Happy Belated Birthday to Green Thumb McGillicutty!!!!

"Dearest" Green Thumb,

We at Nu, Nu, & Nu, LLP were engulfed in charting work this weekend and I just completely forgot to flip the calendar and missed your birthday. Please accept my "most heart-felt" "apologies!" I am also "very sorry" that you cannot partake in the charting "festivities" since you are on "maternity leave." But, oh, well, maybe next time, right? To make up for my lateness, I have used four exclamation points instead of the usual two in the title of this blog post. Plus, please help yourself to the TWO chart cakes below!

"Love,"
nn

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New Commenting Procedures

Whoa! I just noticed that the commenting process has changed since a week ago. They have the textbox right there for you to write in your comment! I've updated the instructions up top accordingly.

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Chinese Swan Lake

Wow! You guys have to watch this (courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. 3-Fish! It's the Chinese Circus doing their rendition of Swan Lake. They should have used this chick in the Olympics instead of the infants. I bet it really hurt when she stood on that one guy's skull. I know this because whenever Skillet or Kash stand on me with their little pointy feet, all of their weight is supported on four points and it's like having someone stab you with a dowel. Can you imagine how much pressure she's putting on that guy's head?? Ouch. Of course, only the Chinese would come up with something so artful, incredible, and ridiculous at the same time. Hey, I wonder how it will look if I stand on one toe on the top of your head? Let's try it!

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The Joy of Eating Porridge

When you are sick, do you eat chicken noodle soup? If you do, you are most likely not Chinese. Chinese people eat porridge when they are sick. This is our "comfort food." I'm not sure what Western porridge is made of, but Chinese porridge is just rice and water. You simmer one part rice to about five parts water and end up with this:

Tsohk = Porridge = Yum!

It's bland, sure, but that's the beauty of it. Now, porridge can be prepared with all sorts of stuff in it, like beef, seafood (teng tsai, which means "little boat"), roast duck with thousand year old egg*, anything you want! But, when little Chinese children (hereinafter, "Chinettes") are sick, their parents cook "white porridge" (bak tsohk) for them. That's just plain porridge with nothing in it. Okay, they'll add a little salt to give it some flavor. Okay, okay, you beat it out of me. They might add a little bit of ground beef and chopped onions, too. If the Chinettes are good.

Anyhow, that's what I like to eat when I'm sick. But, I like to eat tsohk even when I'm not sick! Surprised? Well, I like to eat bak tsohk when there are good accompaniments to be had. Now, look at what I packed for my lunch tomorrow to go with the bak tsohk that I bought for only $1 today:

Bamboo shoots with chili oil
Gluten with peanuts
咖哩齋鮑魚 trans: Curry Cha'i Pow Yu, a.k.a. Braised Gluten (Seitan Tidbits)**
四川辣腐乳 trans: Szechuan Brand Fermented Bean Curd (chunk) in Dressing with Chili***

But, here's the piece de resistance: Wah Toh's Homemade Fried Silver Fish. I received this in the mail last week, along with two Ding Dong towels. I wanted to open that thing up and eat the whole jar. But, no, I showed some self restraint and made preparations. I visited the newly opened Chinese market**** and bought all that stuff listed above just so that I could have some accompaniments for this little slice of heaven. So, add a humungous apple from 3-fish, and I am all set for tomorrow!


*Okay, if you want the skinny on the thousand year old egg, then read this. Look at how beautiful it is! Yeah, the whites (that have now turned a transparent coffee color) has the texture of Jell-o, and the yolk has a creamy texture and tastes like fermented salt. Don't knock it till you try it.

**Good grief. Isn't that the most useless translation you've ever seen? Here's the real poop: It's fake abalone in curry sauce.

***HAHHAHAHAHAA!!! OMG, okay, whenever I buy this stuff, I only look at the Chinese. I never really looked at the English translation until now, and you know what? I never thought of the liquid inside the jar as a "dressing!" Not sure why, but that is just hilarious to me! I actually had some trouble trying to open that jar (I had to heat the lid and tap it and really add some elbow grease). But, I didn't ask Mr. Nonny Nu to help me open it because he would completely freak out if he saw what it was. Yeah, that's why I thought I'd just keep it to myself. *crinkles nose* *nods*

****Look what you can do with some instant noodles, romaine lettuce, Chinese beef balls, and a microwave at work. I got so many of my childhood favorites!

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One Year Later

I love you so much, Sushi. It just breaks my heart to remember all of the wonderful times we had together, and all the times you comforted me when I couldn't rely on anybody. But you were there, and you were always there for me. You are a special kitty, and I don't think I'll ever find a kitty like you.

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Oh, noes!

Well, it finally happened, folks. Dolly got a small ding on the driver's door. It wasn't me! Someone did it to her. It's not too bad, though. It's really a very small dent that you can only see if the light strikes her just right and your line of vision has to be almost parallel with the surface of the door to see it. But, still...

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Oh, gross!!

Remember when we last talked about restroom stalls? Freelance Midget recently sent me an article about them. It's SOOOOO GROSS!!! Here it is. Apparently, my favorite "near last" stall at the office isn't so great since it's used more often than the first stall. But, that first stall is just too "exposed" for my tastes. I mean, nobody can see me in there, but still. It's the first one! I just can't do it. I just can't!

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Is it so wrong?

Okay, folks, I have a confession to make. I have very little experience dancing. In fact, I would categorize myself in the "don't know how to dance" category. Sure, I have my little "moves" that I do around the house, but it's not really something that people should be exposed to. But, ever since I got the Richard Simmons DVDs, I think I've really improved! I am now proficient at the Cha Cha. I can do the stir and the rumble. I am okay at doing the X's. So, here's the question I have for you: Is it so wrong to learn to dance from Richard Simmons?? I think I look pretty good.

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So long, Paul.

Sad news, everyone. Paul Newman passed away yesterday. This makes me a very, very sad rabbit. Here is a nice article about his life and career. Here is my favorite photo of him:

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Holy Moly!!

When you get in bed and turn out the lights, do your eyes glow red like the numbers on your alarm clock? Do yellow puffs of sulfur seep out of your pores every few seconds like a Glade plug-in? For the women, during the day, do you find that you have to adjust your headband because your horns make headband placement difficult? If you answered yes to any of these questions, boy, do I have the answer for you!

Take a look at what I saw this Sunday when I was getting breakfast! Yes, it is an exorcism van, my friends, cruising the San Francisco Bay Area. I was ready to see The Church Lady unloading her synthesizer from out of the sliding side door. I have kept the photos at 100% their size so that you can see all the messages written in the style of those pastel candy Valentine hearts:

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Was ist das?

Over the weekend, I have been doing the Rosetta Stone German lessons. So fun!! But, was ist das?
Why, it's a before and after photo of the teriyaki dove that Cl. Panic gave to me to sample last week. Yum! You know that it's a rare treat when someone gives you something to eat and says, "Watch out for the bb's." When asked how the dove was de-feathered, Cl. Panic drew a diagram of a dove on my whiteboard:
(emphasis added in red). He explained that doves are not so much de-feathered as they are just skinned. There's a "soft spot" on the dove right below the breast. All you have to do is grab it and pull its skin right over its shoulders (like when humans take off a t-shirt--except someone is doing this for you and it's a skin t-shirt). Once the "t-shirt" is removed, everything else seems to go along with it except the wings and the breast. So, what you do is chop one wing off so that you can identify it as a dove when you transport it. These birds are so accommodating! Their bodies are so easily converted into a carry-out version!

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Second Careers?

This weekend, I happened upon some surreptitious second careering. What I mean is, I think that some people might be engaged in careers outside of their known ones. For example, as I was shopping for groceries, I came across this:
It appears that our dear old Midge is not only a financial analyst, but also has a second career making and selling "crunchy corn sticks." Not to be outdone, Green Thumbs McGillicutty seems to be capitalizing on her horticulture skills by opening the below establishment:
Should Midge's employer be made aware of this competing area of interest that is taking up so much of Midge's time? ("New studmuffin," my ass...) And, is this the real reason that GTM will be "taking some time off, starting next week??"

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9/11

Not sure how to greet everyone on this day. "Happy 9/11" isn't quite appropriate. Anyhow, I am wearing a red, white, and blue outfit today, as is customary for me on 9/11. But, here is an interesting and special thing I found for this occasion. As some of you may have already discovered, there is a project called "Post Secret" in which anonymous people send in postcards with their secrets written upon them. Here is the weekly updated site and here are the archives. I was surfing the archives when I found this:

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Richard Simmons

I really love this guy. Richard Simmons is so genuine and so caring. He has a show on Sirius on Sundays and I love to drive around town on errands and listen to him call up people and cheer them up. I just ordered "SuperSweatin': Party Off the Pounds" and "SuperTonin': Totally Tonin'" (with the rings, of course). The only thing that is bumming me out is that it will take 2-4 weeks for delivery! I will be sticking with Yoga for Beginners until then.

Here is Richard testifying in front of Congress (can you believe he is 60 years old?). I know that this may come across as a bit over the top to some, but I think it is coming from the heart. And, I think his idea is great.



Here is the link for Richard's Fit Kids Bill. And, here is Richard talking about the bill on David Letterman:

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Happy Birthday to My Favorite >o:3 !!

Oh, Mr. Nonny Nu!! You are such a good little bear. You maul and you growl and you flay without disregard, and all because you love the little rabbit. Yes, it's true. You make me laugh 23/6, and who can ask for more? You are the biggest cartoon I ever met. Here's to another 39 years! I hope you like the cake. You mentioned that that was a beautiful cake some time ago.

Happy Birthday, little bear!

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