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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Long-Haired Men--Should They Be Stoned?

I mean "stoned" in the Biblical sense, and not the Haight-Ashbury sense. This is a pet peeve of mine, and since I can't think of anything else to rant about, I'm going to rant about this. Men have it so easy. All you guys have to do is shit, shower, and shave in the morning, put on a suit and tie, and you're done. You don't have all that other stuff to do that we women have to worry about (e.g., slacks or skirt, blouse or sweater, purse or bag, headband or ponytail). But, some of you guys can't even do that. Just look at this man here:No, I'm not talking about the one in the foreground with the caterpiller on his lips. I'm talking about Paul Newman, the best looking man I've ever seen in my entire life. (Sorry, Mr. Nonny Nu.) Now, if there's a reason why you're scruffy and dirty, then I'm fine with that. For example, if you were asphalting a highway, running from the law, roping a pig, or leading a group of people through Indian territory, then okay, I can handle it. You can always clean yourself up afterwards. But, why else would you have to have long hair or a scruffy face?

Seriously, folks, just look at the difference, will you?

______________________Lame:


______________________Hot:


Now, why can't all of you guys do that? About the only man I can think of who actually looks better when he's scruffified is Viggo Mortenson, but that's because he has such a small face with the tiny teeth:

______________________Hot:


______________________Girlie:


Okay, but back to the issue. What's the problem with society today that men don't even do these basics (keeping their hair short, their faces shaved, and their bodies in a suit--cowboy suits also work)? I know that it takes less time to just have short hair and no beard than it takes to do those ridiculous fauxhawks to achieve that "I'm too cool for good hygiene" look. Isn't it time that we stop fawning over these dirty clowns?

[edit] Alright, alright, I didn't mean it that harshly. I'm okay with a *little* scruffiness and non-suits as long as the outfit looks clean and not weird. But, the hair must go. There's just no reason for long hair on men. As GOB says, come on!!

7 comments:

Augustus Pablo said...

I know you're not referring to any of your colleagues, who just might have legitimate reasons for having to rush to the office without shaving...and who believe business casual is an abomination against God and man alike, and therefore choose casual when natty suits would clearly not do...and keeping in mind that the office is itself in a barely-glorified strip mall in the ungroomed crotch of the Bay Area, hardly the most fashionable of locales. Just sayin'.

Nonny Nu said...

OMG! How can you say that about the office, Augustus Pablo? It's not San "Gimme a hit, man..." Francisco (a.k.a., Beggars' Paradise), but I like it that way. My big city days are over. I have realized that I belong in the burbs. They're more rabbit-friendly. I am so pleased with our location. Rolling hills, tree tops, no one-way streets, all-you-can eat carrots--it's a rabbit's dream come true. And, no, I am not referring to my colleagues. I don't have any male colleagues with long hair so I won't be stoning anyone between the hours of 9am and 9pm tomorrow.

Pulcinella said...

"the office is itself in a barely-glorified strip mall in the ungroomed crotch of the Bay Area, hardly the most fashionable of locales."

ah-haha! we need to print this and scatter them by the thousands over the skies of santana row.

"How can you say that about the office, Augustus Pablo?"

i'm not exactly certain, nn, but he just *might* be saying this tongue-in-cheek.

and i would like to take this moment to point out some p.c. hypocrisy. you don't see us men writing about how you women should all be in stilettos, fishnets, and showing as much cleavage as is allowable by local statute now do you. (i mean, that's just plain commen sense. point is, we don't actually write it! so, perhaps you should be a bit more, um, delicate and sensitive when addressing us in the way you have so harshly.)

~ ~ ~

Man from U.N.C.L.E. said...

Sorry, Nonny Nu, but I have to disagree with you there. The five o'clock stubble thing is soooooooo sexy!!! To me, it shows a dude is producing lots and lots of testerone!!! Not to get too graphic, but you know he's gonna be rough in the saddle. Different, ahem, strokes, I guess.

Nonny Nu said...

you don't see us men writing about how you women should all be in stilettos, fishnets, and showing as much cleavage as is allowable by local statute now do you.
Oh, stop being coy. I get your drift, "Pulcinella." But you didn't like it so much the last time my stilettos speared your big toe.

The five o'clock stubble thing is soooooooo sexy!!!
Yeah, but only at five o'clock! Not at 9am in the morning on some dude behind a desk. That's so fake!! You have to have a reason to be wearing that shadow.

Deptarment of Redundancy Department said...

You want to know MY pet peeve? RAR: Redundant Acronym Redundancy.

Like when people say "ATM machine" or "PIN number" or "AM in the morning".
If I didn't have to spend so much time shitting, showering and shaving, I might just write some pithy blog entry about RAR!

Nonny Nu said...

Welcome, Deptarment of Redundancy Department! I am not so picky about the "ATM machine" RAR, but I imagine that you and your colleagues would find them annoying and aggravating. Would you like some stones? I have extras.