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Friday, April 11, 2008

Retail Therapy: ID Theft Edition
by. Cl. Panic, pulveriser of paper (and guest blogger)

There are few things I hate more than credit card "convenience" checks. Every day or so they show up, either enclosed with an account statement or arriving on their own. Unlike artichokes, nothing positive can be said about them. They are a nuisance and a scourge.

As consumers we're warned to watch out for ID theft. Make sure we don't leave important documents laying around. Protect our checkbooks. Be wary of disclosing financial details. Don't put anything finance related in the regular trash. And yet the finance industry can't stop sending credit card offers and convenience checks.

I've been in the market for a new shredder. Apparently older strip-cut shredders don't cut it anymore; their pieces are easily reassembled by meth addicts or other neer-do-wells. There's even software out there that reassembles scanned strips.

Wandering the aisles of Costco, America's best shopping locale, I found the answer I'd been looking for: The Fellowes MS450-cs micro cut shredder. This bad boy churns out 5/64" x 5/16" bits, turning a sheet of paper into something like 3,900 pieces.


On the same day that I bought the shredder, Discover Card sent me an envelope marked "Account Documents - Open Immediately." Inside I found a booklet of convenience checks. Hardly my definition of an important account document. Something had to be done.

Here's what the MS450 did to a single check:

Now that's a good looking convenience check. And those tiny little particles were created with almost no noise from the shredder whatsoever!

Now I just need to wait for a credit card application from Discover Card so I can enclose all of those little bits and return them in the envelope provided....

28 comments:

sluggy said...

you can call the credit card co and request that they send no convenience checks, other solicitations, or share your info with any other companies.

Nonny Nu said...

RE: meth and ID theft
I thought the article was going to tell me that the meth addicts were sitting there piecing the shredded convenience checks together or something. What a disappointment!

RE: sluggy
The thing about sluggy is that she solves your problems for you (with words equivalent to "you're a nimrod") when you just want to vent. I have experienced this many times throughout our acquaintance.

sluggy said...

The thing about sluggy is that she solves your problems ... when you just want to vent.

Come on now.

Panic isn't venting, he likes to feed things into shredders and chippers. If I can stop his supply of convenience checks then we may get posts about some really interesting shredding projects.

Mr. Nonny Nu said...

is that all you people can think about while i'm having a crisis! i cannot watch television over here!

*wails like 9-yr-old girl trying to stop the ice cream man*

~ ~ ~

Nonny Nu said...

This is true. I hear that the TV has gone out at the ol' homestead. TWoNN just got bumped to prime time, folks!

Mr. Nonny Nu said...

you! it's your fault! you never liked our television set, you never pampered it like you should've. i'd see you rub up against it harshly, acting as though you were dusting. it's your fault o'reilley is about to come on and i'm sitting here alone, with the cats, helpless...

'oh, let's buy a fancy shmancy plasma.' what's that tell you, huh? what's that say about where your heart is!

eeyyee-blaaaaame-yoooooooooou!


~ ~ ~

sluggy said...

time for 52" sharp aquos lcd

Mr. Nonny Nu said...

what, you have a coupon?

~ ~ ~

Support Desk said...

<Offshore helpline voice>
Can you be pleased to verify that the device is plugged into the electrical outlet?

Can you please to plug something else into the outlet to be sure it is working properly?
</Offshore helpline voice>

Cl. Panic said...

http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=11270290

Nonny Nu said...

http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=11270290
Mr. Nonny Nu! Let's get one! We can afford it now, what with Reverent Doctor Terry Valentine, Bobby, and Lola chipping in for household expenses. Both Cl. Panic and sluggy think we should. (So does Green Thumbs.)

Mr. Nonny Nu said...

that does look like a perty good'n.

~ ~ ~

sluggy said...

I think you want the LC52D64U model (52" and the "64U" product no, which is the most recent and has 3 HDMI inputs rather than 2 for you cable/dvd/video game folks.)

try pricegrabber.com and amazon.com (esp with amazon prime, free shipping)

Cl. Panic said...

You're going to pay about $1000 more for those 6". Though Bobby would probably say that's worth it.

sluggy said...

It's worth it. I already wish I went bigger. And these guys have a massive tv now.

sluggy said...

oh and it's only about 700 more through pc video online (search pricegrabber.com), including shipping. I got my tv from them and it came within a week, no tax, well packaged from NYC.

Nonny Nu said...

The 52 incher is $2200 ($800 more).

Mr. Nonny Nu?

Cl. Panic said...

The Man Code prohibits Mr. NN from objecting to his wife's offer of a larger TV.

Nonny Peru said...

Though Bobby would probably say that's worth it.
So would the missus.

Cl. Panic said...

Of course, the question is: Can Mr. NN survive for 1 week without at TV???

Mr. Nonny Nu said...

then, by gum, let's do it! wheeeeeee!

~ ~ ~

Mr. Nonny Nu said...

Can Mr. NN survive for 1 week without at TV???

*spews food* ?uh, a wekkee, a f'n week!?

~ ~ ~

sluggy said...

Nonny Nu said...
The 52 incher is $2200 ($800 more).


I believe the 62U line you guys keep referring to at Costco had banding problems. The 64U line is newer, thinner, lighter and the banding problems were solved. Hence the fire sale on 62U, which also only has 2 HDMI inputs (vs 3 in 64U).

Of course all these issues are probably irrelevant to the average user/naked eye but still.

sluggy said...

"Nonny Peru said...
Though Bobby would probably say that's worth it.
So would the missus."

Hold up, was that actually Nonny Peru????

Get this woman some fluff and some privacy, stat!

Cl. Panic said...

She just had the Fluff...

sluggy said...

Okay, then I'll definitely have what she's having and I don't mean the claim charts.

Nonny Peru said...

And, I'm going to have cool whip sammiches for dinner (on white bear...I mean, bread).

sluggy said...

have at it... 'night nimrods.