Yu, a.k.a. Braised Gluten (Seitan Tidbits)**
四川辣腐乳 trans: Szechuan Brand Fermented Bean Curd (chunk) in Dressing with Chili***

But, here's the piece de resistance: Wah Toh's Homemade Fried Silver Fish. I received this in the mail last week, along with two Ding Dong towels. I wanted to open that thing up and eat the whole jar. But, no, I showed some self restraint and made preparations. I visited the newly opened Chinese market**** and bought all that stuff listed above just so that I could have some accompaniments for this little slice of heaven. So, add a humungous apple from 3-fish, and I am all set for tomorrow!


*Okay, if you want the skinny on the thousand year old egg, then read this. Look at how beautiful it is! Yeah, the whites (that have now turned a transparent coffee color) has the texture of Jell-o, and the yolk has a creamy texture and tastes like fermented salt. Don't knock it till you try it.

**Good grief. Isn't that the most useless translation you've ever seen? Here's the real poop: It's fake abalone in curry sauce.

***HAHHAHAHAHAA!!! OMG, okay, whenever I buy this stuff, I only look at the Chinese. I never really looked at the English translation until now, and you know what? I never thought of the liquid inside the jar as a "dressing!" Not sure why, but that is just hilarious to me! I actually had some trouble trying to open that jar (I had to heat the lid and tap it and really add some elbow grease). But, I didn't ask Mr. Nonny Nu to help me open it because he would completely freak out if he saw what it was. Yeah, that's why I thought I'd just keep it to myself. *crinkles nose* *nods*

****Look what you can do with some instant noodles, romaine lettuce, Chinese beef balls, and a microwave at work. I got so many of my childhood favorites!

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TWoNN Hall Meeting: TWoNN Citizen of the Year Award

Hello, world!

Today, I want to share a conversation with you. It is a deep and meaningful conversation that just puts a different perspective on things. I don't want to scare you, but I actually do have plans for our little blog. I like to call them "festivities," but feel free to apply your own labels.

In February, I challenged myself to post one blog entry per day. Okay, okay, so I chose the shortest month (but it is a Leap Year), might have underperformed sometimes, and deliberately announced the challenge in the marquee so there wouldn't be any actual evidence (e.g., a blog entry) of the promise I made. But it really got me to see that I can't just expect our blog to run itself. I must participate. I must treat it as a job (for lack of a better word, since this is one of the most enjoyable of the semi-regular activities in my life). I must make it a point to post here because "trying to" doesn't do it (the last entry I posted was four days ago).

But, this recent decline of blogging frequency is just one half of the participation puzzle. Another event has now forced my hand. I wasn't going to unveil this until March 15, but I fear it may be too late, so I will do it now. The one-year anniversary of TWoNN is coming up! April 15 is the date. Easy to remember, right? So, I had planned to conduct a trivia contest whereby a TWoNN Citizen of the Year is chosen. Of course, the selection will have a random slant to it (more on that later). But first, allow me to share with you the conversation that occurred earlier this week. This is the event that forced my hand.

Freelance Midget is favorite niece (don't tell your sister), and we chat during the day (via gmail) sometimes. She is a graduate of a prestigious university, and a very bright individual. One chink in her armor, I am grieved to reveal, is her knowledge of TWoNN history. Check it out (chat and email to be read in conjunction with each other):



Are you witnessing this? It seems that America's general blase attitude toward anything educational has seeped into TWoNN and its citizenry. One of the most important topics of TWoNN--Maggi Sauce, its origins and uses--completely forgotten by one of our brightest. Hang your head in shame, Midge. I hope your mom (3-fish) isn't reading this.

The above conversation and the realization that I must commit myself [insert crazy joke here] has encouraged me to launch the next TWoNN activity ahead of schedule. Okay, so, TWoNN Citizen of the Year--WHAT IS IT?? TWoNNCotY is a competition to determine who might be the most knowledgeable TWoNN citizen alive. The reason why I say "might be" is because I have devised a scoring system that has a random component. In the next month, I will try to come up with a trivia question each day* and the person who gets the answer first gets the points associated with the question. And, how many points does the answerer get? That will be determined by this. Yes, that's right. Either Mr. Nonny Nu or I will roll a die to determine how many points the person will get (and we won't do that until the question is answered--so don't even try to get all efficient and select only high-value questions to go after, Stillman).

The winner will be determined on April 15, and will receive a TWoNN trophy along with a certificate of appreciation. TWoNNCotY begins tomorrow, so be sure to look out for it!

Note: Play is suspended on the Chinese Idiom Game until TWoNNCotY is over, or it is revealed that Man from U.N.C.L.E. is actually Man from C.H.I.N.A., whichever occurs first.

* Like the Chinese Idiom game, the trivia question will change either when it is answered correctly, or when I can't stand it anymore.

[edit] Due to popular demand, the number of questions have been capped at 3 per day.

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Friskies Commercialby Sushi Cat (Madison Avenue guest blogger)

Hello, everybody!

How are you? I am fine. I have been a very busy kitty. Friskies International recently hired yours truly to film a commercial for them. So, I sat down at a windowsill and tried to figure out what was the best place a kitty could be. I came up with two and couldn't decide which one would be best--at home with the kitty's momma and daddy, or in Pet Paradise. So, being the writer and director of the commercial, I decided to put both in! I found a male model named "Morris" to star in the commercial (he lives next door to me in Pet Paradise), and the rest of my pals also pitched in. Here is the commercial:


Morris as Himself
Written and directed by Sushi Cat
Produced by Cotton Doggie (Mr. Nonny Nu's doggie)
Cinematography by Mr. Jones (Man from U.N.C.L.E.'s kitty)
Sound by Happy (PurpleNiobe's doggie)
Catered by Jennie, Craft Service's PP representative (PurpleNiobe's doggie)
Hair and Makeup by Coco (3-Fish's and Freelance Midget's doggie)
Gaffer...Jazmine (PurpleNiobe's doggie)

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The Durian Doesn't Fall Far From the Refugee Tree

For the gwailo's among us, durian may be a complete mystery. This may even be their first exposure to the fruit. If you are a foodie and watch Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Foods TV show, you might be familiar with the fruit (since it is one of only three things that Andrew Zimmern could not eat). But, to refugees like Nonny Nu and her sisters, durian is like Heaven, a very stinky but tasty Heaven. It is really very good if you can get past the smell (kinda like refugees).

Anyhow, why am I telling you about durian? Well, because I see durian as somewhat symbolic of Asian refugees. And, what do Asian refugees do? They bring their own snacks to the movie theatre. One of my dreams is to have a Lee's sammich (#5) while watching a good movie in the theatres.

Okay, but back to my story. This weekend, Freelance Midget's Sister is visiting the SF Bay Area. (Welcome, FMS!) The two girls came to the Nu residence on Saturday. We played Monopoly* and it was kinda fun to watch the two sisters go at each other like a couple of Orcs. I owned Baltic and Mediterranean, the two cheapest properties. I built a hotel on each of the properties, and welcomed my guests several times, though (Mr. Nonny Nu stayed twice--once in my Mediterranean hotel and once in my Baltic hotel). I also owned the Yellow properties (Atlantic, Ventnor, and Marvin Gardens). Mr. Nonny Nu owned the pricey ones--Park Avenue and Boardwalk--and also the upper middleclass Red properties (Kentucky, Indiana, and Illinois). Freelance Midget owned the Light Blue properties (Oriental, Vermont, and Connecticut) and the Orange properties (St. James, Tennessee, and New York). I was immune in those two areas, though. FMS owned the Green Properties (Pacific, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania). Long story short, Freelance Midget got the Free Parking money several times, FMS did a great job refusing to bargain with anyone (making my slum hotels the only improved properties on the board for a long while), and, while I was feeding the cats, Mr. Nonny Nu got declared the winner. Don't ask how that happened. I couldn't tell you--I wasn't there!

Okay, sorry, that was yet another tangent. Oh, wait! Just one more tangent before I get back to the story. I made a cheese plate with brie, harvarti, and gouda with assorted crackers and it was a hit!

Now, I will go back to the story. Yesterday, I went to see No Country for Old Men with Freelance Midget and FMS. These girls were born in the US, and are one generation from refugee-ness. In fact, their mother, 3-Fish, is the least refugee-like of all of us sisters. Yet, these two durian did not fall far from the refugee tree. Lo and behold, when we were in line for the tickets, Freelance Midgets whispers in my ear and says that she "brought snacks." I couldn't believe my ears. That's my girl! We brought in egg tarts, fruit tarts, and cake rolls (we had coffee and chocolate). We did purchase Icee and a root beer, and some Dibs, though.

* OMG! There's a London version of Monopoly!! I'm going to try to get that one. I LOVE LONDON AND ANYTHING ENGLISH!!

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TWoNN's (Inaugural) Thanksgiving Photo Contest

Hello, fair citizens! Here are the contest photos (finally). Remember, there are two categories:
1) Best Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat), and
2) Best Setting in a Supporting Role.

This year, we have three contestants each submitting photos for both categories.

Freelance Midget
We had a wonderful meal yesterday. Freelance Midget's sister cooked a delicious and juicy turkey using Elton Brown's recipe. Freelance Midget was responsible for the green bean casserole and lovely table setting. They were very helpful with the cleanup, too. Nonny Nu is having a contest on the best bird/meat and table setting on her blog site. So Freelance Midget submitted the photos. Win or not, we think we had the best Thanksgiving with the kids home!
(Thanks to 3-Fish for the lovely description.)

Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat)


Setting in a Supporting Role


Cl. Panic
When he heard about the paltry Thanksgiving photo submissions, Cl. Panic rose to the occasion. Below are the photos that he submitted. I have categorized them as best as I know how. I assume that the angled setting is designed especially for the consumption of the Other Thanksgiving Meat.

Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat)


Setting in a Supporting Role


Nonny Nu
Hello! Welcome to my submissions! Here, you will see the Trader Joe's turkey I got for our Thanksgiving feast. According to the turkey's obituary on the back of its packaging, the turkey lived a wonderful life. It was a fresh-never-frozen free range turkey, and had plenty of sunshine, room to run around in, and wore silk pajamas to bed every night. It enjoyed knitting and scrapbooking. I had planned to cook it in the Ronco, but it didn't fit. So, I used the oven. I did about 5 minutes of researching on it, and was tipped off that I should roast it breast side down for the first half and then breast side up for the last half. That boosts the juiciness. It worked! (See the close up photo, but you have to look at it at an angle. I don't know what happened, but it's like my camera took a holographic photo or something.) Afterward, Mr. Nonny Nu and I played Call of Duty 4.

Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat)


Setting in a Supporting Role



Who submitted the best photos for Turkey (or Other Thanksgiving Meat)?


Who submitted the best photos for Setting in a Supporting Role?

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Are those instructions about linked text clear enough?

"Clear enough for what, Nonny Nu?," is what I'm guessing will be the immediate response. Well, clear enough for my Internet-challenged sisters to understand. So far, only three have shown up (guest blogger MonkeyPig, Ca Loc, and Wah Toh). The two in the middle (3fish, and [insert name here]*) have not shown up. 3fish at least checks her email somewhat regularly (although she is notorious for writing ESSAYS for responses). [insert name here]* doesn't even check her email (not really--once in 2-3 months doesn't really count). Instead, she uses a PAGER. Yeah, a PAGER. Can you believe this chick? That is so 80s.

*The reason why I don't have a name for her is because she actually doesn't have a nickname. Don't get me wrong, we call her all sorts of names, but just not anything that would fall under a "nickname" category.

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