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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Christmas On Any Day of the Year!
by Cl. Panic (forgetful guest blogger)

I love ordering things online.


Sure, you minimize the chance of needing to deal with a dumb broad at the register.* Even better, though, you minimize the change of running into to putzy customers. Take for example, the genius that decided to use the self-checkout at Home Depot today--to purchase several bags of concrete.

For anyone that has ever used a self-checkout line, you know the problem this creates. Knowing that every red blooded American will try to game the system by swapping price tags or not ringing everything up, the machine relies on an intricate system to encourage honesty: the scale. Now, we know that the scale keeps all of the weight watchers honest, so it simply must work in the retail setting as well. Basically, you scan your merchandise, and are then forced to put it in a bag. The computer weighs the bag each time to make sure you didn't scan the barcode for a nail, but actually cash in on a new blender.

You see the problem? Aside from scanning the bag of cement, you need to bag it. Or, in actuality, you need the supervisor to intervene. Next time, just go to the regular cashier line. The world will thank you.


But the best part of ordering online is that it turns an ordinary day into Christmas. First, there's the anticipation (when will it ship!). Then you get to track Santa's sleigh (hello FedEx tracking!). And finally, the box arrives.
What could possibly be in there? Let's find out!
Now, I know what should be in there... but the shape of the box has thrown me. Let's see...
Oooh, it's like those Russian Dolls...
Getting closer...
Good thing there's an anti-static bag since static is just about the only disaster that could permeate the layers of packing material....
Soooo close... what did Santa bring me?
4GB of high speed Multi Media Card goodness. That's like 1100 photos before a download is required. Sweet!

Thank God they didn't overpackage it.

* Note: This does not reflect the opinion of the author in case his mother reads the blog... Dumb Broads have been shamelisted by everyone's favorite rabbit. No, the other one.**

** Gotta keep fine print reader happy.


Nonny Nu said...

Shoot! I thought it was that other thing that Santa was supposed to bring. You know, the special treat for *someone*.

Cl. Panic said...

Oh, that arrived too...