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Saturday, September 22, 2007

El Paso's Chile Pepper Challenge

Did I ever tell you about MonkeyPig and her competitiveness? Well, if you ask her directly, she will deny it until the cows come home.

"Noooooooo..., I'm not competitive...." *shit-eating grin*

But, 9 out of 10 people who know MonkeyPig personally, including her BFF and Mr. Nonny Nu, will bear witness to her competitiveness. Of course, I will also bear witness to her competitiveness, as you can see I am doing now, and will always willingly take time out of my full life to provide supportive evidence of said competitiveness to all who wish to know about it as well as to anyone else who has a spare moment and has not been alerted to it. Yes, dear citizens of TWoNN, MonkeyPig is competitive.

How competitive, you ask? Well, she's a runner, and is addicted to endorphines (this will also be denied by her upon direct questioning). She runs about 2 times a week for about 7 miles. Yes, she's fit, but marathon fit? Well, we didn't know she was marathon fit until she decided out of the blue to run the El Paso Marathon--on the morning of the marathon. She didn't train for it. She just did it. I know, I know. You're thinking that Nonny Nu is just exaggerating because it sounds like MonkeyPig is just superfit. Well, no. You see, if she trained for the marathon, then it wouldn't be as big a deal as she would like it to be. So, she purposely didn't train for it just to see if she could do it on a whim. What a bitch, right? I told you so.

Then, there was the memorial of the Bataan Death March. Every year around BDM time, the march is re-created in El Paso (or somewhere around there) by the military and people run a marathon in commemoration of the march. The idea is to commemorate the event, you know? It's not really a race. And, those who don't start early enough can just do the half-march. Now, MonkeyPig wanted to participate but couldn't get there early enough, and had a problem with doing the half-march. Why? BECAUSE IT WASN'T A MARATHON AND WOULDN'T GIVE HER BRAGGING RIGHTS. Yes, she denied this, but her BFF told me it's true and I concur. When confronted with this, MonkeyPig looked like this so we know it's true.

There is nothing that MonkeyPig won't be competitive about. She even bragged to me once that she has a bigger bladder than I do. Wow. I'm so bested. I must train my spleen to become larger than hers. Oh, wait, someone doesn't have a spleen after her splenectomy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! I win!!!

Now, she joined the El Paso Bicycle Club and she's going to participate in the Chile Pepper Challenge. As you can see, there are several length options: 10mi mile, 34mi mile, 50mi mile, 62mi mile, and 100mi mile routes. (Deptarment of Redundancy Department is going to die after reading this...) Guess which route Ms. Competitive is taking?


MonkeyPig said...

I am totally in shock by this.

This is totally not true. I can sue you fo slandering.

I happened to have time for the marathon.

I happened to be off this weekend.

Nonny Nu, you are officially off the beneficiary list.

Nonny Nu said...

Well, what do you know? MonkeyPig denies being competitive. I hate to say it (well, not really), but I told you so.

This is totally not true.
Translation: here.

MonkeyPig said...

102.78 miles. 7 hours, 2 granola bar, 1 goo pack, 3 liters of water, one banana, 1/4 orange, and two very sore cheeks...its totally worth it.
To prove to Nonny Nu that I wasn't competitive, our group came in last.

Nonny Nu said...

our group came in last
No wonder when I asked you who won the race, you said you didn't know and that it wasn't a race. LOSER!!

caloc said...

That is very sad, M.P are you letting NNN talk to you like that, I just can't believe it, say something nasty back to her