For the love of all that is holy...

Every Tuesday is trash day at the Nu residence. So, Monday night, everyone in the neighborhood wheels their trash cans out to the curb. It's understood that the condos to the right of us use the curb to the right of our driveway and so we use the curb to our left. Yet, for the past four weeks, some jackass has been parking a van at the curb to our left on the night before trash day. GAH!!!

It's not like these people don't know it's trash day. I've seen the van parked in a condo parking space so it's obvious that the owner stays in one of the condos. You know, we've tried to be neighborly. We used to feed the birds on our back deck but when some neighbors came by to ask us to stop because we were attracting pigeons, we stopped. Now, there's one less type of animal in our backyard petting zoo.

So, what is up with this van business?? Mr. Nonny Nu says I should just be neighborly and put the trash right at the entrance to our drive way. Since the trash guys come by super early every trash day, the trash cans will be empty by the time I leave for work and I can just bring them back in at that time. But, I don't like to block my driveway like that. This is the last time this happens. Next week, I'm putting my trash cans out early and I'm going to use the curb to the right of my driveway. Then, whoever drives that van can get the evil eye from one of his/her condo neighbors. What a jerk. I hate when people are like this!!! My niceness is so tested right now. I repeat, GAH!!!

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MPBSFA Day 4: Monterey Bay Fish Bowl (Part I)

Day 4 saw MonkeyPig and Nonny Nu journeying to Monterey Bay Aquarium. But, our first stop (of course) is to procure some food for the journey. We went to a local sammich shop and picked up $23 worth of sammiches and goodies.

Then, we were off. Along the way, MonkeyPig read out loud from the latest Harry Potter book. As usual, it was more fun than a person could stand. Now, you can either google "Monterey Bay Aquarium" and see all of the professional-grade photos, but then you wouldn't be able to see these gems taken by yours truly.

Fish


Otters
These were the main attraction at the zoo so, naturally, the viewing area was super crowded. And, there were so many kids!! They were mostly annoying. I don't see why kids get dibs on the front row spaces. I paid more than they did to get in. Shouldn't I get the front row space?? This doesn't make sense at all.


A TWoNN first: Here are some videos! Can you guys believe I took these videos with my $99 hand-me-down camera?? (Beware: There's sound on these due to the annoying kids.)

Feeding time:


Diving:


Playing:



Anchovies
These anchovies were in a cylindrical tank and the only thing they do all day long is swim around, around, and around.


Here they are in motion:


Sun Fish
There was a deep "outer bay" tank with many fish, including huge tuna. But, the weirdest fish in the tank were two sun fish.



Corals


Okay, chickadees, it's time for chores and then bed. As Bart Simpson says, "Go to bread!"

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SF trip -- Refugee Style: Part IIby MonkeyPig (guest blogger)

We were only about 1 hr late for our SF trip. But, thanks to Mr. Navman, we did not get lost. "....In 200 feet, make a left turn...keep left and enter the motor way....". For those of you who don't have a personal navigation system, this is an absolute essential. For those of you who are wondering.."now what does this have to do with refugee style..". It does, with gas being so expensive, the pennies that one can save in the long run will more than pay for the Navman. BTW, its a refurbished Navman...must keep the refugee tradition.

We scout around for about 30 minutes to find the most "reasonable" vendor. Of course, the cheapest crab guy is also the crabbiest. But, the price was good and we got a medium crab and a sour dough manhattan style clam chowder. I swear, they must just put red dye in the NY style clam chowder. But, its OK...with a little bit of imagination, we downed the "manhattan" clam chowder. The crab was great. After figuring out the appropriate anatomy for poop and discarding the poop, we ate the entire crab to include the yummy cholesterol.

We then decided to walk to the GGB. Cause it looked so close to FM Wharf. More importantly, the cruise to Alcatraz would've costed an army-&-a-leg. We decided to take the cable care to the GGB. After walking a while we saw this humungous line for the cable care. Not to mention 24+$ per person. Forget it!!! Just like my motto, legs are made to walk. We walked to the bus station. Took # 30. The bus driver gave us a transfer. We were supposed to have 2 1/2 hours to use the transfer and return to the original station for the price of 3$ per both of us. Can't beat that!!!

We tried to blend in with the other regular busers. NN walked back and forth on the bus. We took out our tour literatures and pretended to engross ourself in reading. Good that some Australian guys figure out we're some ignoramus amature busers. Otherwise, we'd have gone to Timbatu. He told us to get off the bus at the appropriate stop. But we missed the #28.

So, we decided to walk because we can walk and catch the next #28. Unbeknownst to us, we were one street too far from the #28 route. But, after some hard work and tenacity and about 2 hours, we made it to the GGB. It was pretty. Our plan was to traverse the bridge. Take the bus at the other end and go back to FM Wharf.

Well, there was another unbeknownst at the other side. There was no bus, unless we walk at least 2 more miles off the bridge into Marin County. So, with some many unbeknownst, we decided to walk 1.7 miles of "knownst" distance back to the SF end of the bridge for the "knownst" #28 back to FM Wharf.

After all these, we had fun, saw the bay area and the GGB. Most importantly, we kept to the Refugee Style rule #1...free all the way or as all the way as you can get.

We then went to another restaurant in China Town. It was another MMD restaurant.

But all's well ends well.

The trip was great.

We went back to the NNN abode located between Alaska and the north pole.

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MPBSFA Day 3: Why Does Nonny Nu Have a Farmer's Tan?

See that farmer's tan? It's mine. Yep, ALL MINE. *sigh* As you can see, I'm kinda sorta burned, too. Folks might be wondering why it is that an Asian would get sunburned. Well, it's probably from being in the sun without sunblock for over six hours straight. Yeah, that might have had something to do with it.

Anywho, MonkeyPig was thinking about Fisherman's Wharf, so that's where we went. You all know what the [proposed] itinerary looks like, so let's see how it actually panned out.

11:40am Arrived at San Francisco.
12:20pm Purchased seafood sampler; had lunch; met local.
1:00pm Visited Boudin Bakery; watched bread sorter; got drinks (ahhhhhh...).[1]
1:20pm Walked around Fisherman's Wharf (motorized tours, horsie tours).
1:45pm Decided to take cable car to Golden Gate bridge; walked to cable car station; changed mind and decided to take bus instead; walked to bus stop (line 30). [2]
2:30pm Got on bus; got off bus; failed to find transfer bus stop; continued GGB Bataan-style death march. [3]
2:41pm Admired houses along Marina Street [4]; watched kids capsize [5]; watched kids on field trip to the Arboretum (of course, we're not lost).
3:08pm Oh, look, there's Alcatraz.
3:09pm Arrived at Crissy Park. [6]
3:42pm Arrived at stairs to the GGB, where more posing ensued; realization that we look like MIT (made in Taiwan).
3:49pm Went up the stairs and checked out the plants along the way. [7]
4:06pm Arrived at GGB; enjoyed more walking.
5:12pm Completed the GGB; found that there is no bus going back; headed back on foot.
6:26pm Got back to the beginning of GGB; took bus back to Fisherman's Wharf; bought non-matching fleece jackets (learned our lesson with the monkey shirts); picked up car and headed to Chinatown.
7:14pm Arrived in Chinatown; MP decided to forego restaurant suggestions and instead choose one on the fly; chose a restaurant that looked legit; got seated under a poster of Esther Williams style ducks and a tree; realized it was a bad decision.
7:46pm Food arrives (including sticky rice chicken that was all sticky rice and no chicken, Roast Duck and Soy Sauce Chicken, Chinese Spinach, Fish and Shrimp Porridge, and Stir Fried Pea Vines).
8:36 Finished dinner; walked back to car (passing a Chinese Macy's).

Now, one thing to note about this excursion is MonkeyPig's induction into the Chinese Extreme Photo Efforts Club. Although MonkeyPig isn't a squatter, she does go to extreme lengths to take a photo:
Pic 1
Pic 2
Pic 3
Pic 4
Pic 5
Pic 6
Pic 7
Pic 8




[1] The way Boudin Bakery lures its customers into its carb-web is by pumping out delicious bread smells via these huge pipes. But that's only one half of their business model. The other half involves putting a pretty boy baker up front so that (female) passers by can "ask him questions." Barf. But, MP wasn't interested in the baker. Anywho, they had alligator and crab shaped breads there. I bet they don't taste good. One of our family friends (Cantonese name: "Lay Bahk Neung") used to make moon cakes in the shape of animals and they were good too look at but not good to eat.

[2] Along the way, MP disciplines a little girl, checks out some monkey merchandise, and gets caught shoplifting. We were nearing the GGB and got to the cable car station across from Ghirardelli, but the lines were ridiculous. So, after listening to the street musician (he wasn't half as good as Mr. Nonny Nu, btw) for a little while, we decide to take the bus.

[3] This little bus ride really opened our eyes to just how gentrified we had become. Once upon a time, MP and I were avid bus riders. We took the bus to school and we also took the bus to piano lessons. But, on this fateful day, not only did an Australian gentleman instruct us on which lines to take, we were having so much fun goofing off (including posing with a Hong Kong TVB-style nudge of the glasses) that he also had to remind us of our stop. Then, when we got to the door, we didn't know how to make it open and he said, "You have to step down onto the lower step." Man, were we embarrassed. Refugees losing the inate ability to take the bus. Shameful!

[4] Here is one house and another house that looked nice. This one was for sale. We called the listing agent, who informed us that the house was listed for $6.5M, with 5000 sq. ft., 5 bedroooms, 7.5 baths. You can get so much more in Tulsa with one tenth of the money.

[5] Along the way, we passed a little marina where a bunch of little kids were learning how to sail. A pair capsized, but the boat started turning back over as if by itself. Finally, the two dragged themselves back into the boat.

[6] Apparently, I was walking too slowly. But, I was watching all the dogs and their owners who came to this park/beach to play. But, we were making progress because the GGB looked bigger.

[7] Plenty of flowers to see here (e.g., pale pink Petalus Petalumus, bright orange Yum Yums, violet Foofiedumblebots.

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MPBSFA Day 2: Phleger Estate

Here we are at official Phleger Estate sign (left to right: Stillman, Freelance Midget, MonkeyPig, and Nonny Nu). It was a really fun day. The weather was just right, not too hot and not to cool. We saw a banana slug, and MonkeyPig and Freelance Midget poked it a bit. Before we knew it, we were already at the halfway mark. Of course, there was the usual antics, including taking pictures of each other as we took pictures and surreptitious photography.

Stillman and I showed MonkeyPig the landmarks, like the bridge where we took a group photo, and the graffiti rock. MonkeyPig had a bathroom break at Yoda's house, btw. Then, I had a failed attempt at using my timer to take a photo with MonkeyPig on a log. All in all, it was a very fun hike, except for Freelance Midget who suffered a bee sting to the head. Stillman was quick to produce a first aid kit, and I, being the documentarian that I am, saved the stinger for show and tell.

After that and because the dim sum place was too crowded, Freelance Midget, MonkeyPig, and I had a steamboat lunch (clockwise from upper left: enoki mushrooms, beef, lamb, fishballs, napa cabbage, udon noodles, taro, spicy fishcakes, spicy tofu; and clockwise from upper left: spinach, deep-fried gwais, bamboo shoots, more beef). What you do is you cook the food at the table using boiling hot broth. The spicy side of the soup was way too spicy, though, and we just didn't have strong enough taste buds to endure it. MP and FM had a good time. Some people like to cook as they go, but here's how I like to assemble my stuff.

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Phlegerby MonkeyPig (guest blogger)

As Johnny says..."I'm back".

It was interesting staying with the Nu's. As I am writing this blog, my finger is half frost-bitten and my toe is about to fall off.

This is a nice area. Many techno's running around. You can tell by their square / rectangular glasses, their Borg style blue-tooth, 5'ock shadow and their Indian accents.

Damn, the A/C is on again!!!

I would never go back to Dynasty. Not only is it MMD. But, it is extremely MMD and very pricey for the quality of food they serve.

We went to Phleger Estate. It is a very nice hike. For those who are couch potatos, get off your potatos and go on a hike.



The hike was relatively uneventful. The were natural bridges and bathrooms. One can get stung for free. Freelance Midgett must have the best pheramones of all because Mr. Bee gave her neck a kiss. As exepcted, she did not appreciate the kiss. The reaction FM displayed, you think she's gonna die. She did pissed one doctor off because she did not believe in the doctor's advice of just putting ice on the sting. She had to call her Stud Muffin to look on line for the treatment of beestings. As expected, the google answer to beesting was the same as mine. FM lived through the beesting and ate hotpot.

Nonny Nu and I went to get a hair cut. It was in the mall. I was told that the hair cut was 30$. I should've known when a guy pad 42$ for his cut. The pain was more than what FM experience when I saw the bill for the hair cuts (Nonny Nu and mine) - 94+20 tip. That like a year's worth of hair cut for me. I am in shock and will go back to my cubbie hole to recover until tomorrow's spending spree.

Its off to SF.

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MPBSFA Day 1: Dynasty Turned Out To Be Just MMD.

You might be asking yourself, "Hm. Did she just say, 'MMD?' Or, am I imagining things?" No, you are not imagining things. I did indeed say that Dynasty was just "MMD." For those of you who are not one of my sisters, I will explain. MMD is short for "ma ma day." That's Cantonese for "just so-so," or "meh *shrug*."

After dining at Dynasty this evening, both MonkeyPig and I have judged Dynasty to be merely MMD. It could be that we are spoiled rotten from Monterey Park Chinese food, what with its Sam Woos and Ocean Stars, but we really weren't blown away by Dynasty.

After hanging around at the Nu residence for a while, MonkeyPig and Nonny Nu went to dinner with Freelance Midget and her studmuffin. Sorry, I forgot to bring my camera so I can't personally document any of this, so I'm providing pics from the Net. We had the Fish Maw and Crab Soup (MonkeyPig's choice), Stir Fried Chinese Spinach (mandatory), Scallops and Shrimp in Szechuan Sauce (studmuffin's choice), and Chicken in Dynasty Sauce (Freelance Midget's choice). Now, I thought that the soup and scallops/shrimp were okay, and I actually really liked the chicken because they used thigh meat instead of breast meat, which made the chicken dish very moist. But, MonkeyPig, the guest of honor, was unimpressed by it. She thought the chicken too fatty because it was thigh meat. But, that's what I loved about it! Anyhow, we also had hot and sour soup at the end because we were still hungry. That included a strange ingredient that is not traditionally in hot and sour soup, and it caught us by surprise (and not in a good way).

But, the veggies were the worst. Growing up, the number one most beloved kind in my family was Chinese spinach. (It still is.) The stem is hollow, so I used to use it like a straw to drink soup, which thrilled my mother. (She was also charmed when I lost one of my front teeth and routinely pulled noodles through the hole it created.) Anyhow, Chinese spinach is easy to stir fry. You just cut it into manageable lengths, put them into a heated wok with garlic and oil, toss them around, and you're set. Whether stir fried in garlic, or stir fried in garlic and chili, or stir fried in garlic, chili, and preserved tofu. No matter what other flavors we put in it, it will look something like this or this. But, when the Chinese Spinach showed up, we were awed by its hue. It wasn't green like what we had all expected and grown accustomed to. Instead it was almost turqoise.

But that is what did Dynasty in for me. If you can't do a decent Chinese spinach stir fry, then you're in trouble.

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Hey, guys, we're Googlable!

What I am about to say may be construed as a betrayal to good old Freelance Midget. Yes, this entry suggests that Google is a respectable search engine but, come on, folks. Isn't it, though? I mean, the name of the company has become a common verb in our society. Even Yahoo! in its heyday didn't have that. We never said, "Just Yahoo! it," or "Just webcrawler it." No, there's something about Google. But, I reiterate that this only speaks to the product of Google and in no way implies that miscreants who work at Google are worth peeing upon if they were to catch on fire.

Okay, okay, so I may be over-excited about something that's really just nothing, but I guess everyone wants the 15-seconds that they were promised (we're entitled to those 15-seconds now, right?). Okay, I admit it! I'm a schmuck and I'm super-excited to see the TWoNN contributors show up on the A-list--Google's search results.

How did I make this discovery? In preparation for MonkeyPig's arrival, I was searching for some extra information on the Phleger Estate trail. So, of course, I googled it at Google's blog search engine: [type]P-H-E-backspace-L-E-G-E-R-space-E-S-T-A-T-E-return[/type]. The results popped up and, OMG!, there we were at the number one spot! Not only that, I tried some other search phrases and every single TWoNN contributor showed up:

"sanborn trail"
"purissima creek"
"reason vs. monkey"
"refugee style"
"maggi sauce"
"attack of the endorphins"
"dumb broads"
"fish finale"

I'm so proud, folks. We're finally on the board! Good job everyone! Every contributor is getting a 25% bonus!

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Where should we go?

As you all know, MonkeyPig is going to visit HQ soon, and I'm going to take her to a dinner of authentic Chinese deliciousness. Where to go? I'm depending on you guys and your search skills and indepth analyses.

Here are the choices (vote below):
Mayflower
Lichee Garden
Empress of China

People, note that we are going for D-I-N-N-E-R, not dim sum. Also, I don't want to go to a place where a bunch of Americans say, "Oh! The Sweet and Sour Pork was so good!" NO. Nyet. Nein. Nuh-uh.

[Cantonese]
Thoh jeh gawp sing wei lah.
[/Cantonese]

I want a place that has grossed people out. A review like the following is a good sign:




Vote accordingly.

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OMG, I Died When I Saw This...

So, I come into the offices of Nu, Nu & Nu LLP this morning and find this sitting in my email's inbox:
When I clicked on the link, I died laughing.

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[Proposed] Itinerary for MonkeyPig's Upcoming Visit

Hi-dee ho, chickadees! MonkeyPig is slated to visit HQ next month, and here is the [proposed] itinerary for her visit here. She will be touring Nu, Nu & Nu LLP, as well as area attractions. What do you think? Too packed? Not packed enough?

[PROPOSED] ITINERARY FOR MONKEYPIG’S VISIT

SATURDAY
3:30pm – 5:30pm Orientation
6:00pm – 8:00pm Dinner at Dynasty Chinese Seafood Restaurant (see also, jatbar.com review)

8:30pm – 10:30pm Fun at the Nu Residence

SUNDAY
9:30am – 11:30am Dim sum breakfast at Joy Luck Place

11:30am – 2:30pm Phleger Estate Hike
2:30pm – 3:30pm Lunch at Porridge Place
4:00pm - 6:30pm Haircuts

6:30pm – 8:00pm Rest; Monopoly; XBox

8:00pm – 10:00pm Dinner (MonkeyPig's steaks)
10:00pm – 10:30pm Fun at the Nu Residence

MONDAY
11:30am – 9:00pm Visit San Francisco, including Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman's Wharf (lunch), Alcatraz, Chinatown (dinner--TBD)

TUESDAY
7:00am - 8:00am DMV

8:00am - 8:00pm Monterey Bay Aquarium, 17-Mile Drive
8:00pm - 10:00pm Dinner at Thai Pepper (this is the place where I had my birthday lunch)

WEDNESDAY
9:30am – 10:30am Dim sum breakfast at Dynasty Chinese Seafood Restaurant (see also, jatbar.com review)

10:30am – 1:30pm Winchester Mystery House or Long Ridge Hike

1:30pm – 3:00pm Lunch at Hu-Chiang Dumpling House

3:00pm – 4:00pm Visit to Nu, Nu & Nu LLP

4:00pm – 8:00pm Rest; Monopoly; XBox

8:00pm – 10:00pm Dinner at (Korean BBQ – link to follow)

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I'm-a Gonna Learn Me Some Plants!

Apparently, some people disagreed with my naming of the wildflowers from my last hike. So, Stillman, for my birthday, got me a tutor, Professor Know-It-All! Dudes, check out this guy's brain! So, for Fourth of July, Stillman and I went to Sanborn Trail with the Professor. Here's a map. This was not where we had planned to go, but when we got on the freeway to go to our originally planned destination, it was just bumper to bumper with holiday traffic. So, we just switched destinations in the blink of an eye. [Stillman: We're pretty darned adventurous to just switch locations like that, aren't we?]

The first thing I noticed was the seasons had really changed. We were no longer in the lush springtime. Summer was upon us and the trail was much drier. We were expecting a Banana Slug Fourth of July Parade, but no dice. Stillman did her banana slug call in vain. [Stillman: They could be charging to the gates as we speak but we wouldn't know about if for a few hours. They are, afterall, banana slugs.] We did encounter some water, but it was rare and just enough to make a tiny branch start growing out of the trunk of a tree.

So, we just kept on trucking and admired the scenery, which included a tree that looked like antlers growing out of some Tafoni rocks. We were just down the road from Castle Rock, so I was sort of disappointed because I didn't see any manzanitas, which were very abundant at Castle Rock. There were plenty of madrones, though, and some were huge. The red bark of the mardrones showed up brilliantly against their green leaves, just like the way my red mosquito bites are showing up brilliantly against my yellow skin right now. I don't have a picture of my mosquito bites (the last time I posted a photo of my wounds from when I ate it while running, Mr. Nonny Nu made me take it down), but you will get the idea by just viewing either the internet re-enactment of the incident, or a screen shot of a full-length feature film of the incident featuring my body double).

We came across some plants that looked like scallions, and you all know how much the Nus like our scallions! So, Stillman and I investigated. Yeah, they really were wild scallions. These things actually have blooms, but I guess we are past the blooming season for the wild scallions. I didn't spot any flowers until we got to the very middle of the hike. But, that's where I saw some shrubs with yellow flowers. I ran up to the shrub. I thought I had found some Lemony Doodads, but Professor Know-It-All said they were Scotch Broom. Scotch broom?? RIGHT. I swear, these academics are so silly sometimes with their "names."

Then, we came upon a hostel. This wasn't the type of hostel that you hear about in the news. No, this was a fairy tale hostel, an oasis in the woods, the type of hostel where people DON'T get slaughtered. In other words, the boring kind. I looked inside and saw a really nice dining hall and living room with piano (check out the intricate staircase). They turned the landing into a little music area. Unfortunately, the hostel was closed (they keep it closed during the day to cut down on expenses since they can't charge customers an arm and a leg--HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAAAA!!!). So, Stillman and I just took a look around. We followed a path that was ringed by a moss-topped rock wall and found a pond covered by a thick layer of algae. In one little area of the pond that was relatively clear of algae, there were toads and turtles. All along the pond were Pinky Patinkin and peepee colored Peepee Flowers. Now, according to Professor Know-It-All, these were actually Azalea and Tinker's Penny, respectively. Fellow citizens of TWoNN, you tell me which names make more sense to you. Anywhoo, the Professor was at least nice enough to take a picture of Stillman and me.

By that time, we were pretty hungry, so we found some picnic tables at the hostel under a canopy of redwood trees, one of which apparently bleeds photons the way maples bleed syrup. Stillman had a BLT and I had a salami sammich.* [Stillman: No, I don't want any of yours and you're not having any of mine either.] [Nonny Nu: Well!] It was a really nice little set up. There was even a real live barbecue pit there. Stillman was too pooped to peep at that point. Okay, maybe she did let out one little peep.

After we recharged, we figured that it was best to head back to the trail. As we left the hostel's property, Stillman noticed a deer that was about 10-15 feet away from us! All three of us looked at each other and didn't know what to do. But, finally the deer snapped out of it and hopped back behind a tree (about 25 feet away now) and was looking over its shoulder at us. Did you see it? Here, I put a National Geographic-like yellow rectangle around it. Then, it just leapt off.

One thing I didn't tell you was that we had been going downhill so far. That means that we had an uphill climb ahead of us and, boy, was it steep. I'm talking steep. None of that 7% grade sissy stuff. We were going pretty steady at about a 45 degree angle for quite a while. I was so tired... We passed by a yellow grass field and saw some nice vistas(!). But, as we got higher up, we saw ravines, too. I saw some Purplescus Purpledum and Yellowstar Galactica, while Professor Know-It-All saw Purple Thistles and Goldwire Hypericum Concinnum. Yeah, that rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it? Just goes to show that having an "education" isn't everything...

*We got these sammiches at a deli on Saratoga Avenue, right before it turns into Highway 9 (aka, Big Basin Way) in downtown Saratoga. I can't remember the name of it, but it is rumored to have been bought by a busboy who worked there, and the seating area is downstairs from the counter where you order the food. Anyhow, DON'T GO TO THIS PLACE THAT I CAN'T NAME. The sammiches were small for the price. $6.00 each! Sheesh!

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