Happy Birthday to sluggy !!

Another year, another trail of slime, sluggy!! I hope you have a wonderful day with the people who are special in your life. Here is a cake to celebrate:
It was really hard to find a slug cake, so I hope you enjoy it. Many more slimy trails!

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Hiking APB... by sluggy (intrepid guest blogger)

Nonny Nu has declared herself unavailable for the next two weekends... are any local Friends of Nonny Nu interested in hiking either weekend? I offer bacon, and expert banana slug tracking skills, and promise to wince, point and holler "watch the crap" upon sighting horse poop. We shall lament the absence of Nonny Nu, declare it not nearly as much fun without her, and never speak of the hike again. But you will grin with the knowledge you lived "a day in the life of Nonny Nu."

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Happy Birthday to TWoNN !!

Hello! Today is TWoNN's first birthday. Even though this is The World of Nonny Nu, I hope you all feel like this is your own home. Thank you to everyone who has made this blog so lively and interesting!

Pictured on the right is a gift basket I received from sluggy this morning. It was decorated with slugs, butterflies, and an Asian rabbit. It was filled with many goodies that we have come to know and love from the blog: Maggi sauce, Wonder Bread, bacon, husband pleasing beans, Beano (sluggy thinks of everything!), cream cheese frosting, granola, General Foods International Cafe Vienna, and some vino for Mr. Nonny Nu--Bear Boat pinot noir! There are other wrapped goodies in the basket, but I'm going to wait till I get home to open those. Here's sluggy's new stationery and her words of congratulations. Thanks, sluggy!

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Under Siegeby sluggy (housebound, terrified and highly caffeinated guest blogger)

Scene: A beautiful cloud-free Sunday. The air is still and a balmy 65 degrees. Birds chirping, squirrels running about. The distant hills, the mountain bike in the garage, the muddy hiking boots next to the door all beckon. Sluggy, however, is trapped inside her house, quivering (1) with doors barricaded.

Let me start at the beginning.

One benefit of being Nonny Nu’s hiking companion (2) is enjoying the splendor of nature … au naturale. Whoa people, I mean nature in its natural state, not NN and I cavorting like naked nymphs in horse dung in the Phleger Estate! Minds out of gutter? (3) Please proceed.

As a lover of nature, my absolute favorite thing to do (4) is try to bring a little nature back to where others have left desolation in their wake. This would describe my yard… the ugliest part of which was a nasty side “alley” that barely separates my house from my neighbors.

Over three years, I have spent many weekends working to bring a little nature back to this wasteland and make it a palatable place to pass through and view from the kitchen window. (5)

On a postage-stamp sized lot, it is necessary to use every square foot wisely so I squeezed in some tomato plants (6) and a potted herb garden.

This morning, as sluggy toured the “estate” with coffee in hand, I paid a visit to the veggie and herb section. For no particular reason, the oregano caught my attention.

Is it getting too much water? Not enough? Turning over the pot, I spied THIS squatter living in the side yard paradise!!!!

Sluggy hightailed it inside, heart pounding from this unexpected faceoff with her arch nemesis. (7) The spotted salamander is a CARNIVORE, and EATS SLUGS, people! Supposedly it only ventures out at night. Perhaps I can go out as long as I am barricaded back in before nightfall. These salamanders return to the same mating pool every year, and will travel long distances over land after a heavy rain to mate. (8) They secrete a noxious, milky toxin from their glands (9) to dissuade predators.

Sluggy welcomes suggestions for how to handle the next battle in what is sure to be an epic war to win back the veggie/herb section. The first tomatoes ripen in just two months, not to mention the precious potential visitor (10) whose safety is paramount.

Shall I place a green chair out there as a territory-marking throwdown? Borrow an overpowered shredder capable of cross-cutting Bobby into gushy 5/64" x 5/16" bits?

To be continued...

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(1) And not in that good, Fluff-induced way.

(2) A second, even greater, benefit is tempting Nonny Nu with bacon she will never ever get no matter how much she bitches about it. Too bad she canceled today’s hike because I had 12 precooked bacon strips ready to go in a fluffy cushion of shock-absorbing paper towels sealed in a ziplock baggie.

(3) Out of gutter for now. It is permissible for TWoNN dudes to retain the image in their “vault” for later use except, of course, Man from U.N.C.L.E. who may substitute the Rev. Dr. Terry Valentine for sluggy and Cl. Panic for Nonny Nu. Dung element optional. You know who you are.

(4) Even more than writing briefs and working all nighters, alas, ‘tis true.

(5) This involved stripping and staining the fence, building and staining a trellis, planting vines, watching the vines die in frost, crying, finding and planting new vines. The new vines are supposed to bloom various colors of white, yellow and red but have yet to do that. If they ever get around to it, there should be butterflies and hummingbirds a-plenty!

(6) Planting tomatoes in dry, nutrient-starved ground in a location that gets only a few hours of sunlight a day goes against conventional gardening wisdom, but last year the plants grew to over 8 feet!

(7) Sluggy is accustomed to idle references to salt attacks but this attack is coming from inside the homestead.

(8) Not unlike Bobby Peru. Well, actually, sluggy too. If there is a group salamander mating party, I promise to post photos for the prurient enjoyment of all except those subject to the freakishly puritanical Nu, Nu & Nu internet filter.

(9) Another similarity to Bobby Peru. I think I will name the salamander Bobby.

(10) Shameless excuse to mention most perfect niece and try to make footnotes exceed length of post.

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Good Trash TV

Now that you've all been exposed to my high falutin' viewing of BBC shows, lemme tell you about my love of trash TV. Would you believe that your dear little rabbit used to love watching The Jerry Springer Show?* Sometimes, you just have to have some topless fat chick with your Jane Austen, okay? I'm just sayin'.

But, I'm not talking about any old trash. I'm talking about the good trash. Here are ones that I currently like:

Rock of Love
Flavor of Love
Charm School
Celebrity Fit Club
My Fair Brady
Pick-Up Artist
Scott Baio is 46 and Single/Pregnant
I Know My Kid's a Star

Gosh, I guess that makes me a VH-1 fan, doesn't it? I don't know why, but I just love watching these shows. Where do they find these outrageous people?? It's almost as if you have to have some issues or else you don't get picked to be on the show.

And, those "of Love" shows are ridiculous. First of all, I can't believe they can't get better looking chicks on these shows. (Oh, dear, get ready for sluggy's "you're biased against women" tirade...) On Rock of Love, Bret Michaels said one of the contestants was one of the hottest groupies ever. Wha...? Take a look for yourself:
And, no, I didn't purposely choose a bad shot of her. But, seriously, a hot groupie would be Bebe Nuell:Which is why, even with Steven Tyler's face, you still get:
Okay, let's see the side by side comparison:
One has eyebrows and looks like a woman. The other? Not so much. As G.O.B. would say, come on!

Oh, the second thing about those "of Love" shows that make me cringe is when the dude kisses one chick and then turns around and kisses another one. GROSS. We are talking about deep sea diving kisses here, not pecks on the cheek. YUCK.

But, the ridiculousness of these shows is what gets me watching all the time. It's so insane the stuff they do! This Sunday, I will be watching Viva Hollywood, which is a competition to find the next telenovella star for Telemundo. The previews looked completely crazy, people! And, yes, Mr. Nonny Nu watches with me, thank you.

*I have outgrown Jerry Springer, folks, so you don't have to worry about me.

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