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Friday, January 25, 2008

What the holy hell happened last night??

Last night, I had to pull an all-nighter at work. Wasn't fun, but at least I wasn't the only one. So, I get back to the house at around 7:15 this morning. Mr. Nonny Nu had mentioned that Kash had prodigious "droppings" yesterday, but I was not prepared for it. The air was still and heavy. Kinda moist, and not in a good way.

There are two litter boxes, one to the left and the other to the right of the door inside the laundry area. I pushed open the door, went in, and spotted Mount St. Helens in the left litter box. It was still smoldering. The poopy wasn't covered, so I know it was Skillet and not Kash. Everytime I see them poop, she just leaves it uncovered. He always covers his stuff up. If she were a person, she'd be one of those people who don't flush. She's just that way. She is so not ladylike, it's not even funny. And, her mouth always smells like she just ate a pterodactyl, so when she cleans herself, her entire body smells like ass. It's like someone just flipped her inside-out, like a shirt--a shirt worn by a sweaty septic tank. Anyhow, it was a huge dump. I'm talking huge. It was bigger than her head. If someone were to ask, "Hey, guess who took a dump huger than their head?," I would be surprised. But, if forced to guess, I'd guess Skillet. That's just the way she rolls.

So, I get to cleaning the litter box out. I scoop it out and twisty tie the bag. I get another bag to get the smaller droppings. But, why does it still reek? Ah, I check out the other litter box, which has yet another and similarly sized cat paddy. Okay, fine. So, I bend down to scoop that one up. Right at that moment, I hear what sounded like a whoopie cushion going off behind me. I turn around, and there she is copping a squat and dropping off yet another package. I looked at her, but she just kept reading her imaginary newspaper.

For those of us who are counting, the three droppings weighed a total of 1.7 pounds. Skillet weighs about 4.5 pounds. So, she pooped over a third of her weight in one day.

But you know what? I wouldn't trade her in for anything.


cl. panic said...


I know your pain.

Nonny Nu said...

Cl. Panic, have you pooped 1/3 of your weight recently? Are you trying out the NEW South Beach Diet?